Right, I've got a question.
[It's after lockdown, Alfie has done as much searching as he can with his injuries, and now he's laid up on the couch. He's in the mood to bother the network.]These "waxing strips" that I've spotted in houses, the ones made for hair removal - what exactly is the fucking point of them? They're modern, I can tell by the packaging, but we've got scissors now; we've got razors. Has humanity truly not moved beyond pouring hot wax over themselves? Fucking hell, I'm disappointed in you.
[He's 90% joking, 10% genuinely baffled.]Waxing strips - for the man who wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to take his entire mustache off.
[He snorts.]No, no, I know they're for legs; the little pictures showed as much. Never much saw the point in taking all the hair off your legs, but I hear it's becoming popular in America in my time. Does this trend continue until we all do as the ancient Egyptians and Mesopotamians did? Do we pick up writing in little pictures, as well?