[Network] @hotstud_xxx; video | Day 52, evening [open]

[rubikscomplex]

[The video feed will show the inside of a tool shed where a small, flying robot is moving around in the dim light cast by the tablet.]

Hey, Trinity! Wibblelips! Look what I found. It flies, it screams, it's alive. It also happens to be the reason I'm stuck in a shed for the night. Now, I got a screwdriver.

[The screwdriver is held up into view in a pink-gloved hand.]

And I got a hammer.

[The screwdriver is set down and the hammer is picked up to show.]

It's a hammer of justice. It's a hammer of warning. And it's going to be the hammer I take to that freaking thing unless you tell me how to get it to stop screaming in my face. Hiro, you needed some robot parts, right? Might be able to get you some.

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[rubikscomplex]

[ House keeps the videofeed pointed toward Dumpy because he doesn't do video for a reason with these people. ]

You suck at this. If that thing's screaming by the time I go to sleep, know that he'll be really brave again when I rip out his wiring. For a good cause. Don't worry. I know a guy who knows robots. He can help me put Dumpty back together again.

[phaseshifter]

Sorry, Doctor...

[ She can't do it. She can't say "doctor hotstud" out loud. SHE JUST CAN'T. ]

...um, doctor. Dumpy doesn't actually have a way to permanently stop the screaming. But I did the next best thing and fully enabled his self-preservation subroutines!

As far as his current settings go, he's programmed to self-destruct at any sign of you trying to cause him any deliberate harm. So you... might want to reconsider your stance on ripping him up, friend. He might be small, but he's a war drone. They're built for suicide missions. Blowing up in people's faces is something they're very good at.

[ This is naturally all complete bullshit. Unfortunately, Angel is a very convincing liar. ]

[rubikscomplex]

[ House's face isn't showing for good reason. That explanation gives him pause. ]

So, what I'm hearing is that I can use this asshole as a bomb if a monster comes after me. [ He can make this work. ] Righteous! Thanks, Trin. That was actually helpful. I was planning on shoving him into a vent, too. No harm meant, of course. Just a little exploration.

You wanna explore, right, buddy? [ Dumpy screams. ] He sounds giddy with excitement.

[phaseshifter]

Um, I think you missed an important part of what I said? His self-destruct protocol is centred solely on you. If you could manipulate the way it engages, don't you think he would have exploded when he - when whatever it was took him?

[Raising her voice:] Dumpy, don't be afraid to clock him on the head if he tries to make you do anything.

[rubikscomplex]

[ It's going to be like that, is it? ]

Well, that's a stupid command limitation. Why didn't you guys activate it when he was getting chewed up?

[ Just going to go ahead and contact Hiro privately, then. If the kid can reprogram this thing for him, that ought to do the trick. ]

[phaseshifter]

Because it takes so long to say, because we were upset, and because the tablet cut off pretty quickly after he was put inside that... thing.

I, um - I can tell you how I made him stop screaming at me? But you're not going to like it.

[rubikscomplex]

Did you say please and pet his head?

[phaseshifter]

Worse.

I gave him a hug.

You could, um, try saying please? But I wouldn't pet him, he might interpret it as an act of aggression.

[rubikscomplex]

If I hug that thing, it will be with a blanket and packing tape, kid. How about playing with him? I'm thinking lacrosse. He looks about the right size for standing in for the ball. That's totally non-aggressive.

[phaseshifter]

I don't know what lacrosse is, but I'm pretty sure that if you use Dumpy like a ball that's going to at least get you a minor concussion when he bonks your head. Is it really that difficult for you to ask him nicely to stop?

[rubikscomplex]

It would be physically painful.

[ And he doesn't want to give her the satisfaction. ]

[phaseshifter]

Mmmhmm. A lot like something exploding in your face.

[rubikscomplex]

Worse than that. It would be like ripping out my heart. Literally. We all know you're doing it metaphorically each time I hit on you and you reject me.

[phaseshifter]

[ The flattest stare. ]

I would really, really appreciate it if you would find someone else to use as your cover for your feelings about Doctor Epps. Anyone else.

[rubikscomplex]

My feelings for... What are you talking about?

[ Achievement unlocked? House sounds genuinely confused. He's all for non sequiturs to shift a conversation, but that's so far out of left field, it's not even in the ballpark. ]

[phaseshifter]

Doctor Epps. Clayton. Sh-shoot, should I have made this private? It's just that - that, um - you're not subtle.

Not at all.

Sorry.

[rubikscomplex]

You think I have a crush on Epps...

[ There's silence for a few seconds, then a burst of very, very unkind laughter. ]

Well, now, this I gotta hear. All right, Trin. Tell me why you think that. Make it good. Lay out the evidence. I wanna make sure we've got everything on the table.

[phaseshifter]

Well, you bring him up an awful lot. And you seem to have a sort of - the whole rivalry thing you have going on, you know? All very 'please notice me.' And you spoke about him with such love when you were talking about his time with Jane! It was plain to see how much you were pining for him.

[ Oh, and Angel can't help but wonder if that's why Dr. Hotforclayton is so mean to her? Did he see Clayton flirting?

IT ALL MAKES SENSE. ]

voice - @claytonator hello don't mind me

[dr_unconscious]

[...Okay, he can't resist.]

It's true. The whole time he was travelin' with me an' I couldn't have a moment to myself. Man's awful determined--jus' a lil' shy in public, y'know?

[WINK WONK]

@Mnemosyne; voice

[bookofnope]

[See, this is what happens when he ends up owing people favours...]

I can confirm this. That night at the shed will never be purged from my suffering mind.

[phaseshifter]

...Oh, dear. He does strike me as, um, the - the persistent type.

@Spoiler ; voice

[spoileralert]

That actually explains a lot of questions I've had about Dr. Hot Stud.

[phaseshifter]

You suspected, too?

Add it to your information document!

[rubikscomplex]

God, my secret's out. Now what am I going to do? Damn it, Spoiler. Let a guy have his secrets.

[spoileralert]

You have plenty of secrets, doc. Heck, I'm even keeping some for you.

[ Just the one, but she does like sounding scary. ]