[network] @magenta2; audio; day 225 [open]

[himalayanyeti]

Hey, it's me. Magenta. You may know me as the man who is absolutely not a vampire, thank you very much--which, by the way? All of you are assholes. Especially you, House. Fuck you, House, and fuck the horse you rode in on, too.

--But, um, anyways.

Not to sound alarmin', but I was curious as to the general weapons situation around here. I haven't been able to find anythin' good, at least, but I've heard people talk about knives and hammers and other shit like that. Eyes on the prize, though: anyone found any guns?

[Magenta pauses to apparently cough up his entire respiratory system, from the sounds of it.]

I don't care if they work or not...hell, I don't even care if they're in one piece. There's too few guns for this place and all its...bullshit to function. Bullets, even. Just some evidence that stuff was once here. I don't fuckin' think I'll get my Peacemaker back, but this has been botherin' ol' Magenta for awhile, and I reckon it's prob'ly botherin' someone else out there, too.

Comments

[bookofnope]

I do. I always have. And as far as I am aware - well - it's a complicated question. There are myths and records, but I do not personally know of any confirmed cases. [He makes a face then.] My own current case nonwithstanding. I am not ready to call what has been inflicted upon me in this town "unbecoming", except in the more usual sense of the word.

[himalayanyeti]

Do you actually drink blood, then? Even here? I don't know where you could get that much blood, assumin' you drink it like water. Five glasses a day, that's what I always got told to drink--do you have a person that follows you around to drink...from? Ugh, that's a weird phrase.

[Sorry, bro, you've unleashed the chatterbox.]

[bookofnope]

[He's done this song and dance too many times to feel like explaining again, plus he is not going into his actual feeding arrangements. Nope.

Clearly it is Shitposting Time.]

Why, yes, must get one's five a day. It's quite all right, the Admin has assigned me a vessel to fill my needs. She's a helper.

[himalayanyeti]

Oh, gross! I mean, at least you get some reliable eatin', but, still. Ick. Guess it's good to know that if I ever do turn into one of y'all, I have a way to get...well, you know. Stuff.

[bookofnope]

Didn't your mother teach you that it is extremely rude to criticize another culture's cuisine?

[himalayanyeti]

No? No. And she never specifically told me anythin' about vampires, so I'd take her advice pretty loosely, honestly. What the fuck.

[bookofnope]

What a lacking education you have had. Has anyone warned you about any other creeping creatures of the night?

[himalayanyeti]

Stephanie said somethin' about zombies. Are you one'a those, too?

[bookofnope]

Undead is undead, you know. Although being also a vampire, I can suck your brain out through your neck.

[This guy is the gift that keeps on giving.]