[network] @captaininvincible; public survey; Evening 64 [open] [language warning]

[notaquaman]

AUDIO

[This post appears on the network with no preamble and no context. Well, the context isn't terribly hard to figure out, especially for anyone who's already dealt with Nathan since his arrival two mornings past. Seems like this guy just really likes to find reasons to listen to himself talk.]

What would you consider better to use as a lubricant:

A: Soap
or
B: Gel

I'm leaning toward the gel on account of its soothing aloe vera ingredients. But they do say that cleanliness and close to godliness, so one can't rule out the soap. Thoughts? Opinions? I'm asking for a friend.

[A hesitation, and then he decides to ask another question.]

While we're at it, any MacGyver enthusiasts out there with suggestions for the best way to turn baby clothes into something actually useful to keep warm with? I was thinking some sort of cap, but this really isn't cutting it.

Comments

[rattlingthestars]

It's got to be fifty below out there. You're going to freeze it off.

[ Why yes, Jim is embarrassed, and sounds it judging by the slight squeak in his voice. Moving on, Nathan. ]

Tie the arms together and make a scarf, maybe. I found a sewing kit in one of the houses but it'd take forever to make a hat.

[notaquaman]

Well I'm not going to take a big wank outside, Jesus! What do you take me for? An amateur at masturbation?

[Oh, no. That baby does get quite the workout. But...speaking of babies. Knocking one out right next to a baby's crib really does make for a fantastic mood killer. Especially considering he keeps swearing he hears some kid calling for help somewhere down below where he can't get through the ruins. Place is already getting to him. He'll take that topic change now.]

A scarf...hey, yeah! Good one, kid.

[rattlingthestars]

It's Jim. You don't exactly sound that much older than I am. [ Either in voice or maturity level, tbh. Jim's just not sure why anyone would want to be taking off their pants, even inside one of these houses. Bathing is bad enough. ]

[notaquaman]

Maybe not, but it doesn't exactly sound like you're embracing your manhood.

[Take that as literally as you'd like, Jim.]

[rattlingthestars]

Why are you worried about my manhood.

[notaquaman]

I'm not worried, you should be worried! Blue balls are a real problem! Ask a doctor, they can tell you!

[rattlingthestars]

[ Number of doctors in Snowhell that Jim would go to with sensitive questions: 0. Actually, expand that number to include number of doctors in the universe, because no. ]

...I don't think that's true.

[notaquaman]

Are you sure? Because you know, if you're not sure and you're wrong you could lose them for good.

[A real positive attitude is exactly what they all need right now.]

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim is kind of abruptly aware that he's talking about this in a room full of people.

Yes, he certainly is. ]

-I guess that's up to you if you want to freeze, buddy. Good luck with that.

[ Just going to bury himself in couch cushions now. ]

[notaquaman]

Sure thing! And good luck to you with your blue balls!

[What a fun conversation. Looks like Nathan made a friend.]