[network] @magenta2; audio; day 225 [open]

[himalayanyeti]

Hey, it's me. Magenta. You may know me as the man who is absolutely not a vampire, thank you very much--which, by the way? All of you are assholes. Especially you, House. Fuck you, House, and fuck the horse you rode in on, too.

--But, um, anyways.

Not to sound alarmin', but I was curious as to the general weapons situation around here. I haven't been able to find anythin' good, at least, but I've heard people talk about knives and hammers and other shit like that. Eyes on the prize, though: anyone found any guns?

[Magenta pauses to apparently cough up his entire respiratory system, from the sounds of it.]

I don't care if they work or not...hell, I don't even care if they're in one piece. There's too few guns for this place and all its...bullshit to function. Bullets, even. Just some evidence that stuff was once here. I don't fuckin' think I'll get my Peacemaker back, but this has been botherin' ol' Magenta for awhile, and I reckon it's prob'ly botherin' someone else out there, too.

Comments

[mrcreamsicles]

but how are you sure youre sure
how rigorous is your testing
how strict are your methods
i want to know the deep scientific output if your vampire gauging algorithms
whats the unembellished data on your likelihood of vampirism
i will settle for no less than an empirical peer reviewed study

[himalayanyeti]

i dont know a lot of those words but

1. my reflection came back
2. teeth are fine
3. dont wanna drink anything other than some coffee maybe
4. i tried to bite myself and didnt even cause a hickey

[mrcreamsicles]

[He intended to hassle him more, but now he's just curious.]

you lost your reflection
seriously
man i wish i could have gotten that for a loss
sounds way less inconvenient than the times ive died around here
youre the guy who was messing with the fire station monster right

[himalayanyeti]

it still wasnt fun specially when folks started fucking with me for no reason. no reason at all they just wanted to be rude

and yeah that was me . i let the closetmonster out

[Those two thoughts don't exactly jive well together.]

[mrcreamsicles]

dude
three words
youre a dumbass

[himalayanyeti]

three words

dontcallmeadumbass iknowiambutitstillpissesmeoff alsowhatdididothistime

[mrcreamsicles]

letting the monster out is what you did
i dont even need to go hunt down that old post to know someone had to have told you how fuckin stupid that was
anomalies always kill you if you get close to them
what did you even think was going to happen
that you and the monster were going to have a slumber party
paint each others nails and gossip about whatever you and something thats been trapped in a room for weeks would be interested in

[himalayanyeti]

it was supposed to be weak cause it had been in there for a long time jackass...i knew it wasnt super safe but i didnt mean to die

you should be simpathetic

i did die after all

[mrcreamsicles]

ive died like four times but that hasnt stopped anyone from calling me out when i brought it on my own damn self

[Which... hurt a lot for other reasons.]

the point is anomalies just arent something you should mess with in the first place
even if you do find a weapon somewhere youre not going to be able to fight them

[himalayanyeti]

i dont need your advice or just you being rude actualy. i really dont fucking care what you think mr high and mighty but i can do what i damn well please without anyone else saying what they think about that thank you very much

i dont care if i cant kill them im not doing what i did again

[mrcreamsicles]

you saw the warning label and yet now youre acting surprised
check it
feathery douche right here
i deliver on the promise and youre motherfucking welcome
anyway ive never seen a gun here
and i doubt the admin is going to start stocking them
we done here

[himalayanyeti]

sorry but what the fuck are you talking about ever

we done here though. probably

[mrcreamsicles]

dude
my username
@featherydouche
its literally right there
but yeah im out

[And he hangs up.]