Characters: Angel, Fiona, Handsome Jack and Rhys
Location: E9/Building 47
Date: Night 104
Summary: Jack revives and stumbles on Team Flowercrown within the space of a day. Thanks, admin-chan. Super.
Warnings: Handsome goddamn Jack.

( oh shit son )

Characters: Zach, Terezi, Kesara, Vriska, Handsome Jack
Location Square D13/D14
Date: Day 102, mid-day
Summary: Zach, Terezi and Kesara bump into Handsome Jack and Vriska on their first day in the ice tunnels
Warnings: violence, character death

( Read more... )

Characters: Al, Ed, Shiro, Steph, and Handsome Jack
Location F7 through to E6 (35)
Date: Day 096, Afternoon through to Night
Summary: Two groups meet up and travel together
Warnings: Handsome Jack, so possible Handsome Jack dickery

( Read more... )

[When the message comes through, it will have a screenshot of one Rhys NoLastName’s medical record. Said medical record goes through his implants, the state of his MN poisoning, his basic stats. Oh, yeah, and it includes a note that he has an AI in his head of Handsome Jack, Norfinbury’s number one murderer.]

Hello, Snowhellions, Dr. House here. Seeing as we've finished the hunt for Red Jacktober, thought it might be relevant to mention Rhysie’s kind of still in danger because he’s apparently got Jack literally on the brain. And he can take over Robocop’s body at will.

Exhibit A.

[And everyone will get the full record of House and Rhys/Jack’s conversation about this. Just to provide the context. He doesn’t look great here, but Rhys/Jack looks worse, so it’s fine.]

Someone might want to stop Angel- CHRIST!

[There’s a hard thunk as the tablet is dropped and then there are muffled sounds of a struggle. Beckett’s name comes through at some point and Quark might be shouting.]

Guys. Guys. Norfinbruhs. The fuck?

[ Oh hey, the kid Handsome Jack strangled is alive again! Not that she sounds especially thrilled. The pervading vibe here is definitely judgey as shit. ]

Look at you. Everybody fussing and meddling and flipping the fuck out. Like wigglers! Gross fleshy human chestbursting wigglers. Did you collectively miss that whole thing where I explicitly and truthfully stated that I was hells of cool with the whole getting-killed business? Like, I wasn't too subtle about that, right? Did I fucking stutter?

You guys can soil your gross human underthings all you want about how 'ooh, Jack might handsomely murder other people, boohoo I'm a scared little fleshbaby,' but that ain't even up to him. It is up to the Winter chick! The power is all in her hands here. Maybe you guys should be mobilising against the raging fuck contagion who refuses to tell us how she can be dead and talking? Ugh. And this is all assuming that he really would kill unwilling people! You don't know for sure that he would. No crime has been committed! I think. Earth laws might be incredibly fucked up? Who knows.

Whatever. So you guys can lay the fuck off now! Handsome Jack did nothing wrong.

[The post starts out as voice, with Jack sounding particularly cheerful about something.]

Hey there, Norfinbury! Jack here, with a special message to everyone's favourite lady of mystery, Winter. But before we get to that, let's get something cleared up first.

[The feed switches to video, showing Vriska reading out loud from a piece of paper.]

I, Vriska Serket, hereby state that I am of sound mind and am consenting to everything that is about to occur. I am not under duress or any form of coersion or manipulation - heh - and am fully aware that neither Handsome Jack-- whoa, is that seriously your for-real name? ...right, uh. I am fully aware that neither Handsome Jack nor the Hyperion Corporation bear any legal or moral responsibility for any and all consequences arising from the events that will follow this disclaimer. I also officially state for the record that Handsome Jack is cool and handsome, and that I fully recognise any and all claims to awesomeness coming from his person.
That's it, right?

[Jack's hand comes into view, giving her a thumbs up.]

Oh, right, word of warning. If you're of a faint disposition, or a little kid or whatever, you may want to stop watching now.

[The view swings around to the ceiling as he places the tablet on a table. Soon after, there is a faint but disturbing sound - it's Vriska, and she's choking. It lasts for several moments before being followed by a nasty crack.

Jack picks the tablet back up, turning it to show a now very clearly dead Vriska with dark bruises around her neck.]

Hope you're watching, Winter. This is what we call a demonstration. You keep up the silent treatment, and whoever's next will probably not be okay with getting killed.

And for everyone else - I know you're already getting ready to spam me with how could you, Jack and I'll stop you, Jack and Jack how are you so handsome and brilliant please marry me. Before you hit that post button, keep in mind that I've heard it all before. So many times. Don't waste everyone's time by being boring.

Characters: Vriska Serket and Zach Spencer, then Vriska and Handsome Jack
Location: Building 81 and building 97 respectively
Date: Evening 85, then evening 86!
Summary: Vriska inflicts herself on unsuspecting Norfinbuddies. God I'm so sorry.
Warnings: Vriska. Offensive language, possible violence? Will edit as necessary!

( no really I am SO SORRY )

[ Rhys is onscreen, looking considerably more ruffled than usual. But he's smiling! Smiling and crying, and trying to make it seem like he isn't doing any of the latter. ]

I. Am the greatest driver who ever lived. We were - and the sled --

[ This is interrupted by a series of loud thumps as something -- no, multiple somethings -- slam their fists into the window behind Rhys. A hideously corroded yellow robot with a flickering red eye and a monsterously deformed half-robot... girl? Thing? Are momentarily visible before Rhys screeches and drops the tablet. From somewhere offscreen, Angel lets out a startled shriek of her own.

A floating backpack(?? ????) hovers across the feed, screaming along with them(?????????). It's a wonderful orchestra of panic, people. Enjoy. ]

[ After a day and a half of complete radio silence, Angel and Rhys are back. If anyone was worried about a potential repeat of the whole kidnapping incident, it looks like those worries were unfounded - they both look happy, healthy (ish), and maybe even a little smug. Angel's wearing a flower crown, man, that's about as un-distressed as it's possible to get.

And, you know. Rhys is singing and dancing in the background with Dumpy. That's also a pretty good indicator that they're doing okay. Angel beams at the feed before speaking, clearly EXCITED AS ALL HECKIE: ]

She's a woman! The administrator spoke to us, with her voice, and she's a woman! She didn't even sound robotic - which doesn't mean she isn't an AI, of course, but ones that can imitate human cadence and tone in their speech tend to be more human in other ways, too. As in they tend to have feelings and emotions! So even if she isn't human, she's definitely a person. And a woman! We called it!

[ She pauses, shooting an excited look back at Rhys. Her brief silence makes it a lot easier to hear what he's singing - this, for anyone who might recognise it. He sings pretty well! It just sucks that Dumpy's enthusiastic screaming is drowning out a lot of it. Angel snorts, looking back at the tablet. ]

Um, yes. What... what they said. And now we know she's a person, I think... I mean, I'm pretty sure that she needs rescuing even more than we do. Right?

Characters: Everyone who attends the town hall meeting on Day 67 at Building 28, as well as people who phone in. This is a lot of people.
Location Building 28
Date: Day 67, all day for mingle, around midday for meeting
Summary: Snowbos meet up to talk snowplans.
Warnings: Snowplans may result in swearing. House and Jack are present, with all that implies.

( One does not simply walk out of Snowhell )

Characters: Ransom Handsome Jack, Enoch, Beckett. Also starring Angel, Rhys and Clayton (in the basement), Steve and Rydia (coming in later?)
Location House 43
Date: Day 65, evening
Summary: So Jack has a basement full of losers and Enoch and Beckett are REAL MAD.
Warnings: Violence. Excessive violence.

( At last, a rescue with an actual damsel! )

Hey kiddos, Jack here.

[As usual, Jack's only using the voice function. No images for you, Norfinbury!]

Yesterday, we - my daughter and I, and Rhys - got attacked by a monster. Again. We got separated while running away, and I haven't heard from either of them since.

[There is what sounds like genuine concern in his voice. He's really worried about this!]

So, uh - Angel, Rhys, tell me if you're okay. If anyone else has seen them, I'd appreciate if you'd let me know.

I know some people here don't think I should allowed be near my own daughter for some reason, so you might not want to tell me where she is. That's fine, not like I'll be forcing it out of you. Just let me know if she's... alive...

[Just as he's finishing his heartfelt plea, there are two sharp thuds from somewhere nearby. His last few words take a slightly unsure tone and he cuts off the feed, probably to go investigate the source of the noise.]

A: Network (Audio); Morning; Open to All

Hey, everyone, it's Alphonse here.

[He clears his throat a little awkwardly. He hates having to open the wounds of Clarke's death, but it's necessary to touch on it when discussing the guide she made.]

Clarke hasn't-- she's still gone, but her work and the efforts she made to try and help everyone here aren't something that we should let fade away. I've taken over maintaining the survival guide that she made. I've done some editing to make sure the information is as up to date as possible, but a lot of the people who offered to be listed there in order to help aren't-- they're not here any longer.

[Which is a nice way of saying dead. Well over half the contacts on there, not to mention the two original authors, are all dead and gone.]

So I'm asking for anyone who has useful skills, knowledge, or just a desire to help to come forwards so that we can make sure there's always someone to turn to if they're needed.

Thanks.

[And a link to the survival guide will be put up for general perusal.]

B: Network (Audio); Evening; Open to All

[As night has fallen and Al is faced with another long evening of being trapped inside, his mind turns to how to keep morale up here. It worries him that people like Zack, who had once been so full of hope and fire, is now so drawn and subdued. This place is rough on them all, the losses and injuries of dear friends take their toll on everyone, and it's easy to lose hope.

It scares him that eventually people will simply stop fighting, and he can't let that happen.

Maybe he can make a slight difference just by breaking up the serious discussion over the network with something lighter, something to help people ease their troubles just for a short while and remember how to smile or laugh. But he doesn't really know any jokes or funny stories, or-- or does he? Tim has, after all, taught him one joke from his home.

A self conscious throat clearing echoes over the tablets, before Al pipes up.]

I think I might have found something important, but I'm not sure what it means. Could you help me?

[This link is sent publicly out to everyone. The man playing in the clip is Tim Wright. Al still isn't sure why this is supposed to be funny, but he hopes he executed the joke right based on what he was taught.]

Characters: Angel, Handsome Jack and Rhys (plus Dumpy)
Location: Building 43 (square I9)
Date: Morning 62 onwards
Summary: Norfinbury's greatest hero Handsome Jack selflessly protects his beloved daughter from the dangers of Norfinbury by shutting her in a basement with no way of contacting the outside world. Oh, and Rhys is there too, he guesses. Whatever.
Warnings: Self-harm! Abuse! Kidnapping! Threats of violence! Handsome Jack!

( The password is 'I love you.' )

[The video feed opens on an empty street, nothing but the usual snowdrifts in view. It turns here and there as if looking for something. Jack's voice comes from offscreen in a mutter probably not intended to be heard.]

Where'd that piece of- figures it'd disappear just when I start filming.

[Then another voice comes in, an instantly recognisable robotic AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa that quickly gets louder as Dumpy floats into view from behind a corner.]

Hey, there it is! Right, okay. Hey, network, Jack here. Found out something I wanna share with you guys.

[His hand enters the view, pointing at Dumpy.]

So I found this thing floating around near the school, screaming like a useless piece of shit. Not gonna lie, I almost took a wrench to it - it's been taken apart twice now, not like one more would count - but then I discovered that it can actually do more than just make your ears bleed.

[He changes his gesture from a simple point to a finger gun.]

Take it away, Dumps.

[And just like that, the tinny screaming is replaced by this soundclip on endless repeat. Yes, awkward cut-off included.

Judging by the way the camera's shaking, Jack's dancing along to the music.]

Good morning. Last night, I managed to break open a deactivated tablet.

[ Angel sounds less triumphant about this than you might expect. She's a little subdued, if anything. ]

They seem to be reinforced with the same material as the doors and windows are, so I had to get it trapped in a doorway at lockdown to finally break through it. I - hm. I suppose that means the tablets can be thrown at anomalies if you get desperate? I'm not sure how much time it would buy you, but. There's that. Anyway, inside - there was a battery. Pretty ordinary, no weird alternative power source. And there was a whoooole bunch of computer chips. See attachment number one.

[ Attachment #1 is just a picture linked after the recording ends - chips.jpg - nothing too interesting at all. ]

Rhys got a text from the administrator account after that, saying that the chips would be collected for recycling? And - and, um, we kinda wanted to get a better look first, so we kinda. Took a few anyway. Tried to hide them in our pockets and, uh, our stomachs. It didn't work - we got paralysed pretty much straight away, and when we could move again all of the chips were gone. All of them. Attachment number two contains images of post-surgical scarring, so... don't look at that one if you're squeamish.

[ Attachment #2 isn't actually as gross as that might imply. It's just a picture of Angel's midriff - pale, half-covered in swirly glowy tattoos, and sporting a fresh livid scar just above her stomach. AWESOME. ]

I checked again this morning, and the wound has already faded. With that and the lack of any tracking device visible in the remains of the tablet, I'm... maybe ninety percent convinced that we're being tracked via neural implants and not through the tablets. And that we are definitely being monitored constantly, not just over the network. I mean - the recording of me turning on my beacon proved that it was likely, but the instant response as soon as I managed to break the tablet casing kind of cements that. Don't you think?

Um, anyway. I know that's not the coolest thing to hear, but. I thought people should know. Sorry.

[ And with that, she ends the recording. ]

[The video feed opens to a shot of the first floor of the hospital, pointed down at a small vent that has had its cover unscrewed and pulled off. House's voice comes from off camera.]

It's coming through? Good. Hello, citizens of Snowhell!

[He's cut off by an ungodly - yet familiar - shriek right up next to the tablet.]

Yeah, yeah, I was getting to you. As no one came to claim him and this asshole kept me up all night, I thought he could do with some community service. It builds character.

[There's an annoyed voice; though, the words aren't clear.]

I'm not hurting it, kid. Although I'm really surprised he hasn't blown up, yet. It's almost like somebody was lying about that. Oh, well! I'm sure it's just that he doesn't feel threatened. So, WALL-E here's going to get us a nice view of the ducts around here.

[Dumpy screams as he and the tablet are lowered down into the dark vent. There's a screech of metal on metal after a moment, then the camera jerks up and down a few times, showing off the vent. The robot continues to wail and the echoes reverberate.]

I'm trying to get him out. He's stuck! [There's an annoyed snort.] The only thing I've got is hand-santizer and that won't- Would you shut up? [The camera shakes again and there's a raised angry voice that isn't House's.]

Oh, stop. It's a robot. They've probably got some sort of lubricant upstairs in the pharmacy. Come on, kid. Two eyes are better than one and you can move faster than me if you really care that much to get back down here.

[Dumpy's cries continue for a while, perhaps a solid minute or two before a large group of tiny, too-quick-to-record-smoothly things with multiple legs and glittery eyes appear in the vents. They rush toward Dumpy as the robot screeches, reaching the tablet and-

The feed ends abruptly.]