[log] God Must Hate Me [closed]

[rubikscomplex]

Characters: House, the Joker, Luna, and Quark
Location Building 58
Date: Day 139/140
Summary: House really wasn't expecting the Joker to leave downtown... It's a heartfelt reunion! And maybe some decryption on the side.
Warnings: The Joker is his own warning, as is House. Will add specifics if/when they come up!

[The building is a simple single-story house, the snow weighs uneasily on it, and it creaks and groans under the strain at the best of times. It's very dark, and only the kitchen and living room are intact. The kitchen has a back door. Two snowmen have been built outside. A message has been written on the wall in blue ink: "Don't wreck the snowmen! That's super mean!" "ALPHONSE ELRIC, MAMI TOMOE, FREYA CRESCENT, GREED, EDWARD ELRIC, STEPHANIE BROWN, DAY FORTY ONE, TRAVELLING EAST." has been carved into one of the walls. The following has been written on the wall in blue pen: "This is Building 95 97 on the composite map. Contact @CaptSteveRogers for details." Underneath this is a fairly accurate map showing the house in relation to the school and buildings 29, 35, 35, 37, 40, 41, 47, 48, 50, 53. House 34 is labeled "Medical assistance; hot, clean water. Contact Dr. Epps @claytonator". The school is labeled "School. Food available in cafeteria; DO NOT STAY HERE OVERNIGHT." The shed is labeled "Shed".]

Comments

Day 139

[rubikscomplex]

[rubikscomplex]

[House really wishes he could write again. He'd at least correct the medical contact written on the wall. There's not really much to do after looking around the kitchen and living room. He's relatively early to shelter, even if he's not going to chance it going any farther south or retreating north. He settles in on the couch in the place and takes out some food to force himself to eat. With Wilson being here, he knows he needs to do something to look marginally less pitiful, even if his appetite still isn't there.

He's not particularly expecting anyone else, but he keeps an eye on either door as he scrolls through the network, replaying some of the songs he'd recorded from the school piano and just relaxing. He takes his evening dose of Vicodin and sinks back, contemplating how the hell he's going to manage this without putting more people than necessary in danger.]

[harlequinofhate]

[The Joker pauses against the wall of the ice tunnel and lets out another hacking cough into his fist. He is going to die of this stupid illness soon, he's sure of it.

He takes a silent moment to lean on the fireplace poker and feel sorry for himself before he bustles into the backdoor of the structure. Why he chose to come here, he's not sure. All he knows is he couldn't bear wandering in circles around the downtown area anymore. There were only so many houses a guy could tear apart, so many people to annoy, before it all became incredibly boring.

When he sees House his dour expression immediately brightens.]

Doc, is that you? It's been ages!

[He flops on the couch next to House and crosses his legs.]

I tell ya, I'm so happy to see you I could kiss you.

In fact, I think I will!

[He quickly throws his arms around House's shoulders and kisses his lips.]

[rubikscomplex]

[House freezes where he is when he sees it's the Joker who's come sauntering in. It's not lockdown, yet. He can still run... but there isn't anywhere enough time to get anywhere. He's weighing whether that matters much when the other man parks himself beside him.

House doesn't turn his head, doesn't move, holds his breath, and just watches the Joker from the side. He knows this isn't the way to deal with the guy, but he'd been planning to be able to speak when he had to deal with the Joker. He'd also been hoping they could keep their distance.

Distance doesn't seem to be on Joker's mind, unless you count a lack of it. When the Joker wraps his arms around him, House finally starts to physically react. It's much too slow to stop the kiss, though. He suffers it for a few shocked seconds. What the actual hell? And then he shoves hard at the other man, aiming to scramble off the couch and get away if he can.

He'll grab the wooden mallet sitting with his pack for some defense. He's starting to hate this building. He gets attacked in it too much.]

[harlequinofhate]

[The Joker doesn't rise or lunge after House as he scrambles away. That expression is much too precious.

He leans back lazily.]

What? No cursing? Criminy, you really can't say anything, can you?

[rubikscomplex]

[He tries to master himself, to plant his feet firmly and stop his heart from racing. House wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve and takes long, deep breaths, as he schools his expression to an annoyed glare. He knows better than to push his luck too much here and keeps his mallet up just in case. What the hell is he going to do now? His pack is over by the couch and while most of his important things have been taken out, there's still crap in there he doesn't want Joker getting ahold of.

Although... there are some potential peace offerings.

If Joker takes a closer look at him in the dimness, he might notice dark stains along the inside thigh of his jeans, extending down almost to the knee. The stains are more visible from the back, along with a tear in the jeans that he's 'patched' with packing tape.

After another moment, House points at Joker, and then directs his finger further down the couch. Move. Away.]

[harlequinofhate]

[Joker continues to grin toothily in the shadows for several seconds before he leans over and retrieves House's pack.

He responds to the silent demand by gently patting the cushion next to him.]

So, Doc, aside from having to talk in emoticons how've ya been?

[He starts casually rifling through the other man's gear.]

[rubikscomplex]

[House tightens his grip on the mallet as he drops his hand. He wants to walk over and snatch his pack back. He's mildly concerned he might be grabbed in turn, though. The doctor's inventory has grown since last Joker looted his body.

The items of, perhaps, greatest interest might be a jester's hat, a poster advertising a carnival, juggling balls, a joke hand buzzer, and a sheet of stickers with various smiley faces.

House bristles at the invasion by the other man, but tries to put on a show of being unaffected as he shrugs grandly and flips his hand back and forth in a 'so-so' gesture. In retaliation, House whistles the first few bars of the Star Spangled Banner, then grips his head with a grimace of pain, then his arm, his stomach. He finishes that display off by gesturing to Joker and raising his brows.

How're the injuries doing, pal?]

[harlequinofhate]

[Joker looks up at House then back into the pack. He pulls out the cap, stickers and buzzer and places them in his lap.]

America the Beautiful hits hard, mate, but I've known fellas who hit harder. The concussion is getting better, though, thanks an awful lot for asking!

[rubikscomplex]

[Screw you, too, Joker. House swings his mallet in an idle manner. He could help the concussion not be better. Well, it helps him feel moderately less vulnerable to at least put on the appearance of being well-armed and dangerous.

He points toward the things laid out on Joker's lap, and then turns his hand palm up and makes a giving gesture. For you. Pal.]

[harlequinofhate]

Aw, for moi?

[Joker hugs the items against his chest.]

And I didn't get you anything at all.

Hey, howzabout I give you the gift of my company, hmm? I can talk for both of us.

No, no, I insist! It's the least I can do!

[rubikscomplex]

[House balks visibly and shakes his head. Hell. No.

He knows he's probably going to get stuck with the guy, anyway.

But for now, he'll rest his mallet at his side and mime drawing blood, then putting it onto a slide, placing that slide on an imaginary microscope and adjusting to look through it. He finishes it off by making a cutting motion. House is here to take his blood and examine him. That's as long as he'll stay.

Even if the Joker insists.]

[harlequinofhate]

[Joker is pretty sure he followed that but...]

You're gonna cuff me to a wall and cut my hands off?

Goodness, Doc...

[averytinyparticle]

[Quark and Luna arrive a bit later in the day, after House and Joker have had a decent amount of time to...catch up with one another. The first person he sees, of course, is House, and he can't stop his face from lighting up as the two of them make their way in through the back door.]

Mister House, hey!

[But then of course, he sees the Joker...who's somewhat hard to miss, and whatever sentence he was going to follow up the greeting with sort of stammers to an abrupt halt. He's never met him, but it's hard not to recognize him. His portrait's in the survival guide and everything.]

Um...

[His eyes dart quietly back toward the way they came...but, well, there's not exactly much time to find another place to stay.]

[brokethefirst]

[Seeing the Joker for a third time brings that familiar weight of fear crawling back into her gut. Of all the situations they could have possibly landed in...

But twice timid with consequemces for her cowardice has left her battered enough. Her limbs are trembling but quick, hands grabbing Quark's shoulders to try and turn him towards the far end of the kitchen, all the while reversing their positions, slipping between him and the madman with an oddly cold expression set on the Joker himself.

Her eyes flicker to House only long enough to check if the doctor is hurt or otherwise compromised, something apologetic only briefly surfacing. She wouldn't let this turn into a disaster. Not again.]

[rubikscomplex]

[House's eyes widen with fear and horror. Quark. Fuck, Quark is here. He's on the couch again, but immediately stands. He's not injured, but he looks like he's completely on edge. Perhaps that's not surprising. But he moves to place himself as another barrier between the Joker and Quark.

This isn't good. The Joker had threatened to murder the boy. Quark isn't supposed to be here. The anger that jumps up for how unfair this is immediately gets funneled in Luna's direction as an easy target, but even House recognizes that it's completely irrational. They're on the same side at the moment. The Protect Quark side.]

[harlequinofhate]

[The Joker sprawls out with limbs spread when House rises from the couch and giggles.]

Well, lookee, the gang's all here! We should play a game. Monopoly?

[He claps his hands.]

I wanna be the Scottie dog!

[averytinyparticle]

[There's a deliberate pause as Quark debates speaking. He's being fully blocked by two adults...but, well, at least the Joker isn't trying to lunge at him right now. And it would be really awkward if nobody said anything, wouldn't it? So, without moving from behind the wall of human bodies he's being shielded by, he speaks up.]

How can we play Monopoly without all the pieces?

[He has always been precocious.]

[brokethefirst]

Quark, please don't-- [It's a bit broken in tone, between the flash of anger that she spots from House and her own rising fear. Think, think, what would Tenmyouji do--

Tenmyouji would be mostly snark and rage. Not something she can bring herself to mimic. But she does reach back to make sure she has a good grasp on the boy's uninjured hand.]

[rubikscomplex]

[House can't say anything, but internally, he's rolling his eyes at the boy. If he's going to be precocious, he can at least ask the question in a mocking tone.

After a moment contemplating how to deal with this situation, House decides the best option is to get the Joker to focus on him. Or Luna. Luna's boring, though. He pulls his harmonica out of his pocket, and starts to play.]

[harlequinofhate]

[The Joker looks at House as he starts to play, then at Luna.

Finally, his gaze settles on Quark. They want him to focus his attention on anything other than the boy, it could hardly be more obvious.]

Guess having a board would help.

Why don't we play I Spy instead?

I spy with my little eye something that is white.

[averytinyparticle]

Please don't say snow.

[A bit better with the mocking tone that time, we can only hope. Quark frowns, looking from Luna to House. Okay, so he gets it, he shouldn't be talking to this guy. It's not like he wants to distress either of them, especially not Luna...but what else is he gonna do? Hide in a cupboard and cry?]

[harlequinofhate]

No. Me.

[Joker's eyes never leave Quark as he gestures towards his own face.]

Your turn!

[rubikscomplex]

[House leaves off playing. It's clearly not doing anything to distract the Joker, and why would it? He's doing exactly what House would be doing if he wanted to piss someone off: Focus on the thing they don't want you to focus on. Well, talk is just talk. Talk is fine.

But it's making his insides clench uncomfortably with dread.]

[averytinyparticle]

[Quark tries really hard not to smile. But...it was a little funny. He looks down to try and hide it when his lips curve upwards, and pretend maybe like he's not playing along. But...his eyes look around him until they land on something they like.]

I spy with my little eye...something...orange.