[log] fuck [closed]

[devoutish]

Characters: Alfie Solomons, Emily Kaldwin, Gregory House, John Watson, Royce Melborn, Tifa Lockhart
Location: building 120 and building 101
Date: evening of 190 to morning of 192
Summary: when you see "House" and "Royce" in the same log you know it's gonna be a party
Warnings: ear removal

Catch-all for EVERYTHING - death, murder, torture, yelling, etc. Top-level and tag as you see fit.

Comments

[devoutish]

[He closes his eyes.]

Might be too late to not be ruined.

[jumpthegun]

You might still forget it all, like it never happened. Just back to your life. No interruption. [Losing his memories is a horrifying prospect for John, but he knows it might bring Alfie some comfort.]

Even if you remember, right, you make yourself forget the bad parts, and just hold onto the good.

[devoutish]

Impossible. I don't work like that, all rosy-cheeked and endlessly optimistic.

[jumpthegun]

No. You're a pragmatist, Alfie. That means you do what you need to do to move on. You compartmentalize, you push certain things aside, and you see to your people and your life. You don't have to do it because you're an optimist. You'll do it because that's the way it needs to be.

[devoutish]

And if looking forward, I cannot see a way that I could possibly do that? I'm a realist too, John. I know myself.

[jumpthegun]

Then you do what you can right now, in this moment, in the days ahead, to change what you see when you look forward. Until it's something you can see a way you could do that.

[devoutish]

You know me well.

[Better than he would have guessed, actually.]

You know this isn't me.

[jumpthegun]

What is going on, Alfie? MN Poisoning? More than just sickness? Steph thinks depression might be another symptom. If it is that, my blood will cure it, at least for a little while. Give you some sort of relief.

[devoutish]

Yeah, but it's more than that. It's coming from outside of me.

[jumpthegun]

[John's brow furrows.]

How d'you mean? Like it's something the-

[John breaks off, and his own eyes move to Alfie's where they're still glowing softly.]

Alfie, what have I missed on the network since last night?

[devoutish]

On the network? Nothing.

[Then he corrects himself:]

No-- some of us have been hearing music. House talked a bit about that.

[Alfie hadn't looked at much of it, which is uncharacteristic.]

[jumpthegun]

What kind of music? Like just in your head?

[devoutish]

Singing. I'm not hearing it now.

[jumpthegun]

[And he mentioned House talking about it, other people.]

I need to find a tablet.

[Except Alfie is looking rather distressed.]

You don't have to tell me any more about it. But if this is something the Admin or the Prophet is doing, then you need to take a rain check on making any big, important decisions, yeah?

[devoutish]

I can't make big, important decisions here.

[jumpthegun]

But you're deciding you don't want kids? That's what I'm saying, mate. Just wait. Focus on the little, important decisions you've got to make here right now until this passes.

[devoutish]

I'm telling you, it doesn't fucking matter what I decide here. I've decided I don't want kids. Yeah. But if I change my mind later, if I survive, no harm done.

[jumpthegun]

It matters right now because it's hurting you right now, Alfie. There's harm being done.

[devoutish]

How? How, exactly am I doing harm to myself and my future, saying something like this in a place where my future does not fucking matter and might as well not exist?

[jumpthegun]

You have to live in the present, Alfie. Not the future. If you're suffering and feeling all this now and making decisions like that when you can't be sure if you're even in your right mind, that'll take it's toll on you now.

[devoutish]

It's survivable, John.

[jumpthegun]

I don't want you to just survive, if there's something I can do to help it.

[devoutish]

You can't tell me that you're happy and hopeful here.

[jumpthegun]

I'm happy sometimes and I have hope, even when it goes away for a bit. I've got mates to help in bringing it back, yeah?

[devoutish]

-- Let's discuss happier things, eh?

[He's going to make a concerted effort to keep his brain from circling back to the bad again.]