[network] @featherydouche; video; unsafe medical experiments for fun and profit; morning 190 [open]

[mrcreamsicles]

[No text today! Instead, the viewers of Norfinbury get a video showing a weird orange bird guy filmed from inside a house. In addition to the shades, behind which a faint orange glow is visible, he's got on the standard peacoat people receive here. It's the same violent shade of orange as the rest of him.]

Hey. A bunch of you already know by now, but the name's Davesprite, and I'm this thing called a sprite and I'm part crow.

[He caws demonstratively.]

But I'm posting this because House and I just did some experiments about the whole nonhuman thing yesterday. See, some people were positing that maybe I only look weird because of distorted perceptions and junk, so we wanted to test basically if I'm the way I should be or not.

Thing one, I've got a hole through the middle of my chest where my sword used to go, because sprites are weird. Don't worry about it. Watson told me how normal objects found here go right through anomalies, but stuff coated in rubble dust hits them. So he and Sherlock wanted me to try to stick some rubble in my sword hole. Spoilers, it worked.

Thing two, my blood's bright yellow like somebody cracked a glowstick open, and it doesn't look like a human's under a microscope. Since the admin said my bloodtype's been "adjusted", House wanted to inject some of it into himself to see if he could. And that worked too.

If you want to go and lecture us about how that was dangerous and stupid and we could have gotten ourselves killed: Yeah, I know, but too late. Sometimes you gotta be stupid to get science done. And now we've confirmed that looking nonhuman is still real and not just some illusion cast on our senses via the nanomachines, and that regular humans can accept "adjusted" blood with the right type.

Thing three's got nothing to do with the experiments, but House wanted me to share that he found an SD card back on day 183 with Andromeda and Winter talking some more. If you saw the post I made about the card I found a while back, the one where they were talking about the cult? It sounds like this one relates to that.

[Here at the end Davesprite links a few files. First are video recordings of him and House performing the experiments described above. His blood in the relevant experiment is indeed a yellow as he said and slightly luminescent. Along with this he includes a couple photos of his blood taken under a microscope. The blood cells aren't human or avian, but a shape that looks somewhere between both.]

[Next, he includes the audio file of Winter and Andromeda talking.]

(OOC: Replies may come from either Davesprite or House!)

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

please
be more pretentious
i bet you go to the opera, too
like a nice chianti with some fava beans?

hey
animal testing, bro

[peacemongering]

I do, yes. The Devils of Loudun is possibly my favourite, those most are excellent in their own way. Actually, I prefer Chateaux Margaux, and I admit that I never acquired much of a taste for fava beans.

[He can keep cranking up the pretentious!]

Many would argue that mankind is above the simple animals. You believe we are one in the same?

[rubikscomplex]

[Ugh. Ugh. At least the guy knows how to spar.]

i'm more a woodstock and monster truck rallies kinda guy
and i love fava beans

the majority of people are idiots
might as well be animals

[peacemongering]

That's probably because you are an uncultured heathen. Might I suggest changing from the fava bean to the kopi luwak? Overall a far superior bean.

[He's jesting. He could care less about high culture, but he knows how to play the game with in. A pair of sweatpants is the key to this man's soul.]

Animals remain that by the fact that we have been unable to verify that they have imagination and a preconception of their own mortality.

[rubikscomplex]

i'm not touching anything that came out of a civet's ass, bro
but you do you

i'm pretty sure you just described at least a third of the patients i see walk into the clinic
that vacant expression
the slack jaw

[peacemongering]

And that makes you even more an uncultured heathen. Most of the high-class only consume and enjoy products that come from the bottom half of most creatures.

Why are you a doctor if you consider your patients so close to animals? Did you secretly want to be a veterinarian but your parents wouldn't let you?

[rubikscomplex]

and here i thought it was you guys feeding all of us your crap

i secretly wanted to treat illnesses
patients happen to be a vessel

[peacemongering]

Well, shit does roll downhill now doesn't it? However, I prefer to spread truth as we know it wherever possible.

A shame really. I suppose your bedside manner is seven parts sarcasm and three parts investigative demanding.

[rubikscomplex]

why have manners at all?
i have a team for a reason
they play nice at the bedside
i get on with the work

[peacemongering]

I hope you at least give your team a Christmas bonus.

[rubikscomplex]

i'm an atheist
who cares about christmas?

[peacemongering]

Christmas has been a commercialized holiday anyway. You don't need religion to be able to fathom gift giving. Unless you are actually scrooge.

[rubikscomplex]

i prefer to be called "mcduck"

[peacemongering]

It seems unreasonable to jump head-long into a vault full of gold coins and not sustain damage.

[rubikscomplex]

i've perfected the dive technique after a few broken bones
pain is the best teacher, right?

[peacemongering]

Pain is the evolutionary teacher, yes. We all became the people we are now because of it.

[rubikscomplex]

that's kinda grim, gramps
aren't you supposed to say we're shaped by all our experiences
painful and pleasurable

[peacemongering]

And most experiences involve pain of some kind, even if it is simply hardship and hard work. There is no gain without pain.

Most people pursue pleasure, but tell me doctor, how often is that destructive?

[rubikscomplex]

we're getting philosophical now?
that's outside my pay grade, dude
or are you taking a swipe at the addict thing?

[peacemongering]

Well if it is beyond your expertise, I rescind the question.

[rubikscomplex]

pay grade
not expertise
you wanna play that game
tell me something interesting about yourself
something you haven't told anyone else here

[peacemongering]

I don't consider any of this a game.

[Unless one counted real-life 3D chess a game...]

And why should I do that? Besides, I only give out real life heart-felt details of my life in person, doctor. The give and take is better that way.

[rubikscomplex]

yes, you do

[House isn't sure what they're playing, yet, but he's getting the sense of a game that he would play.]

and my charming conversation didn't woo you?
aww, snaps!
i don't do in-person consults when i can avoid them
guess we're doomed to never really get to know each other
such a tragedy

[peacemongering]

That's quite the accusation. Would you care to back it up with facts?

[Very well. Let's play a game, Doctor.]

Such a shame. I envisioned you as such a lady's man who had as much in the way of looks as he did in engaging gratifying conversational wit and humour. I suppose this interplay here will be as far as we go.

[rubikscomplex]

there are three types of people who engage with me over the network instead of hanging up or yelling at me and hanging up:

a. idiots
b. overly polite assholes who don't know how to tell someone to fuck off
c. people with an agenda

you're not an idiot
you're not that polite or you wouldn't make jokes about shit
you already said you were trying to see if i was any use
now, that last one could've been sarcasm
but it's legit
it also means you're playing a game

what were you doing back home?
i saw you tell watson and solomons you're military
and now you're some government bureaucrat?
you want to know everyone's skills so you can see how to best use us
should i call you chessmaster pierce?

and see
that sorta thing is just suspicious
but i'm an asshole who's suspicious of everyone
so lucky you
no one's gonna care what i think here
all you have to do is play possum
just the old bro trying to help everyone out
not sure what you've got planned beyond that
but you've got something planned
hope it's interesting, at least