[ When the feed starts, there's a strange pumping sound that may or may not be familiar to some of the Snowhellions. Soon, though, the mystery is solved as Sheena angles the tablet down to show just what's making that sound: a pressure cuff. Her voice comes over the shot. ]

Can someone tell me what exactly this is? I have no idea, but it's pretty good for training.

[ She shows what she means as she sets the tablet aside to let out the pumped air and tighten the knob again, pumping with the other hand. It's also keeping her warm. Slightly. ]

[ Too much drama in these here parts. And are there any better ways to fix it than with stupid fake text adventures?

No. No there aren't, and fuck you if you think otherwise. Tim is going to rise to this challenge and be the hero Norfinbury deserves. ]


I Miss Videogames
an original text adventure by Tim Wright

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> you wake up in the middle of a forest. you have no idea how you got there, why you got there, or where 'there' even is. you have the worst headache ever. everything sucks.
you slowly get to your feet and hope there aren't too many bugs in your hair. you LOOK around to try and get some idea of what the hell is going on.

to the NORTH are A LOT OF TREES.
to the EAST lie EVEN MORE TREES.
to the SOUTH you see SOME TREES.
to the WEST are TREES.

> what do you do? (type HELP if this is your first adventure and you need instructions)

[It's early in the morning and the Elezen is visible, curled over his tablet. He's shirtless with melting snowflakes in his hair. If it seems like he is showing off his muscular physique, it's because he is. Knowing people can he see him, he can't resist.

More interesting, however, is that he's smiling and his hawkish features have mirth in them. He's been reunited with his half-brother and some of the recent drama seems to be winding down at last. There are rations in his pack and adventure to the new part of town on the horizon. He looks more like himself than he has in over a month.]

Hail, Norfinbury!

I've been thinking over the past Moon about our current predicament. We mustn't let our courage fade with the sunlight. We should come together to celebrate all that we have accomplished.

Oh, I know our circumstances are dire indeed but if we take no time to honor our own progress all we shall ever see is the peak of the mountain looming, ever unattainable, in the distance.

[He smirks and beats a fist against his broad chest.]

Only together can we succeed in solving the mysteries of this accursed prison and to do that we must needs keep our chins high.

Of course any party we throw will be lacking in cakes or feasts but do not underestimate the warmth your presence alone could bring to such an occasion. We'd all do well to enjoy each other's company for a time.

I well remember what can happen here when we gather so I think mayhap we should find a close set of buildings and not all be under one roof, lest we draw unwanted attenton to ourselves.

'Tis worth the attempt, I think. One miserable occasion mustn't undermine all future effort to boost morale.

[He rubs his chin.]

We could make use of the meeting. Some among us know how to survive this harsh climate, some cook, some sew. Would it not be beneficial to teach each other?

Ah! Mayhap a tournament as well! Friendly sparring can keep a warrior on his toes. Right honored would I be to match my own strength against the victor.

[He gives the camera a sly wink.]

Pray think on it at least, yes?

Oh, and do remember to respond in text unless you find sport in talking to a man who cannot hear you.