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[network] @dickcheese, Day 165, video [open]

[ Should you choose to access this post, dear Norfinburian...ites, you get a hiss of static followed by the abrupt appearance of a semi-transparent blue man on your tablet screen. Smiling. Gleeful. Other synonyms.

Handsome Jack runs a technically nonexistent hand through his equally nonexistent hair. ]

Who missed me?

[ Laughter, loud and biting. ]

It's a pure, unadulterated hour of the Handsomest Jack, just for you! More than you filthy bandit-types deserve, which is --- duh, b-but I'm feeling pretty damn generous.

You're welcome.

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[Alfie makes even more of a concerted effort to not sound like total shit here - Jack is not someone he wants to show any sort of vulnerability in front of.]

Rhys, are you in there?

Edited 2016-10-09 17:17 (UTC)

He's not gonna be answering you anytime soon, cupcake.

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not here

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Put Rhys on.

[ look that's

ALMOST civil ok ]

That sounded like an order, young lady.

[ MAXIMUM DADVOICE: ACTIVATE ]

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cw death, suicide discussion probable

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Jesus christ, you are such a douche.

I know, right? He sure loves rubbing the 'died for your sins' thing in your face, which is rendered COMPLETELY MOOT since he re-spawned, like. Immediately.

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Oh my god you look like Church. Except that you have a thing, on your face, and your hair is also ice cream.

HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME.

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[ His face scrunches a little at the ice cream hair comment, but he mentally backtracks. ]

Look like Church, huh? Tell me, what IS he? Be honest with Uncle Jack, now.

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Let's skip ahead, shall we. What do you want in return for telling us where he is?

Mmmm, iunno, think you can break my meathusk out of the morgue and upload me into it?

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why areyou still

Could ask the same about you, Freakshow.

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What did you do.

Nothing? Just suggested that Rhys take a load off.

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And just who the hell are you supposed to be?

[Judging by everyone's reactions he's not good news. But still not the face and voice that has gone with this username previously.]

Did you miss the 'Handsomest Jack' part, genus?

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how much of my vicodin is actually left?

Enough.

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Even with additional containment methods, Rhys shows an inability to contain you.

Oh my god please don't scare him off before we find out where Rhys is, none of this is even Jack's fault

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snowblindmods - 2016-10-09 22:09 (UTC) - Expand

I am just TALKING. What do you have against free speech??

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Where ya been? Knocking around that otherwise empty skull of Rheesie Boy?

[ that's his nickname u prick ]

The invulnerability to angry mobs makes it almost worth it, y'know.

Oh. How'd you manage that?

Drive goes in port, I project on tablet. Neat trick, I know.

@IAmLegend; audio

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