[network] @hotstud_xxx; Night 112 [text]

[rubikscomplex]

[He needs to do some damage control on his image, not to mention drag his own mind away from the fact that he's done very little in the past few days to stop people doing things that are going to get them killed. So, what better way than being a nuisance?]

good evening and welcome, ladies, gentlemen and goat-things
to snowhell's first edition of the most eligible bachelor
our contestant tonight?
you know him as that guy who rhymes with man-pain
kain!

ladies (or guys)
for tonight only
we're showing an exclusive pic
get a peek under the hood and decide if you want the junk in that trunk

call in now to ask questions about our bachelor
and bid on him
heard someone's got condoms
might wanna keep em handy

[And to go along with this nonsense, there's an attached PNG. kman.png]

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

who said anything about giving him away?
i'm charging for this
think we could get at least an extra jacket and a pair of mittens
maybe even a stick of deodorant if we play the cards right

[heroproceeding]

Just a jacket and mittens? Harsh. He's worth a lot more than that, I'd think.

[ This makes it sound like Kunsel belongs in a metaphorical bargain bin.

Not cool, man. ]

[rubikscomplex]

well what would you pay to hit that, dude?

[This may be a trick question, Zack.]

[heroproceeding]

Let's see... [ For a moment, there's silence as he seems to think that over. Minutes pass but just as it might seem he won't reply, he sends an answer House's way. ]

A house that's always warm, a tap that's always hot, and a kitchen that's always stocked.

[ Hey, House never said it had to be something he actually could offer. There's a short pause as he scratches at the back of his head. ]

But that doesn't even sound like enough. I mean seriously. You're not gonna find someone else like Helmet Head.

[rubikscomplex]

dude
you are so gay for him
sure you don't wanna bid?

[heroproceeding]

MAYBE I DO MAN.

MAYBE. I DO.

YOU JEALOUS THAT I WANT HIS HOT BOD INSTEAD? HUH? ARE YOU?

ARE YOU.

[heroproceeding]

Positive. I get plenty of alone time with my best friend as is. Without having to bid for it. [ Take it as you will. Zack, himself, sounds relatively calm about things. Albeit pausing and sounding almost thoughtful with his next words. ]

Well, I guess unless you try to send in the clown. Then I might have to step in. You know, granted this is an actual serious thing. [ Somehow, he doubts Kuns actually agreed to this.

As in not at all. ]

[rubikscomplex]

wow
have i ever not been serious?
words hurt, man
i'm just doing your buddy a level one here
seeing as he's always helping everybody else out

[heroproceeding]

Uh huh. Because I'm sure bidding's gonna bred a good judge of character right there for my friend here. You sure you thought this through, old man?

[ Two can play at the "words hurt" game. ]

[rubikscomplex]

it makes him a hot commodity
that's the kind of character i go for
rwar
except when there's a helmet
that's the deal-breaker for me

[heroproceeding]

If the helmet's the biggest issue, I'd say he's doing pretty well. It's what's beyond it that counts, man. But heh, a guy like you could probably never understand something like that.

[rubikscomplex]

nope!
i'm all superficial
which by the way
your hair and the blond guy's should get married
they'd make adorable spiky children

[heroproceeding]

Well, whenever my hair decides to make that proposal, I'll let you know. You can even be best man in that wedding.

[ He can play that game, too, man. ]

[rubikscomplex]

i think you mean best beard