[network] @magenta2; audio; day 225 [open]

[himalayanyeti]

Hey, it's me. Magenta. You may know me as the man who is absolutely not a vampire, thank you very much--which, by the way? All of you are assholes. Especially you, House. Fuck you, House, and fuck the horse you rode in on, too.

--But, um, anyways.

Not to sound alarmin', but I was curious as to the general weapons situation around here. I haven't been able to find anythin' good, at least, but I've heard people talk about knives and hammers and other shit like that. Eyes on the prize, though: anyone found any guns?

[Magenta pauses to apparently cough up his entire respiratory system, from the sounds of it.]

I don't care if they work or not...hell, I don't even care if they're in one piece. There's too few guns for this place and all its...bullshit to function. Bullets, even. Just some evidence that stuff was once here. I don't fuckin' think I'll get my Peacemaker back, but this has been botherin' ol' Magenta for awhile, and I reckon it's prob'ly botherin' someone else out there, too.

Comments

@ASolomons; audio

[devoutish]

Have you got any weapons on you now?

[please say no please say no]

[himalayanyeti]

Depends on who's askin'! Al--Al...um. Alfred, yeah?

[devoutish]

Yeah. I'm asking.

[himalayanyeti]

In that case: nnnnope! No weapons here, big guy. Don't worry about it.

@duster, audio

[bywolves]

Vampire?

[ Okay, but he likes you already, Magenta, solely because fuck House. ] Haven't seen any guns. No. Explain to me what a vampire is.

[himalayanyeti]

It's a shame about the guns, but, um...well. A vampire is, like, a big ol' dead fucker that eats your blood and doesn't keep a reflection. House and them had me all convinced I was one!

[bywolves]

[ what even, house ]

What did you do to make him try to spread that rumor?

[himalayanyeti]

I don't know! It just seems like he doesn't like me, for some reason. Whatever. He's an asshole, anyways.

@carcinoGeneticist; text

[quadrangle]

JUST SO YOU KNOW, DENYING IT LIKE THAT ONLY MAKES YOU MORE SUSPICIOUS. I BET HALF THE PEOPLE HERE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

text;

[himalayanyeti]

move out of the way i didnt realize the unaskedfor opinions carriage is coming for no damn reason

i dont wanna talk to nobody if they dont know what a gun is

text;

[quadrangle]

I MEANT THE VAMPIRE THING, BUT OK SURE, KEEP PREMATURELY ACCUSING PEOPLE OF THINKING YOU'RE WHATEVER AND SEE HOW FAR THAT GETS YOU.

[himalayanyeti]

listen people thought i was a vampire (or they were fucking with me but still) so i thought id clear the air and explain myself. i am not a vampire

@LELRIC; audio;

[armoured]

I'm really sorry, but I don't think I've ever heard of anyone finding a gun and I've been here a long time now.

[himalayanyeti]

Not even a sign of one? That's weird. I thought this place was supposed to be all future-y.

[armoured]

I think it's because they want to keep us as helpless as possible, giving us weapons or letting us keep our abilities levels the playing field too much.

[himalayanyeti]

I'm talkin' about remains, though. People were here before any of us were here; I've figured that one out--even if they cleaned up all the guns, somethin's gotta be left, y'know?

@Mnemosyne; voice;

[bookofnope]

I'm sorry, were you uncertain about whether or not you were a vampire?

[what]

[himalayanyeti]

Yes, and certain folks thought it would be real funny to take advantage of that.

[bookofnope]

How exactly did you manage to be confused about this, may I say, very much black-and-white issue?

@hotstud_xxx; text

[rubikscomplex]

the horse i rode in on was made for fucking, buddy
he's a stud
and don't talk about yourself in the third person
it makes you sound like a japanese schoolgirl

[himalayanyeti]

japanese schoolgirl?????? im from fucking georgia

[rubikscomplex]

is fucking georgia different from regular georgia?
is that why you wanna bang my horse?

@featherydouche; text

[mrcreamsicles]

are you 100% sure about the vampire thing

[himalayanyeti]

yes i think im pretty sure that im not a vampire probably

[mrcreamsicles]

but how are you sure youre sure
how rigorous is your testing
how strict are your methods
i want to know the deep scientific output if your vampire gauging algorithms
whats the unembellished data on your likelihood of vampirism
i will settle for no less than an empirical peer reviewed study