[network] @hotstud_xxx; Night 112 [text]

[rubikscomplex]

[He needs to do some damage control on his image, not to mention drag his own mind away from the fact that he's done very little in the past few days to stop people doing things that are going to get them killed. So, what better way than being a nuisance?]

good evening and welcome, ladies, gentlemen and goat-things
to snowhell's first edition of the most eligible bachelor
our contestant tonight?
you know him as that guy who rhymes with man-pain
kain!

ladies (or guys)
for tonight only
we're showing an exclusive pic
get a peek under the hood and decide if you want the junk in that trunk

call in now to ask questions about our bachelor
and bid on him
heard someone's got condoms
might wanna keep em handy

[And to go along with this nonsense, there's an attached PNG. kman.png]

Comments

[rattlingthestars]

[ There's about half a second's thought of not making fun of Kunsel, but would they really be friends if they couldn't mock each other? Nope. ]

Just ladies, I think.

Maybe you should let Kesara tell them about how brave and strong he is. She did a pretty good job selling it.

@hsiaoke; voice

[heavensreader]

Wait until you hear about his other virtues! He's as wise as a sage and as kind as a living Buddha! And it turns out he does have hair!

[She may sound a little astonished about that last fact.]

[rubikscomplex]

i'm a no limits kinda guy
kain's a big boy
he can tell his new sugar daddy he doesn't want it if it comes down to that

@guardian; text;

[phaseshifter]

What Jim said. Just ladies.

[ Goshdarnit. Ignoring House's posts is usually so easy but

BUT

THE SHIPPING ]

[rubikscomplex]

i'm not here to put limits on love, angelcakes
whatever people wanna do with the guy
that's up to him and them

@gravedigger; voice

[harlequinofhate]

SOLD!

I'll give you an old bag o' chips for the guy!

@hotstud_xxx; permatext

[rubikscomplex]

a bag of chips?
srsly, dude?
you can have a squeeze somewhere fun for that
i'm not giving him up for just chips, though

Ecks | text

[ecks]

Are you authorized to sell this person?

[rubikscomplex]

yep
he didn't tell me i couldn't

@standardissue; text

[deus_ex_phs]

No. No, he is not.

@Rdua; Voice (Because what is texting again?)

[blessedmaiden]

Oh my... a Kain shouldn't be forced out of his helmet, you know?

[She personally knows a Kain who spent 17 years before finally giving up on his mask. Ah, who knows how he's doing...]

Also, the helmet adds to the mistery, to the charm!
But- who cares. I will say: both.

@hotstud_xxx; permatext

[rubikscomplex]

who said anything about forcing?
this was a totally consensual, bet-losing reveal
never said i wouldn't take it and run with it
he's the one who was stupid enough to think the vampire wouldn't suck down mystery blood like a hoover

so are you bidding, cabbagepatch?

@milkevoli; voice

[brokethefirst]

I... I think Kain can make this sort of decision well enough on his own.

[Here comes the boring train, dootdoot.

Though that is a nice enough picture, even if his eyes are closed. Now she has to wonder why he keeps the helmet on so often.]

[rubikscomplex]

not if he doesn't know who's out there and interested
so whatcha think, sailor moon?
hotness factor on a scale of 1 to 10?
just imagine laying down in bed with that rockin' bod' every night

@standardissue; text

[deus_ex_phs]

Bond, what the hell?

[rubikscomplex]

oh, hey, kain!
no major bites so far
we'll find someone, though
how do you feel about green hair?

@totheark; text

[0thingsonmymind]

he doesnot hood
itis hel met

[rubikscomplex]

it's a metaphor, hoodie

audio; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

[ At least he'd been given forewarning about the photo. Although this? This... wasn't quite what he had expected to come from it.

He should have known better with House though, really.


He still thinks he's an asshole, but this is also the breather he's needed. So, he might play along for a bit. Sorry, Kuns. ]

You know you're gonna need my seal of approval, too, right? You can't just go giving away my best friend like that to just anyone.

[rubikscomplex]

who said anything about giving him away?
i'm charging for this
think we could get at least an extra jacket and a pair of mittens
maybe even a stick of deodorant if we play the cards right

@dickcheese; text

[headjacked]

Helmethead had a name?

[rubikscomplex]

i know it's crazy
personally i think it's a pseudonym
"helmethead" is way more fitting

@captaininvincible; text;

[notaquaman]

r u tellin me this guy's so desperate 4 sex he needs u 2 sell him?
That is pathetic.

But hey, if he's the 1 looking
shouldn't he be paying u instead of the hopeful candidates?
Seems a bit backwards 2 me.

@standardissue; text

[deus_ex_phs]

I'm not desperate for sex. I didn't even ask him to do this!

[rubikscomplex]

ignore helmet head
he's just shy now that we're actually going ahead
and people see he's pathetic

and i'm doing all this for him out of the generosity of my heart
we're pals like that
we bonded over fashion