[network] @featherydouche; video; unsafe medical experiments for fun and profit; morning 190 [open]

[mrcreamsicles]

[No text today! Instead, the viewers of Norfinbury get a video showing a weird orange bird guy filmed from inside a house. In addition to the shades, behind which a faint orange glow is visible, he's got on the standard peacoat people receive here. It's the same violent shade of orange as the rest of him.]

Hey. A bunch of you already know by now, but the name's Davesprite, and I'm this thing called a sprite and I'm part crow.

[He caws demonstratively.]

But I'm posting this because House and I just did some experiments about the whole nonhuman thing yesterday. See, some people were positing that maybe I only look weird because of distorted perceptions and junk, so we wanted to test basically if I'm the way I should be or not.

Thing one, I've got a hole through the middle of my chest where my sword used to go, because sprites are weird. Don't worry about it. Watson told me how normal objects found here go right through anomalies, but stuff coated in rubble dust hits them. So he and Sherlock wanted me to try to stick some rubble in my sword hole. Spoilers, it worked.

Thing two, my blood's bright yellow like somebody cracked a glowstick open, and it doesn't look like a human's under a microscope. Since the admin said my bloodtype's been "adjusted", House wanted to inject some of it into himself to see if he could. And that worked too.

If you want to go and lecture us about how that was dangerous and stupid and we could have gotten ourselves killed: Yeah, I know, but too late. Sometimes you gotta be stupid to get science done. And now we've confirmed that looking nonhuman is still real and not just some illusion cast on our senses via the nanomachines, and that regular humans can accept "adjusted" blood with the right type.

Thing three's got nothing to do with the experiments, but House wanted me to share that he found an SD card back on day 183 with Andromeda and Winter talking some more. If you saw the post I made about the card I found a while back, the one where they were talking about the cult? It sounds like this one relates to that.

[Here at the end Davesprite links a few files. First are video recordings of him and House performing the experiments described above. His blood in the relevant experiment is indeed a yellow as he said and slightly luminescent. Along with this he includes a couple photos of his blood taken under a microscope. The blood cells aren't human or avian, but a shape that looks somewhere between both.]

[Next, he includes the audio file of Winter and Andromeda talking.]

(OOC: Replies may come from either Davesprite or House!)

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

i'm not touching anything that came out of a civet's ass, bro
but you do you

i'm pretty sure you just described at least a third of the patients i see walk into the clinic
that vacant expression
the slack jaw

[peacemongering]

And that makes you even more an uncultured heathen. Most of the high-class only consume and enjoy products that come from the bottom half of most creatures.

Why are you a doctor if you consider your patients so close to animals? Did you secretly want to be a veterinarian but your parents wouldn't let you?

[rubikscomplex]

and here i thought it was you guys feeding all of us your crap

i secretly wanted to treat illnesses
patients happen to be a vessel

[peacemongering]

Well, shit does roll downhill now doesn't it? However, I prefer to spread truth as we know it wherever possible.

A shame really. I suppose your bedside manner is seven parts sarcasm and three parts investigative demanding.

[rubikscomplex]

why have manners at all?
i have a team for a reason
they play nice at the bedside
i get on with the work

[peacemongering]

I hope you at least give your team a Christmas bonus.

[rubikscomplex]

i'm an atheist
who cares about christmas?

[peacemongering]

Christmas has been a commercialized holiday anyway. You don't need religion to be able to fathom gift giving. Unless you are actually scrooge.

[rubikscomplex]

i prefer to be called "mcduck"

[peacemongering]

It seems unreasonable to jump head-long into a vault full of gold coins and not sustain damage.

[rubikscomplex]

i've perfected the dive technique after a few broken bones
pain is the best teacher, right?

[peacemongering]

Pain is the evolutionary teacher, yes. We all became the people we are now because of it.

[rubikscomplex]

that's kinda grim, gramps
aren't you supposed to say we're shaped by all our experiences
painful and pleasurable

[peacemongering]

And most experiences involve pain of some kind, even if it is simply hardship and hard work. There is no gain without pain.

Most people pursue pleasure, but tell me doctor, how often is that destructive?

[rubikscomplex]

we're getting philosophical now?
that's outside my pay grade, dude
or are you taking a swipe at the addict thing?

[peacemongering]

Well if it is beyond your expertise, I rescind the question.

[rubikscomplex]

pay grade
not expertise
you wanna play that game
tell me something interesting about yourself
something you haven't told anyone else here

[peacemongering]

I don't consider any of this a game.

[Unless one counted real-life 3D chess a game...]

And why should I do that? Besides, I only give out real life heart-felt details of my life in person, doctor. The give and take is better that way.

[rubikscomplex]

yes, you do

[House isn't sure what they're playing, yet, but he's getting the sense of a game that he would play.]

and my charming conversation didn't woo you?
aww, snaps!
i don't do in-person consults when i can avoid them
guess we're doomed to never really get to know each other
such a tragedy

[peacemongering]

That's quite the accusation. Would you care to back it up with facts?

[Very well. Let's play a game, Doctor.]

Such a shame. I envisioned you as such a lady's man who had as much in the way of looks as he did in engaging gratifying conversational wit and humour. I suppose this interplay here will be as far as we go.

[rubikscomplex]

there are three types of people who engage with me over the network instead of hanging up or yelling at me and hanging up:

a. idiots
b. overly polite assholes who don't know how to tell someone to fuck off
c. people with an agenda

you're not an idiot
you're not that polite or you wouldn't make jokes about shit
you already said you were trying to see if i was any use
now, that last one could've been sarcasm
but it's legit
it also means you're playing a game

what were you doing back home?
i saw you tell watson and solomons you're military
and now you're some government bureaucrat?
you want to know everyone's skills so you can see how to best use us
should i call you chessmaster pierce?

and see
that sorta thing is just suspicious
but i'm an asshole who's suspicious of everyone
so lucky you
no one's gonna care what i think here
all you have to do is play possum
just the old bro trying to help everyone out
not sure what you've got planned beyond that
but you've got something planned
hope it's interesting, at least

[peacemongering]

[Pierce stares at this reply for a long time, considering many an option on replies, deciding the path he wanted to take. So few were good at psychoanalysis based on few details after all, and he could admit that this man now had some of his respect. That is a rare thing to earn so quickly.]

Your psychoanalysis is very intriguing, especially based on so few details, and with the give and take of sarcasm that I've been reading in our replies to one another. However, there is a fault in your logic: everyone has an agenda, but I'm positive you know that.

I also am suspecting you have trust issues, that your flippant attitude is a sign of defense mechanisms to stop people from getting close to you. Your comment in particular about patients just happening to be carriers of disease indicates to me that you're brilliant, but you can't engage on a similar level with other people. Probably a recluse socially. Probably only have a handful of friends, I'm guessing.

You are more interested in solving the puzzle than anyone involved in it. Your own agenda seems to involve self-destructive behaviour, taking unnecessary risks for the value of information. I doubt you play well with others in the sandbox; which of your parents was detrimental to your healthy emotional development?

Close? Far off base? I suspect you'll denial anything and all things close to a truth.

And since we are all being so honest with each other, when I arrived here, something of mine was taken. I intend to get it back. That is my agenda, Doctor.

[rubikscomplex]

[House bristles at how on-point much of that is. He's going to try to avoid giving Pierce more to work with, though. Actively denying individual items will just point the man in a direction.]

i deny anything and all things, mr. freud
especially the truthful things
keep 'em guessing and watch 'em dance
that's you're philosophy, too, right?

you're right, though
everyone has an agenda
some people have a more interesting agenda than others

everyone had their things stolen when they got here
if you're fixated on what was taken
that must mean it was super special
not sentimental
you don't seem like a guy for sentiment
something useful
something dangerous?
something you think could help you get out of here?

[peacemongering]

[Ah, now they were playing a good game of verbal tennis. How he had missed this. It was a shame it was public or he might have hit home a few serves harder.]

Well, in the time I was raised, dancing was a very important social necessity. It was how I met my wife after all. Swept her literally and figuratively off of her feet. Also, I don't see you as a man who likes the guessing games unless it is you forcing everyone else to play your game of I, Spy.

'Interesting'. You out yourself again. You're here to watch people react, to see who is a puzzle you can pick apart and solve for your own intellectual curiosity. I don't suppose any puzzle is left unfinished?

On this particular item, I am truly invested and sentimental about. We have been together a very long time, this item and I. And getting out of here is less my agenda and more assisting others in doing so.

[rubikscomplex]

[Okay, this guy is annoying, but he's fun. Boredom is the enemy, after all, and Pierce is anything but that, now that they're actually engaging instead of sniping. House mentally reviews their conversation and the conversations he's skimmed that have Pierce in them. He just skips past the I, Spy comment.]

you know that story of bach and his son?
guy was on his deathbed and the kid was playing scales on the piano nearby
didn't play the final note and bach leaps up to hit it
i don't like an unfinished melody
it's not clean

as for your item
it's nothing medical
not a clothing item
at least not a useful cold-weather clothing item
you don't get invested in clothing or tools, either
not unless the tool is something you've been working to improve
something you built or inherited and improved on
it's something you had with you or nearby often enough to feel robbed
a project
a machine?
i'd guess a car or a bike
but guys who're in love with their little hot rod or harley don't call them "items"
"we" is an interesting term
all of your phrasing's interesting there

[House is still working out why and what it actually means, though. Definitely some sort of project. And damn Pierce if he isn't making this just intriguing enough to hold the doctor's full attention. He wants to know, even if the other man isn't going to admit to anything.

Maybe it's some sort of robot? Hand-built. But there's still the 'this item' phrasing. It's almost intentionally deceptive. Pierce is picking his words carefully, that much is clear.]