[America appears on the screen sitting on a countertop in some kitchen somewhere after dark--though that's not very specific, really. He's smiling, but there's something strained around the edges that suggests exhaustion and unhappiness he's trying to cover up. He's ignoring it, though, because if he ignores it it's not there at all.]

Hey! So, according to one of the possessed people this is supposed to be some version of Alaska. [Some version of it. It's not his, so it's not his fault, so he shouldn't feel bad about being associated. He doesn't, because he says he doesn't.] I know a lot about Alaska, so I figured I could give you a basic map and stuff. There's no Norfinbury in my Alaska, but as long as North America didn't, like, crack in half or something, this should be pretty much how it looks. This is only part of a whole world map, so I guess I should just say that Alaska's really far north.

( A map of North America... More or less. The United States is eerily accurate, like a perfectly copied atlas, but Canada and Mexico are sort of lacking. )

If you guys have any questions about Alaska, you can ask me, but like I said, it's not my Alaska, so it might not all be totally right.

[Not his, not his. Everything's fine.]