snowblindrpg | [log] God Must Hate Me [closed]

Entry tags:

[log] God Must Hate Me [closed]

Characters: House, the Joker, Luna, and Quark
Location Building 58
Date: Day 139/140
Summary: House really wasn't expecting the Joker to leave downtown... It's a heartfelt reunion! And maybe some decryption on the side.
Warnings: The Joker is his own warning, as is House. Will add specifics if/when they come up!

[The building is a simple single-story house, the snow weighs uneasily on it, and it creaks and groans under the strain at the best of times. It's very dark, and only the kitchen and living room are intact. The kitchen has a back door. Two snowmen have been built outside. A message has been written on the wall in blue ink: "Don't wreck the snowmen! That's super mean!" "ALPHONSE ELRIC, MAMI TOMOE, FREYA CRESCENT, GREED, EDWARD ELRIC, STEPHANIE BROWN, DAY FORTY ONE, TRAVELLING EAST." has been carved into one of the walls. The following has been written on the wall in blue pen: "This is Building 95 97 on the composite map. Contact @CaptSteveRogers for details." Underneath this is a fairly accurate map showing the house in relation to the school and buildings 29, 35, 35, 37, 40, 41, 47, 48, 50, 53. House 34 is labeled "Medical assistance; hot, clean water. Contact Dr. Epps @claytonator". The school is labeled "School. Food available in cafeteria; DO NOT STAY HERE OVERNIGHT." The shed is labeled "Shed".]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[House freezes where he is when he sees it's the Joker who's come sauntering in. It's not lockdown, yet. He can still run... but there isn't anywhere enough time to get anywhere. He's weighing whether that matters much when the other man parks himself beside him.

House doesn't turn his head, doesn't move, holds his breath, and just watches the Joker from the side. He knows this isn't the way to deal with the guy, but he'd been planning to be able to speak when he had to deal with the Joker. He'd also been hoping they could keep their distance.

Distance doesn't seem to be on Joker's mind, unless you count a lack of it. When the Joker wraps his arms around him, House finally starts to physically react. It's much too slow to stop the kiss, though. He suffers it for a few shocked seconds. What the actual hell? And then he shoves hard at the other man, aiming to scramble off the couch and get away if he can.

He'll grab the wooden mallet sitting with his pack for some defense. He's starting to hate this building. He gets attacked in it too much.]

[The Joker doesn't rise or lunge after House as he scrambles away. That expression is much too precious.

He leans back lazily.]

What? No cursing? Criminy, you really can't say anything, can you?

[He tries to master himself, to plant his feet firmly and stop his heart from racing. House wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve and takes long, deep breaths, as he schools his expression to an annoyed glare. He knows better than to push his luck too much here and keeps his mallet up just in case. What the hell is he going to do now? His pack is over by the couch and while most of his important things have been taken out, there's still crap in there he doesn't want Joker getting ahold of.

Although... there are some potential peace offerings.

If Joker takes a closer look at him in the dimness, he might notice dark stains along the inside thigh of his jeans, extending down almost to the knee. The stains are more visible from the back, along with a tear in the jeans that he's 'patched' with packing tape.

After another moment, House points at Joker, and then directs his finger further down the couch. Move. Away.]

[Joker continues to grin toothily in the shadows for several seconds before he leans over and retrieves House's pack.

He responds to the silent demand by gently patting the cushion next to him.]

So, Doc, aside from having to talk in emoticons how've ya been?

[He starts casually rifling through the other man's gear.]

[House tightens his grip on the mallet as he drops his hand. He wants to walk over and snatch his pack back. He's mildly concerned he might be grabbed in turn, though. The doctor's inventory has grown since last Joker looted his body.

The items of, perhaps, greatest interest might be a jester's hat, a poster advertising a carnival, juggling balls, a joke hand buzzer, and a sheet of stickers with various smiley faces.

House bristles at the invasion by the other man, but tries to put on a show of being unaffected as he shrugs grandly and flips his hand back and forth in a 'so-so' gesture. In retaliation, House whistles the first few bars of the Star Spangled Banner, then grips his head with a grimace of pain, then his arm, his stomach. He finishes that display off by gesturing to Joker and raising his brows.

How're the injuries doing, pal?]

[Joker looks up at House then back into the pack. He pulls out the cap, stickers and buzzer and places them in his lap.]

America the Beautiful hits hard, mate, but I've known fellas who hit harder. The concussion is getting better, though, thanks an awful lot for asking!

[Screw you, too, Joker. House swings his mallet in an idle manner. He could help the concussion not be better. Well, it helps him feel moderately less vulnerable to at least put on the appearance of being well-armed and dangerous.

He points toward the things laid out on Joker's lap, and then turns his hand palm up and makes a giving gesture. For you. Pal.]

Aw, for moi?

[Joker hugs the items against his chest.]

And I didn't get you anything at all.

Hey, howzabout I give you the gift of my company, hmm? I can talk for both of us.

No, no, I insist! It's the least I can do!

[House balks visibly and shakes his head. Hell. No.

He knows he's probably going to get stuck with the guy, anyway.

But for now, he'll rest his mallet at his side and mime drawing blood, then putting it onto a slide, placing that slide on an imaginary microscope and adjusting to look through it. He finishes it off by making a cutting motion. House is here to take his blood and examine him. That's as long as he'll stay.

Even if the Joker insists.]

[Joker is pretty sure he followed that but...]

You're gonna cuff me to a wall and cut my hands off?

Goodness, Doc...

[House gives Joker a flat look. He knows you know what he meant, clown. Instead of trying to mime a reply, House pulls out a Joker card, slightly battered, but still bearing its message: I hope we can still be friends. Kisses!

He flicks it over to the Joker. He's giving back the friendship card. Take that for what it's worth.]

What's this?

Are you saying you don't wanna be pals anymore?

[He gently turns the card around in his hands.]

But if we're not friends would that make us enemies?

[He tries to remember how to look emotionally wounded, fails, and considers just stabbing House instead.]

[Okay... for the momentary satisfaction, that probably wasn't worth it. House pulls the mallet up into both hands, backing up to the point that he's in the entry between the living room and the kitchen. They're the only two rooms in this place. There's just not enough space to properly run and hide from the other man.

Whatever minor confidence he'd been rebuilding in their 'chat' crumbles, and he lowers his gaze for a moment to watch Joker's hands as House shakes his head. Not enemies, no.]

[The Joker presses his gloved hands together as if praying, the card clasped between them.

For a moment his eyes are hidden in the shadows of his flowery, wide brimmed hat then he looks up at House again and stares.

Silence, then...]

So...

So we're still buddies?

[He freaking hates this guy. This isn't an actual question. They're 'buddies' or House is going to get murdered again. He only just got murdered.

The doctor clenches the mallet in a white knuckle grip, keeping his eyes lowered in deference as he nods. Screw everything about this situation. Once he can get ahold of Bucky, he's going to love watching this asshole get taken down a peg.]

Aw, buddy, I knew you cared!

[He gets up from the couch and walks towards House with open arms.]

C'mere, you, gimme a hug!

[House doesn't move from where he is, doesn't engage, but he won't resist if the Joker hugs him, just silently tolerate it while standing stiff as a board. He dislikes physical contact at the best of times with most people. Joker being anywhere near him with the potential to stab him if he doesn't behave 'correctly' is not at all on his list of desirable situations.

He could just pretend it isn't bothering him, but the problem is he's not sure that would actually help in this situation. The Joker already knows House doesn't like it. Faking it is just going to encourage him to take it farther, press the boundaries to the breaking point. They're already near enough to it with that kiss.

If the Joker hangs onto him for more than fifteen seconds, House will start pulling away, gently, at first. He's careful not to try to shove the other man as he does so, though.]

[The Joker embraces House and uses the closeness to hide his movements as he slides a hand down and makes a grab for the mallet.]

[He can make a grab for it. House has the thing in a death grip, though. He has to resist the reflex to lash out at the Joker, but he'll keep his hold unless Joker threatens. His eyes do jump up to the other man's face - people are too tall here, House is used to being the tallest guy in the room, even at a slouch - and he stares at the Joker.

If it looks like he's getting angry or annoyed, House will let go. If not, he'll hold on.]

[The Joker, still pressed entirely too close, smiles.]

C'mon, Doc, let go of the mallet. I mean, unless you're gonna take a swing at me.

Think you can cave my skull before I cave yours?

[He wishes he could talk. Because he'd mention he was more aiming for the kneecaps. But perhaps it's better that he can't. Better not to give the Joker other ideas.

House closes his eyes and lets go before balling his hand into a tight fist. This is humiliating, really, and that might be worse than the fear. He's being pushed around by a guy who looks like he just got kicked out of a 2-bit carnival. Why the hell does he have to have the clown motif? At least Duster and Alfie look frightening.

Well... Alfie moreso. Duster's just pretty in that assassin/rogue way.]

[Joker seizes the mallet and lifts it up, as if he were ready to take a swing.]

HA!

Edited 2016-07-27 23:24 (UTC)

[House lurches back immediately, eyes going wide as he raises an arm against a blow and puts the door frame between himself and the full swing of the mallet. There's only a sharp intake of breath, but he really wishes he could swear right now.]

[What a wonderful reaction.

Satisfied, the Joker tosses the mallet over his shoulder.]

There. I don't think we'll be needing that, will we?

[The Vicodin is not worth this.
The Vicodin is not worth this.
The Vicodin is sure as hell not worth this.

But he's going to stay to try to get it, anyway.

His leg is starting to hurt, anyway. There's no reason for that, and he's just had his nightly dose, but god, does he need another hit.

House reaches into his pocket, not to actually pull out the pills, but to wrap his hand around the bottle for the comfort. His other hand makes a quick open handed sweep as he scowls. Jesus, he's known guys who go off and on like a light, but the Joker's redefining what he considers excessive.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject