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snowblindrpg2017-03-11 11:04 pm
snowblindmods) wrote in snowblindrpg2017-03-11 11:04 pm
Entry tags:
- !event,
- alfie solomons (peaky blinders),
- alphonse elric (fullmetal alchemist),
- america (hetalia),
- brian thomas (marble hornets),
- bucky barnes (mcu),
- castiel (supernatural),
- cat-eyed boy (cat-eyed boy),
- davesprite (homestuck),
- england (hetalia),
- enoch (el shaddai),
- franken stein (soul eater),
- ginger hale (original),
- gregory house (house md),
- harry hart (kingsman),
- hugo vasquez (borderlands),
- jim hawkins (treasure planet),
- john watson (bbc sherlock),
- joker (dc),
- karkat vantas (homestuck),
- kunsel (final fantasy vii),
- leonard church (red vs blue),
- quark (zero escape),
- sheena fujibayashi (tales of symphonia),
- sherlock holmes (bbc sherlock),
- stephanie brown (dc),
- steve rogers (mcu),
- sylar (heroes),
- the cat (tortall universe),
- vanitas (kingdom hearts),
- zack fair (final fantasy vii),
- zell dincht (final fantasy viii)
[network] Event: Long & Lost [NIGHT 217]
it's been so long between the words we spoke
will you be there up on the shore, I hope
[Make sure to note any specific warnings in your subject lines!]
will you be there up on the shore, I hope
[Make sure to note any specific warnings in your subject lines!]
no subject
clint called me ds but hes gone
house calls me tang but youre nothing like house
if you want to give me something just dont base it on my name
because that just leads into identity issues and i dont want to deal with that with a stranger
[Jesus fuck he is tired already of dropping admissions like that everywhere. He'd keep it a lot more quiet normally.]
anyway i cant fly here
i used to but now all i can do is float a couple inches off the ground and thats it
i can make bird noises though
and i used a sword not a crowbar though right now ive got neither
the thing about animals is that this place is just really fucking dangerous
its cold you know
and theres not much actual food designed for them around
all ive got in my bag right now is convenience store stuff so imagine trying to feed a dog or a hyena or whatever
apart from the cat here the animals ive known keep dying
dug did
lucky did
and i think the cat has only survived because hes somehow a constellation that has been alive for basically forever and knew a bunch of gods in his world
hes not really the regular kind
even normal people here die way too often for comfort
this is my fourth time i revived from here
not everyone comes back
no subject
i should prolly go lookin for food, huh? it wasn't the most pressin thing on my mind when i got here, i kinda freaked out a lil and ran. im sry that youve had to see so many pets die, thats real sad. and im even sorrier that youve been dyin, kiddo. thats real rough, on the brain and on the heart. it ain't fair that anyone has gotta go through that.
even a magical cat dont deserve to be here. hell, i dont think anyone does
what kinda bird noises do ya make
no subject
[Then it's back to text.]
bam
bird noises
enjoy
but lets move on from all the dying
i feel crap enough about that without talking about it
like worrying im just going to die again or feeling like those animals dying was my fault
[...]
and saying things i dont want to spit out either
jesus
point is being here sucks ass and i wouldnt wish it on anyone
have you been linked the guides and maps and stuff yet
you seem nicer than the joker so im going to assume youre a better person than he is
and i like helping people
no subject
yeah, i sure have! steph and studly an al have been rly helpful! thank u though
im not really a good person haha i cheat and lie and steal to get what i want and i aint afraid to use people who care about me.
[...ah, shit.]
...guess no one has a filter tonight.
no subject
maybe i should stop talking to you
last criminal type guy i tried to make friends with wound up taking advantage of this other dude in a pretty awful way
and i dont want to deal with that kind of thing
[It's one thing if she admits it, but it doesn't absolve his wariness.]
no subject
sorry abt the last guy tho sounds like hes a real dick
im in recovery! i mean, im always in recovery! but hey, im tryin, and i aint even killed anyone yet
good on ya to be wary, tho!
[he seems like a good kid!]
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you mean house
jesus look hes a jackass but he doesnt deserve to get murdered
hes died way too many times as it is
and i dont want to talk to someone who thinks threatening or committing murder is ok in the first place
do you have any idea how many times people die around here just from survival hazards
too many of them havent come back
the morgues have shelves with their bodies stored in them
it is morbid as shit and i hate that im stuck in this one until morning
no subject
yeah hes a jackass, but i aint actually gonna kill someone just for that
an he just did somethin real nice for me, so consider it void
if u dont wanna talk to me anymore i understand but u gotta be talkin to someone, davesprite
bc ur freaking out and you dont deserve 2 be stuck alone in a morgue until morning
no subject
if you actually want to recover and arent lying to me then thats a pretty crucial step right there
ive got other people to talk to and ive been through worse than spending a night in the morgue so dont worry about me
no subject
i can promise that i aint lying to you, though. i promised someone real important to me that ill get better
this maybe isnt the best place to do it, but maybe i can still try
no subject
sometimes at the same time
that and questioning reality but its going easy on me right now so im gonna leave that topic right where it is
im going to hold you to that promise harley
(cw: discussion of mental illness, drug mention)
i dunno if id be able to tell if it was this place or me tbh
it probably doesnt matter tho
i wont kill studly. promise
n if he makes good on his word 2 get me meds somehow ill even thank him
deal?
cw: discussion of unreality and unintentional suicide
but nah trust me this place messes with you
have you heard about mn poisoning
plus theres shit like us being dragged around to other places without remembering how we got there
or seeing things that arent real
weird dreams too
one time this static happened that just straight up made people feel like they were the only real one around
i wound up wandering out into the snow and froze to death because i was convinced i was dying already and all the static and people i thought were fake were glitches from my code degrading
turns out it doesnt actually work like that when i die
[A pause.]
i didnt want to say that but apparently ive got no goddamn choice right now
cw: discussion of unreality, mental illness
oh good that sounds perfect for my grasp on reality i love having to question that even more than the occasional psychosis leads me to
this place aint good.
yeah. tonight is oversharin night
im. so scared im gonna wind up back with mistah j
especially if this place messes with reality as much as yr sayin
aint gonna be good for my chances
fuck
im gonna try to keep my promise
i swear
no subject
this place is just one endless train ride taking us from one shitty station to the next
like i kind of want to ask about you and the joker but i dont want to accidentally force you to tell more than you want
i dont even know why this is happening right now
no subject
ya can feel free to ask, kid, its not like everyone doesnt know our business, anyway
i dont care, really. whaddaya wanna know?
[she figures she owes him for making him upset earlier.]
no subject
so why dont you want to go back
i know him being the way he is cant be good for recovery if you want to quit the criminal thing but it sounds like theres something more going on
(cw: partner abuse, mental illness)
before i met him i was a psychiatrist
i became his psychiatrist, and he
i fell in love
because im an idiot, haha
hes tried 2 kill me a few times but thats not that big a deal
hes rough w me but i can handle that it aint that much of a problem
but the effect that he has on me is terrifyin
i stop carin abt anyone cept for him
i hurt people
even people i care about
he aint good for me
(cw: partner abuse)
it is the biggest deal
i dont know how to do romance real well but i can tell you right now you dont fucking try to kill your girlfriend
being rough with you isnt good either
or the rest
you deserve better than that harley
like being a psychiatrist is an important job you know
my sister was real into that stuff in this kind of annoying armchair way
but she still actually cared about us and everything
and im going to hazard a guess that you wanted to help people with that too
so its not fair that he could take you away from that or make you stop caring about people
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
i know puddin better than anyone and i aint scared of him
im mad a lot of the time about what he did 2 my life
and about what ive done when im with him
its complicated i guess is what im sayin
i tried 2 kill him once but all he had to do was say he missed me and then i was just. back in love with him again
so, it's my fault for bein like this. i willingly choose him, every single time, over anyone else
because im a fucked up person
a bad person
thanks for tryin to cheer me up, tho
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
im not going to say youre 100% innocent of everything
and im not an expert in any of this to begin with
but it sounds to me like hes messed with you so bad he just got his hooks into you and now all he has to do is tug you back in because you dont know how to pull them out yourself
its probably a lot harder when its hooks in your heart instead of the physical kind
normal hooks you can see and touch and know where they are
mental ones are invisible
but bullshit youre not scared of him
you just told me earlier youre scared youre going to go back
that means you dont want what he does to you and its not as simple as youre trying to say it is now
Re: (cw: partner abuse, mental health)
puddin is complicated
and so am i
but ya dont gotta be an expert to know its fucked up. im fucked up. i get that
but he aint
if i didnt keep goin back i wouldnt be in trouble, or hurt like this.
yeah maybe hes got hooks in me, or some sorta hold over me
but i have one over him, too
and no matter what i just keep on goin back
so
if anythin happens here n i go back to him
i probably deserve it haha
ill have broken the promise nyway
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
gonna disagree still
hes mega fucked up in a way worse than you have to be
youve got some sense of regret while hes the one dragging you into it
im not going to argue more about it being complicated because im not you
but i am saying it sounds like hes got your whole view of yourself pretty fucking skewed at the same time
you dont deserve to go back to him ok
if you ask me it sounds like you need some kind of help to keep you from going back
like a reminder maybe to tell you why its a bad idea
though you would have to be careful about that considering its him on the other side
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
(cw: partner abuse, mental health)
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