[network] @hotstud_xxx; Day 314; audio [open] (cw: there may be graphic discussion of illness)

[rubikscomplex]

[This is Christmas. House's idea of Christmas, anyway. Sudden onset of deadly illnesses with disjointed and impossible progression of symptoms, and him not affected? Christmas! Someone out there loves him. Granted, he might not be able to help anyone get better and that's lame, but answers. Answers are something he is particularly prepared to provide. House is also curious if there's some psychosomatic effect at work here that might let him influence people. He goes on audio for this, and someone sounds almost gleeful.]

Hello, sick people! Dr. House here. I am a board certified medical professional and tenured professor of diagnostics at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in Princeton, New Jersey. I have a double specialty infectious disease and nephrology and head the only Department of Diagnostic Medicine in the world in my universe.

All that said... tell me what ails you, Snowhell. Details required. Pics if you need them. Allow me to diagnose you. This service is free of charge for today only! Or however long this whole thing lasts. I'll even prescribe you meds if they're relevant to your condition. Step right up, then! Don't be shy.

It should go without saying, but I am limited to identification and diagnosis of Earth-based diseases. So if you've got a different name in your universe for the measels, I'm still calling them the measels.

((OOC: While House is an ace diagnostician, I am very much not. It would be helpful for me if you could indicate the disease or diseases your character is suffering from for the event or indicate that the constellation of symptoms was pulled at random/non-Earth-based.))

Comments

[thesystemisdown]

if this isnt real then my body isnt real
i dont care what happens to it
there isnt anything blissful about ignorance
but there isnt anything comforting about information anything when it's NOT REAL

[rubikscomplex]

define real

[thesystemisdown]

something that actually exists
not fiction
not a simulation

[rubikscomplex]

the simulation actually exists
your experiences in it are recorded in your memory
are those experiences and memories real?

[thesystemisdown]

let me answer with a question
the things you experience in dreams are recorded in your memory
does that mean dreams are real?

[rubikscomplex]

[Now this is getting interesting. And easier to deal with than the similar argument he got into with Will yesterday. That had been too personal. This isn't about specifics, just the general principle.]

the actions you take in them might not be
but here's another question for you
has a dream ever caused you to take action in whatever you consider to be the real world?

[thesystemisdown]

ahahahaha
sorry but that's not really a question that i can directly answer!
i can only say that yes that could hypothetically happen

[rubikscomplex]

[He reads over his own message and then hers again, tilting his head thoughtfully. Is she...? Hmm.]

so, you've never had dreams
or you've never interacted with the real world?
either way
that's super not-human, mon-mon

[thesystemisdown]

ah
well i suppose i don't really have any reason to hide the truth here
considering everything else that's strange
but you know what
i dont want to say it
and i get the feeling youll have more fun figuring it out on your own anyway
so i'll just say that as a matter of fact i am human

[rubikscomplex]

[Oh, yes. This just became an even more entertaining game.]

you're human now
have you always been?

[thesystemisdown]

[She's not enjoying the game much, herself, but screw it. She feels terrible and for all she knows this is just another story she's stuck in. Why not just go play along for now?]

depends on how you define human

[rubikscomplex]

[How does he define a human?]

the only extant species of the genus homo
typically composed of water, protein, connective tissue, lipids, hydroxylapatite, carbohydrates, and DNA
mammalian in nature with a typical 9-month gestational period before birth

i'm assuming that definition precludes you in some form or fashion
let's find out how
are you a biological organism?

[thesystemisdown]

assuming that what we're currently experiencing is real, yes.
if it's a simulation or not real in some other way, probably not.

[rubikscomplex]

[Artificial, then.]

was your previous body make of metal, plastic, or other construction materials?

[thesystemisdown]

nope!
I'm not a robot and I never have been.

[rubikscomplex]

the girl in the chinese room
you're an ai
a program
a teenage program
that's interesting
are you from some kind of game?
or educational software?

[thesystemisdown]

hmm
I guess that's accurate!
I never thought of myself like that because my situation is a bit more complicated though
but yes i am from a game

[rubikscomplex]

[More complicated.]

so, you're a strong ai?
were the creators intending you to start thinking outside your little electronic box, mon mon?

[thesystemisdown]

I don't know if he intended me to start thinking at all
I kind of assume that he didn't
But I have no idea how something like that could happen by accident

[rubikscomplex]

if you're in a videogame
i'm assuming there are multiple yous
maybe your creator wanted to take over the world
and you were the way to do it
could you access things outside the game?

[thesystemisdown]

ahaha wow
that would be a really terrible world conquest plan!
even if I was from a different kind of game it wouldn't exactly be effective

[She ignores the part about there being multiple hers. It's not like she hasn't thought about that before - was there a different Monika in every download of the game? Did they all go down the same futile path? If that's the case, did her epiphany even mean anything to begin with?

That kind of existential dread leads to dangerous thoughts, and she'd rather not deal with it. Especially not while sick.]

anyway i could look at stuff on the computer but couldn't directly access anything outside of the game files
and i was pretty bad at messing with those!

[rubikscomplex]

you're an ai and you're bad with code?

[Can you hear the judgement in that text, Monika?]

[thesystemisdown]

are you saying there's something strange about that?
it's not like coding is what I was created for

[DON'T YOU JUDGE HER]

[rubikscomplex]

[HE'LL JUDGE IF HE LIKES.]

that's like me saying breathing isn't what i was created for
it's a fundamental part of existence

[thesystemisdown]

well that's me told!
i'm sure you have a far deeper understanding of my own existence than i do
so please go ahead and judge me more