[log] these boots are made for walking [closed]

[theurgy]

Characters: Cassel and Adelina
Location: Somewhere outside building 104
Date: Night 209
Summary: Cassel and Adelina get themselves stuck outside after lockdown and totally die.
Warnings: Death, injury, will edit as needed!


[For a while, Cassel had fallen into a comfortable rhythm with Adelina. He trusts her more than he trusts almost anyone else here, and it's somehow simultaneously a relief and terrifying that she's starting to know little bits of who he really is. She makes things easier, certainly, but he also doesn't want to let her down, and he's utterly certain that he will. There's only so long he can fake being a good person before he inevitably screws up, after all. Still, he finds himself trying to joke with her and stay somewhat cheerful, if only to combat the horror of the town for her.

And then he saw Lila's name on the obituary. No explanation, no cause of death. Just gone. He didn't even get to say goodbye, although he tells himself that wouldn't have mattered, because she hates him. Hated him. He deserves it.

It doesn't matter, though. His mood seesaws into something terrible, snippy and broody and utterly depressed, and as much as he tries not to take it out on Adelina, sometimes he does, his reactions automatic. His self-loathing has never been worse, and he blames himself completely. He barely talks, and when he does, it's clipped and filled with a barely contained grief.

So, he's silent as they walk through the snow. It's almost lockdown, and they're still heading north, aiming for the split tunnels. It's cold enough that it bites at his skin, numbs his toes and fingers, but he doesn't complain. He's getting off easy.

Adelina has warned him about his shoes a million times by now, and maybe it's that the tread wasn't meant for snow, or the fact that he can't feel his feet, or maybe both. It doesn't matter. As they're climbing over a low pile of rubble, one sole slips on a slick piece of metal, and he falls, not nearly fast enough to catch himself. His feet don't go out from under him completely—he barely keeps his balance, but one foot slides down the debris, and Cassel just barely catches himself, but it doesn't matter. A twisted, jagged piece of rebar impales his foot, going right through the rubber and his arch and out the other side. The pain is so sudden and blinding that Cassel doesn't even register the fact that he cries out.]

Comments

[bloodbiter]

[During the last few days, she's gotten used to walking in silence. It became evident to her shortly Lila's name appeared on the obituaries that she couldn't do anything to help him deal with his grief. Whether that was because he didn't want help or because she wasn't adept at that kind of assistance, she doesn't know, but at some point she decided it might be best to give him space for a while.

She almost doesn't notice that he's stopped, but his cry of pain alerts her to what's happened. She turns back towards him, looking him over until she catches sight of the piece of metal that's pierced entirely through his foot. She sets her bag down for a moment, breathing a sigh as she comes towards him. Once she's close enough, she kneels slightly so she can get a better look at what's happened.]

...Hold still. It's going to be alright.

[She doesn't know, even as she says that, whether or not it will be. It's clear to her that he won't be able to walk like this. Carefully, she reaches out to see if the piece of metal is lodged in the ground, or if he could be moved without it needing to come out just yet.]

[theurgy]

[It's a good thing Adelina stays calm, because the instant Cassel realizes what's happened, the wild, animal panic is almost overwhelming. The rebar is stuck fast into the rest of the rubble, which means they'll have to pull Cassel's foot up. He makes a desperate attempt to pull himself free, but barely gets a centimeter or so before he lets out a choked, agonized sound, the pain forcing him to stop.]

Shit. Shit.

[bloodbiter]

[She tugs at it a few times in case to make sure there isn't any give, before she lets go. It's no use, and she knows they don't have much time until lockdown. She moves her hand to put it around his ankle, looking up at him with an apologetic glance.]

Close your eyes for a moment.

[She imagines he knows what's going to come.]

[theurgy]

[He does, and he feels like a coward, but his chest tightens and he goes rigid at the thought of it. Nothing is as bad as the pain of blowback, but at least he passes out from that within a few seconds.

More importantly, he knows lockdown is fast approaching, and he can't lose her, too.]

Don't. I'm not going to be able to walk anyway. Just go, Adelina.

[bloodbiter]

[She doesn't dignify it with a response; she knows that time isn't on their side, and the last thing they need is to waste any of it arguing. No matter what, she knows she isn't going to leave him. She looks back down to his foot with a frown.

Tightening her grip on his ankle slightly, she pulls up, hard enough to free his foot from the piece of rebar. Then she turns around, still kneeling, so her back is to him.]

Get on. This isn't something I'm going to discuss with you, we don't have time for that.

[theurgy]

[This time, he doesn't make a sound—he bites the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes the sharp, copper tang of blood, and when his foot is free, for a moment all he can do is focus on breathing. At first, he doesn't register what she's telling him to do, and then he gets it.]

Are you serious? There's no way you can carry me.

[bloodbiter]

[She sighs, sharp and uncompromising. She stays where she is.]

I'm barely shorter than you. I refuse to leave you here alone, and you are wasting what little time we have. I told you, we are not discussing this.

[theurgy]

Adelina—

[His voice cuts off, half desperate and close to breaking.]

Don't be fucking stubborn. I'm not letting you die for me.

[bloodbiter]

I'm not leaving you behind to die when there's a chance we can both make it back.

[If she's at all swayed by the crack running through his voice, it doesn't show. From her bag a foot or two away, her tablet starts to emit the warning that comes when it's dangerously close to lockdown.

Her voice grows even firmer, even angry. They've spent too long talking about this.]

We have to go now, Cassel.

[theurgy]

[He hates this, but he hates himself more. She's in danger, and it's his fault just like it always is. Cassel forces himself up, grimacing as he grabs for her shoulder to balance himself.]

There's no way you can carry me.

[But he'll try to move as fast as he can.]

[bloodbiter]

[She almost argues again, but they truly don't have time to waste on it. She reaches down to take her pack in her hand, and then straightens up so he'll have an easier time using her shoulder as a form of support. Carefully, she puts her arm around his waist so she can help lead him forward, and then she starts to take a few steps. She moves quickly and wordlessly for a few moments, but only as much as she can while still staying by his side.

Within a few strides, she can guess it isn't going to matter. He's too injured to move as swiftly as they'll have to. She takes care not to let her expression divulge this realization, but if there's a slight shift in the way she breathes, the way she moves, a tension that wasn't there before... Well.]

You're doing admirably. We'll be there shortly.

[theurgy]

[He knows. He knows he can't keep up, and they're leaving a pretty trail of blood in the snow for their troubles. Cassel stumbles to a stop, trying to pull back.]

Addie, just leave me. I'll come back. I can't...

[The words catch in his throat, and he sucks in a sharp breath. Who fucking cares? He's going to die anyway.]

I can't lose you too. Just go.

[bloodbiter]

[She doesn't stop him from pulling back. She turns towards him, and when she sighs this time, it's shakier than she'd like it to be. Her breathing hitches for a brief moment as she looks down at the path of blood that leads to where they're standing, but she shakes her head slowly.]

I'm not going to do that.

[As ever, it's said in a tone that offers no room for argument or disagreement. She knows there's no point to trying to get him to the nearest house, not now, but she refuses to be the kind of person who leaves someone else to die alone. Still, her expression twists in sympathy when she hears the sound of his choked breathing. She continues after a moment's pause.]

I'm sorry.

[There's a variety of things she could be apologizing for, but she doesn't specify which it is. She's not certain she's decided which one it is.]

[theurgy]

[He knew that would be her answer, because she's stubborn and brave and kind and far, far more than he deserves. He's silent for a long moment, staring down at the snow, and then he unzips his leather jacket and shrugs out of it, handing it to her.]

Put it on.

[Cassel doesn't think he can keep her alive, but he's going to try.]

[bloodbiter]

No, I have a coat already. You should put it back on.

[And it won't matter if either of them wear it in the end, she thinks, but she's not about to say that to him. Instead, she just shakes her head, pausing for a moment.]

...I imagine it's incredibly painful to walk, but we could find somewhere close by to sit regardless.

[theurgy]

[He's not going to put it back on, but he's not going to bother arguing with her, either. He knows they're just finding a comfortable place to sit down and wait to die, and suddenly panic starts to claw its way into his chest. He struggles to tamp it down, but when he reaches out to take her hand, his grip is tighter than it needs to be.]

I'm fine. We can go over there.

[He jerks his head towards a pile of rubble, where a few pieces of metal are making a slightly sheltered space. It will be out of the wind, at least.]

[bloodbiter]

[When she feels how tight his grip is, she gives his hand a squeeze in return. It's meant to be comforting, but... She can feel the way her hand trembles in the cold already. Abruptly, her tablet stops warning them to find shelter, and she takes in a small breath almost unconsciously.

Regardless, she starts to lead them towards where he indicated.]

...I'm sorry.

[It isn't the first time she's said it, but this, she thinks, bears repeating.]