[Hi there, snowhellions. You might be turning to the network in the hopes of seeing something substantial or significant, or just something that's not really fucking stupid.
What you're getting instead is an image of Church and Caboose smugly posing with a red flag. Church is also flipping off the camera with both hands because of course he is.
The only message accompanying this is a bit of glittery text:
Characters: anyone and everyone Location all around town Date: Night 180 Summary: Kill the sinners or run for your lives. Warnings: Horror, potential gore and death. Please note more specific warnings in subject lines!
close we will live, dilly dilly and when we die both in one grave, dilly dilly close we will lie
Characters: Caboose and his bestest best bestfriend, Church! They are best friends!!! Location: Building 11 and immediate surroundings Date: Morning 168 Summary: Caboose is reunited with his best friend ever. Church hates his stupid fucking life. Warnings: Pool noodles. will add if necessary ok good
[ Should you choose to access this post, dear Norfinburian...ites, you get a hiss of static followed by the abrupt appearance of a semi-transparent blue man on your tablet screen. Smiling. Gleeful. Other synonyms.
Handsome Jack runs a technically nonexistent hand through his equally nonexistent hair. ]
Who missed me?
[ Laughter, loud and biting. ]
It's a pure, unadulterated hour of the Handsomest Jack, just for you! More than you filthy bandit-types deserve, which is --- duh, b-but I'm feeling pretty damn generous.
Welcome to Norfinbury. The time is E̛̬̞͖͖̫R҉͖̯̬R̼̻͉̰͎̳̙O̩͓͔̫͇͈̯R and the date is E̛̬̞͖͖̫R҉͖̯̬R̼̻͉̰͎̳̙O̩͓͔̫͇͈̯R. This network has been provided for your use. Please interact politely with everyone else on this network.