[network] @jwatson; text; Day 237 [open]

[jumpthegun]

[This is stupid. John's well aware it's stupid, but he can't help asking a question that's been gnawing away at him for more than a week now.]

How tall is everyone? I've been wondering, meeting with different people here, what the spread of heights might be. Among other things. If you aren't sure on specifics or if you don't know the measurement system, I can give you an idea of how to compare units you might be familiar with.

Here's my current list:

Alphonse - 7'4"
Stein - 6'10"
Joker - 6'5"
Magenta, Clint, Zack - 6'3"
Gabriel, House, Rhys - 6'2"
Mycroft, Castiel - 6'1"
Kunsel, Sherlock, Stephen - 6'0"
Enoch - 5'11"
America, Ecks - 5'10"
Alfie, Dorian - 5'8" - 5'9"
Ginger - 5'8"
Beckett - 5'7"
John - 5'6.5"
Sheena, Steph, Zell - 5'5"
Mary, Jim - 5'4"
Royce - 5'3"
Kid - 5'1"
Angel - 5'0"
Quark - 4'10"

Comments

[awwnoun]

Gross, man. But accurate. I could probably be a foot model.

And - hmm... yeah, once or twice. Why?

[jumpthegun]

[A tall person targeted!]

Who was targeting you? I'm trying to prove Sherlock wrong on something. This is important.

[awwnoun]

Lutha, once. And uh - Bucky punched me another time.

I think Nat and Tony both smacked at me a few times too but that was more of a 'Clint, stop whining about how cold it is' smack than anything.

[jumpthegun]

[Well, Bucky would attack anyone. Let's be honest.]

What happened with Lutha, if it's all right to ask?

[awwnoun]

He got mad at me for - uh. [ Clint pauses. ] I guess - well, I - I killed him, the one night that we all went crazy? So he had a reason.

[jumpthegun]

Oh. [There's a long pause.] I'm sorry, Clint. I hope you could help him understand what happened in the end?

[awwnoun]

Yeah. [ Not really, but he's not going to bring the mood down. ] Yeah, it all got talked out. I feel like I'm forgetting times that people have punched me? It happens a lot.

[jumpthegun]

And you're a giraffe. Perfect!

[He sounds more enthused about this than he probably should.]

[awwnoun]

That - that is probably the first time you're a giraffe hasn't been used as an insult.

... I don't think that was an insult?

[jumpthegun]

Not an insult in the least, mate! You're tall and you get attacked quite a bit. Breaks whatever mad pattern Sherlock was building up in his head.

[awwnoun]

[ Clint thinks somewhere, Natasha is laughing because Clint being tall and beat up often being a positive research detail is hilarious. ]

Sherlock can't even remember my name half the time, so I wouldn't put too much stock in his weird, stupid patterns.

[jumpthegun]

No. He can't. I'm sorry about that. We've been working with a bloke on the force named Greg Lestrade for 8 years and Sherlock still can't get his first name right. I think he selectively deletes things just to be an arse.

[awwnoun]

Whoa, he's trying to be an ass? Do you see how shocked I am? This is my shocked tone.

[jumpthegun]

[John laughs lightly.]

He doesn't actually mean it most of the time, y'know? He's just an oblivious idiot.

[awwnoun]

Except for when he does mean it, but - yeah, yeah, I know he's your buddy. [ Clint still hasn't quite forgiven Sherlock for yelling at him when John died. ]

[jumpthegun]

Only some days. I'd like to punch him on other ones. [Except he won't. Or he'll try very hard not to after the morgue, after Culverton.] If he's being a bother to you, let me know. I'll twist his ear.

[awwnoun]

Yeah, I will, but only if I can't get him to stop. I don't want you to have to play babysitter, you've got enough going on. Like, always.

[jumpthegun]

Well, his brother's with us now, so there's someone to tag-team with on the babysitter business, at least.

[awwnoun]

Oh god, he has a brother?

[jumpthegun]

And he's exactly as awful as you'd expect. His parents are lovely people. They invited us to Christmas dinner a couple years ago. Dunno what happened.

[awwnoun]

Bad kids happen to good people. [ Clint grumps. ] Never mind, good luck, you can have both of them, I'll take Al, Steph, Karkat and Davesprite in the divorce.

Steph can visit you on weekends.

[jumpthegun]

I think my wife might have something to say about this arrangement, Clint.

[awwnoun]

Sorry - Steph can visit you and your wife on weekends. Does she want custody of someone else? I can ask her.

[jumpthegun]

Well, for one, I'll take Karkat and Davesprite on the weekends, thanks. Al and Steph are all yours.

[awwnoun]

Are you playing favorites with our kids, Mr. Watson? [ he's gonna go so hard on this, poor watson ]