[network] @jwatson; Paranoia Strikes Deep [Night 246]

[jumpthegun]

Right. I just want to be clear given that obituary. I don't know you people. I've never met any of you. Yes, I've seen some of the logs and I've read through your guides, so don't bother telling me to do that. I don't know what the hell you're playing at or how you managed to get audio and video footage of me like that, but I'm not indulging you.

My name is Dr. John Watson. If you require medical advice, I can provide it. Otherwise, I'm a bit busy. Thank you.

Comments

@imtheboss, text

[24karat]

yeah you are definitely gonna be busy for a while
between getting all this first mess sorted out and round two when it wears off? good luck, pal.

welcome back to the land of the questionably living, anyway. refreshments and party favors are in the back.

[jumpthegun]

[With and SN like that...]

Glad to know you've got my future mapped out. Reckon that's your job as the boss, hmm?

[24karat]

would be if you were in my division. but you're not hyperion, and i'm not exactly looking for any new lackies at the moment. more pressing matters to attend to, you see.

how's readjusting treating you? 'cause you sound like you're having fun.

[jumpthegun]

[Adjusting, John mentally corrects. He can't readjust to something he's never experienced before.]

Loads of it. I was just thinking I wanted to take a ski holiday. Stretch out the legs a bit.

[It would be funny if the other man knew he were a cripple. John can be amused at his own gallows humor. That's fine.]

[24karat]

well look at you. snow bunny, are we?
now, from what i've seen? you've earned a little RnR, so. be my guest. but i dunno if i'd really recommend skiing around here, given the locals. feel free to give it a try and get back to me on how well it works, though!

[jumpthegun]

[This is a bizarre conversation and the mention of seeing that he's earned the RnR puts John more on edge.]

Sure thing. Seen any ski shops around here? Probably need to rent the equipment. Skipped the day in class they went over how to build a pair of skis.

[He does actually have a general idea of what he could use for skis, but what he really needs is a sled with a pack of dogs to pull it. Or a snowmobile. John could go in for one of those.]

[24karat]

that'd be making this easy, which is pretty much the opposite of how norfinbury works.
just get some wood and cross your fingers. best i can think of. as for what you're gonna do for poles, who even knows-- find a pipe, maybe.
[ Vasquez is admittedly prodding John a little more than is necessary-- he's curious to see how this guy's going to react, particularly considering the memory loss. He knows better than to rib him too hard, given the fact that the guide's singled him out as one of the safe doctors around. ]
and who needs rentals, anyway
we can make our own and it's nowhere near as good, but at least nobody's paying any money for it.

[jumpthegun]

Money! Bloody hell, and here's me with a tenner in the wallet, if that. Think they'd even take pounds over here? We're in future Alaska. Thought they'd be doing away with currency, and we'd be living in a Star Trek utopia a hundred-odd years on. False advertising all this sci-fi nonsense.

[Aggressive joking to cover over his uncertainty is really the best strategy, isn't it?]

[24karat]

future alaska? oh my god. what year is it for you, exactly
[ He's still not one hundred percent sure what an Alaska is, aside from a place. And what's Star Trek? The idea of Norfinbury being futuristic, however, is doing a pretty good job of making him lose his shit. ]

fuck no getting rid of money would be awful
i need that for reasons
[ One of them being bragging rights. ]

but. sorry to say you're not in utopia right now. place is basically gonna be whatever you were expecting because of your star treks, except awful and not at all like that. throw some snow in because fuck all of us, i guess.
and holy shit is this gonna be something when you remember it all, because i'm like 99% sure you've been here around fifty times longer than i have. and yet, here i am telling you the ropes like i know something.

[jumpthegun]

[John rolls his eyes to himself.]

It's 2010. When are you from? 2350?

And those reasons for the money would be...?

[Yeah, he's just not going to respond to the rest of that. John's had it up to the neck with people telling him he's a bloody amnesiacs.]

[24karat]

that's so cute
you're like a time capsule? what kind of tech level are you stuck with
but nah you're off by around. 500 years, give or take? although i'll give you points for getting in the ballpark

[ Dammit, he knows he's not going to like the answer he gives. Too late to do much about that, though-- but the question's been asked, and he can't get out of it. ]
well partially because it gives me a particular level of status that's pretty damn nice, and also because i use it for staying ahead wherever possible.
might i also add that you've just gotten way more information than i ever like sharing.

[jumpthegun]

[That's nowhere near the ballpark, but it's all nonsense, anyway, as far as John's concerned.]

I'm honored. Any particular reason I've been deemed worthy? I've got that tenner in the wallet, but I can't say I'm flush with cash, mate.

[24karat]

[ It's a closer guess than he was expecting, really, so John gets to keep the points either way. Vasquez isn't as pleased about the rest of the current topic, though. ]

'cause i got iced in the literal sense not that long ago and now i have to be honest about everything, i guess??? all truth all the time and it sucks
been told it'll wear off in a few days though so i'll live. just won't be thoroughly enjoying myself in the process, which is a shame, but that's the tradeoff. least i'm not dead anymore, though
could be worse?
[ Only ten bucks in his wallet, though? That was tragic. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't had his own wallet on him when he's died the first time-- wherever it was, it certainly wasn't in Norfinbury, a fact that he'd already kicked himself for. ]

[jumpthegun]

All truth?

[Yeah, John's having trouble buying that.]

What's the most embarrassing thing you can remember happening to yourself?

[24karat]

[ For a long moment, Vasquez stares down at the tablet in complete and utter disappointment. He's almost painfully unimpressed, and he pinches the bridge of his nose with a frustrated sigh-- he should've just stayed off the network until his death price wore off, but it's too late to back out, and he's definitely wishing he would've taken his own advice. ]

well gee you picked a winner of a question there
thanks for cuttin right to the chase buddy, i'll remember this one
probably the time some photos of me started circulating around the office, except it was before the hair implants and general image makeover i got a while back. you wanna have a fun time, try getting people to shut up about that kinda thing in corporate hell
it took a few weeks.

and to be completely serious i think i owe you a snowball to the face now? is that how this works here
do we do that or no. still not 100% clear on how we're supposed to resolve shit.

[jumpthegun]

[Well, that is pretty embarrassing, and also plausible, which is the more intriguing point here. Either this bloke is covering up something far worse, or he's telling the truth.]

Reason #643 not to work a corporate job, mate. You must be good if you managed to get past that.

And I'm pretty sure we resolve things with not bothering with one another. You can just disconnect. You know that, right?

[24karat]

yeah
i'm pretty damn good
[ Of course, this entirely depends on who you ask, but hey, he believes it. ]

that implies i'm better than throwing snowballs at people and let me tell you, i am not. [ Even he can't argue with that one. ] whatever, though. don't even know where you are, so you're safe from your fate. for now.
and sure, disconnecting's always been on the table. but that just makes for a pretty shitty way to pass the time, y'know? if you don't bother with literally anybody here, you're gonna wind up talking to an actual wall instead. i've heard they're awful for conversation, although i'm sure there's a few people that are worse.

[jumpthegun]

Maybe forever. Unless you've seen my face around.

And I wouldn't knock walls. I hear most are pretty upstanding.