[The video feed opens to a shot of the first floor of the hospital, pointed down at a small vent that has had its cover unscrewed and pulled off. House's voice comes from off camera.]

It's coming through? Good. Hello, citizens of Snowhell!

[He's cut off by an ungodly - yet familiar - shriek right up next to the tablet.]

Yeah, yeah, I was getting to you. As no one came to claim him and this asshole kept me up all night, I thought he could do with some community service. It builds character.

[There's an annoyed voice; though, the words aren't clear.]

I'm not hurting it, kid. Although I'm really surprised he hasn't blown up, yet. It's almost like somebody was lying about that. Oh, well! I'm sure it's just that he doesn't feel threatened. So, WALL-E here's going to get us a nice view of the ducts around here.

[Dumpy screams as he and the tablet are lowered down into the dark vent. There's a screech of metal on metal after a moment, then the camera jerks up and down a few times, showing off the vent. The robot continues to wail and the echoes reverberate.]

I'm trying to get him out. He's stuck! [There's an annoyed snort.] The only thing I've got is hand-santizer and that won't- Would you shut up? [The camera shakes again and there's a raised angry voice that isn't House's.]

Oh, stop. It's a robot. They've probably got some sort of lubricant upstairs in the pharmacy. Come on, kid. Two eyes are better than one and you can move faster than me if you really care that much to get back down here.

[Dumpy's cries continue for a while, perhaps a solid minute or two before a large group of tiny, too-quick-to-record-smoothly things with multiple legs and glittery eyes appear in the vents. They rush toward Dumpy as the robot screeches, reaching the tablet and-

The feed ends abruptly.]

[ The video feed starts up with a view of Angel's hand, fingers spread as she attempts to balance her tablet so it stays upright. Apparently satisfied, she scampers a few feet away so that the camera shows more than a closeup of glowy tattoos. Like Rhys! Rhys is there and looking particularly Rhys...y. And bruised. Whatever. Hi, Rhys.

It's Angel who speaks first - smiling away as she tends to do when addressing the network at large. It's good to see she's over that whole "my dad is deaaaaaad" thing, right? ]

Hello, everyone! You know those shopping channel broadcasts that people do on the ECHOnet, where they advertise stuff that you can buy at outrageously inflated prices? Rhys and I thought we'd do that! Ex-except without the outrageously inflated prices bit. Um.

[ She falters slightly before gesturing to Rhys. ] Um, anyway - take a look at what Rhys has got for trade!

[ Rhys takes his cue and steps up to the metaphorical plate, all swagger and over-the-top hand gestures. ]

First, we have this stainless steel beauty.

[ He brandishes a dull looking knife, lighting it from below with his handflashlight. ]

Now, I know what you're thinking - 'Rhys, I don't need a butter knife. There's nothing to butter in this godforsaken craphole!' But that! Oh-ho, that is where you'd be wrong, my friends. You see butter knife, I see weapon. In - in skilled hands.

Knife not your thing? Well, check this out. [ The knife is exchanged for a can of soda. ] This is not something I offer lightly. Sure, it's frozen, and... prrrrrobably flat, but we can't be too picky about our sources of calories! Also, bonus -- it's grape flavored. Who doesn't love grape??

[ Angel listens to all this attentively, nodding and gasping in all the right places. WHAT SALESMANSHIP. ]

Well, Rhys, I'm pretty sure that people who don't like grape are - um, they just haven't tried it in soda popsicle form. Delicious!

[ She is SO INTO THIS. If that isn't obvious. She shows her own offering to the camera - a pair of rather unspectacular blue socks. ]

Time to take a look at what I've got for you here. These are the latest in foot-heating technology. They aren't just socks, they're - um - an investment! A very fashionable investment. These socks make a statement, and that statement is... is...

[ She's lost for words for a moment, wringing her hands slightly. ]

... "I like blue." Now, you must all be asking yourselves what payment we'll accept for these luxury items! And the answer is simple. You can purchase any of the fine deals we've been offering for the low, low price of hats! Ones that we can pull over the chunks of metal embedded into our heads.

[ Rhys cuts in one final time at this point, cheerfully adding: ]

Or we will die.


((OOC: Rhys' speech is bolded for clarity!))