[network] @jwatson; Paranoia Strikes Deep [Night 246]

[jumpthegun]

Right. I just want to be clear given that obituary. I don't know you people. I've never met any of you. Yes, I've seen some of the logs and I've read through your guides, so don't bother telling me to do that. I don't know what the hell you're playing at or how you managed to get audio and video footage of me like that, but I'm not indulging you.

My name is Dr. John Watson. If you require medical advice, I can provide it. Otherwise, I'm a bit busy. Thank you.

Comments

private

[jumpthegun]

[He almost hangs up. Mostly out of spite. The man isn't wrong about a lot of it. But he's wrong about the limp. He has to be.]

Osteomyelitis. Right leg. It bloody well hurts. And I don't remember asking for a psychoanalysis.

[Granted, it shouldn't really be hurting at this point. He hadn't needed surgery, even if it was touch and go there, and he'd sorted out the actual problem with medication and care. That doesn't mean it's not real. It doesn't!]

private

[howdull]

That was acute, not chronic, and treated successfully with the standard medication.

[He's seen all those medical records.]

And it's not psychoanalysis, it's observation. It's obvious, just like it's obvious that you're using text because you're concerned that using audio will give away too much of your emotional state to people you don't trust, and that you fear more audio being "stolen" to mimic you. Utterly pointless, by the way.

private

[jumpthegun]

You realize I have very little reason to trust you, right? Could be a tactic. Pretend I've lost my memories, introduce a lover, friends. Get me to open up to them about the things I do remember. What are you after, Mr. Holmes? The other man with your last name said he was part of the government. Are you?

[Why is he still engaging with this arsehole? He's wrong. He's so wrong. But... a part of John is undeniably impressed. It's like his mind is being read. That's terrifying, but also impossible, which makes this intriguing.]

private

[howdull]

I didn't ask you to trust me.

[Though it does sting a little that John doesn't.]

And don't compare me to Mycroft again, we're thankfully nothing alike. Working for the government sounds interminably dull.

private

[jumpthegun]

[John snorts. Is this some kind of reverse psychology? The man is amusing, at least. John will give him that.]

Then contacting me to tell me not to die when multiple other people have was... what?

private

[howdull]

You're not stupid, you've no doubt seen our relationship through the lens of the tablet, and you have already decided not to believe it. Perfectly sound deduction, one I would make myself, there are ways of mocking up this information. So on that basis, I am not going to attempt to convince you of our friendship.

I will, however, ask you not to die as it distresses me. Think of it as a weak stomach or emotional issues or whatever other label that 'normal' people who are bothered by the deaths of others like to use. It doesn't particularly matter.

private

[jumpthegun]

And the great William Sherlock Scott Holmes is not normal. Not by any stretch. I saw Mycroft talking to some other bloke on the obituary page. He said you were the one shooting bullets at the little girl in the video he sent me. Have to say, gun hands in a pedo snuff film don't suit you.

private

[howdull]

"Pedo", John, really?

[The disappointed look is almost palpable through text.]

Regardless of the ages of any participants in that footage, did you see any sexual content or nudity? Using paedophilia as a way to demean something is cheap and far beneath you.

private

[jumpthegun]

[A part of him rankles at the fact the he does feel chastised.]

Sorry. I should have said low-budget bastardization of The Ring. Your make-up is very good in the clip, though. Doesn't look a thing like the other clips I've found of you.

[A pause before he adds.]

By the way, if you're meant to be my mate, then there's this Mary woman who's been talking to me. She's been hurt. Could probably do with a friend. Not sure where she is, but you might want to contact her.

[She'd hung up on him and John's at a loss for what to do with his conflicted feelings about her.]

private

[howdull]

Hurt how?

[Literally none of the rest of what they were talking about matters at all. If Mary is hurt, then he needs to find her, and Mycroft coming to get him be damned.]

private

[jumpthegun]

Cut across her forehead. Honestly, it looked like someone was finding new uses for a scalpel. Cut wasn't jagged, just a clean line. Definitely some sort of blade. By the placement, I'm guessing it wasn't an accident.

private

[howdull]

[He tamps down panic, Mary isn't dead and John would be much more concerned if the wound looked life threatening. Even if he doesn't remember her, she's still a person and he's still a doctor, he wouldn't be so cavalier with her life. It must be superficial, she must have dispatched whoever attempted to hurt her.]

I'll be in touch with her. Goodbye, John.

[And he's gone. Concerned though he is with John, it's Mary that's the hurt one.]