[log] Grass is probably green, sky is probably blue [closed]

[spoileralert]

Characters: Stephanie Brown, Alphonse Elric and Gabriel Gray
Location: Skywalk 287
Date: Night 265
Summary: A reunion
Warnings: TBA

Steph doesn't reach the skywalk again until scant moments before lockdown, but the boys have had the whole day to recover from their godawful experience. She assumes this is enough time for them to regain at least some desire for affection.

If not, they're out of luck, because the first thing Steph does after dropping all her belongings by the door is throw herself at first one, then the other. Hopefully nobody will comment if she's crying a little.

Comments

[termineur]

Sylar has spent the past day attempting not to think about everything that crowds his head, giving up on that idea and over-analyzing it even farther than he thinks he can stand, then backing out and starting the whole process over again. He's worried about Al, he's worried about Steph, and he's worried about himself- two whole more people than he's used to worrying about. Hell, he's even worried about Vanitas, and starting to agree that this whole 'caring about other people' thing is scary and tiresome.

That's when Steph shows up. He doesn't expect the hug. But as soon as it happens, he's hugging her back just as fiercely. "Hey, you," he says, immediately annoyed with how choked up he sounds. "Thought it'd be another day before you made it up here."

He is really glad it wasn't.

[spoileralert]

The strain in his voice just encourages her to squeeze him harder. She didn't realize how much she cared about him until she was half-convinced she was never going to see him again.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you wait. I had to check - that building is still there, but it's invisible now."

[termineur]

He shakes his head at the apology- not that she can really see it since they're still hugging. "It's good you checked. Guess we can't burn it down anymore, huh? But this is- it's fine, I think." As long as they didn't have to deal with it ever again.

[spoileralert]

She can feel it, and she's glad he isn't overly concerned about the building in question. She doesn't like that it still exists, but she supposes it would be weirder if it had really disappeared entirely.

"We'll find something else to burn, I'm sure."

She makes no motion whatever to pull away or end the hug.

[termineur]

He chuckles- it sounds rather anemic, but there's still some actual amusement in there. "We'll have to make sure its just as satisfying."

He stands there like that for a long while, eyes closed and an occasional sniffle escaping him. It's the only sign he's even feeling emotional, until he says, "I'm not going to let this place pull us apart again. Enough."

It's said with enough conviction- maybe he believes he can stop it via words alone.

[spoileralert]

She lets out a sad little chuckle of her own, feeling tears overflow. Waking up alone, she had honestly wondered if she was losing her mind. It's so good to not be alone anymore.

"You better not," she threatens wetly. It isn't as though it's been his fault, the times she's been left alone. But people keep dying on her, and she's losing her grip on what 'normal' even looks like.

"I- I heard everyone's all healed, but it's really true? You're not still hurt anywhere?"

[armoured]

Al doesn't know what's going to happen after today, he feels somehow wrong sticking around and trying to keep helping after what he's done. Which has led to him sitting as far from Sylar as he can for most of the day, aside from one or two melancholy conversations, but then Steph arrives.

Her hug breaks something inside him and he folds in over her, trembling so hard that his armour rattles, sounding as if he's crying even though he can't.

"I-- Steph, I--"

[spoileralert]

Odd as it may look, she pets his helmet like she would hair. She didn't watch any more of the surgeries than she had to in order to see who was where, but she can imagine. She knows what must be going through his head right now.

"It's okay, you're okay. I'm here now."

[armoured]

Okay... it sounds so hollow and empty, and he gives a tiny humourless laugh that just sounds broken and splintered when she says it. Of course it's not okay. Nobody is okay after this.

"...how can I ever ask people to believe I'll protect them again?"

He can't even believe it of himself.

[spoileralert]

Not even the people who were on the outside are okay. But for Al... Steph can be okay for Al.

"Because you try. You keep trying, and you never stop trying, when I would have given up entirely if it weren't for you. This wasn't your fault, Al. Nobody thinks that it is."

[armoured]

"I did try, I tried so damn hard to convert them. I thought it was the right thing, I told them all how much I wanted to help them."

He can't ever say those words again without thinking of that, without it making the promise to help and the determination to do the right thing hollow. It feels like he's become a genuine monster.

for Sylar, pre Steph

[armoured]

They've woken up in the same place.

Of course they have, they were together when they were taken, why would they not be back where they started as if nothing happened at all? But it did happen, and no amount of injuries being wiped clean will ever change that. He remembers helping people in the trap doors as desperately as he could, but now--

Now he looks empty and hollow, he doesn't even look over at Sylar.

[termineur]

Oh God, they're back. And Al is here. Even though they've been in the same building all this time, he never felt so far away. And now he fully expects Al to just sort of crumple in on himself, and he cannot let that happen. Sylar is nothing if not single-minded, once he's set himself to a task.

So the horrors of losing his mind and the terrible dream he'd had while he was there, the one where he was sold to his new parents and- and-- He shuts it all away for awhile. He can deal with it later. Al is here now and he's not looking this way.

"Al?" he says, scrambling to his totally-working feet. Everything's fixed, it's really fixed, even if there are heavy scars on his arms and legs and forehead. Sylar can't see any of that. He laughs, a disbelieving happy sound. "We made it back. You made it back. Vanitas said, he said you couldn't come with us. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again. You're o- well. I mean, not okay. But nothing broken, right?"

And whether Al wants it or not, Sylar is stumbling over to give him a hug.

[armoured]

How can Sylar sound so happy, as if they really have overcome something terrible and it's all going to be alright now? Al had pushed himself to action in those last hours, desperate to make sure the people that had already been hurt could at least get out, but that didn't make it better.

He can remember the clockwork limbs that looked so painful, and he can remember saying how good they looked. He can remember praising Sylar for being on the road to recovery, it makes him want to be sick. It makes him tilt his head away, unable to even look at the other man.

"...don't." It's small. "Please don't be like that, I don't-- I'm not one of the ones who was hurt."

[termineur]

This is how he figured it'd be. Sylar heaves a sigh, gearing himself up for this, before he reaches up and puts his hands on Al's shoulders.

"Alphonse Elric, look at me." He'll do his best to catch Al's gaze, even if the armour kid tries to look away. His own eyes are so bright they're almost manic, filled with fierce determination. "You're not going to believe me right now, but you need to hear it because it's the truth: You were absolutely worse off than me, during that whole thing. You had your self taken and twisted out of shape, until it would do things that are against your very core. And it wasn't even a fluke of genetics for you, someone specifically targeted your mind and forced it to their will. I don't have words for how terrible that is. It wasn't you. It felt like you, but it wasn't. It was awful and you are just as much of a victim, and I'm not gonna leave you alone in that."

'And you aren't going to take the excuse to leave me alone, either' is heavily thought but left unsaid. He can't lose Al to this. If he does, he has no hope for himself.

[armoured]

In contrast to how bright and energised Sylar's eyes are, Al's are barely visible, just tiny pinpricks of light in the helmet. He doesn't look away, though it's hard to hear what's being said. A tiny part of him is so proud, even now, of how far Sylar has come in terms of compassion and empathy, but he's too broken to mention it.

"Ever since-- there was this girl that Ed and I met when we were researching the philosopher's stone, Nina. We couldn't save her. We made a promise then that we'd never stop protecting the people around us, we'd do whatever it took to save lives, and we'd never ever become the monsters ourselves."

His voice wobbles, tight with distress. "It doesn't matter that it wasn't me, because there'll always be people here now who remember my hands and my voice and my body doing those things. They'll never be able to look at me, they'll have nightmares about me. How can I ever ask anyone to trust me to protect them again, when I used those words for that?"

Evening of 270 - Building 290

[termineur]

[ Sylar has been rather remarkably quiet, ever since they picked up the jar and the arm. He carries the jar carefully, treating it with more respect than he ever did when it was in Brian Davis' body.

When they stop for the night, he make sure the other two are in the room and settles into a corner. And then he stares at the jar, looking it over from every angle with an intense gaze. ]

[spoileralert]

[ Steph doesn't really notice the jar until Sylar sits down to peer at it so closely. Then she wanders over to see what he's looking at. ]

Hey, wha- [ that's a brain ] -aaaaaaaat the shit is that?

[termineur]

[ Well, that'd be why he was being so careful about it- or at least one of the reasons. He didn't want to be told to get rid of it before he'd had a good chance to look at it. He continues staring at it, turning the jar over in his hands. ]

It's the brain of my first victim. Brian Davis. Apparently, Norfinbury put it in a package for me and left it at the post office.

[ What're you gonna do, right? ]

The cuts are even in the same place. It's definitely him.

[spoileralert]

You can tell that? [ More importantly ] Why is it in a jar? Did you put it in a jar?

[termineur]

[ He shakes his head. ]

Nope. That was Norfinbury's idea.

And yeah, I can tell- it's not the sort of thing I'd forget.

[ Plus also, he studied brain anatomy like a madman, so he remembers how all of it goes. ]

No idea why its here, but- it's like the dolls of people, right? Sometimes something specific pops up.

[armoured]

[The automail arm is being treated with the same sort of reverence, Al has made sure that it's carefully packed away in his bag so it won't get damaged, but otherwise he doesn't look much at it.

He's been waiting for a moment to talk to Sylar alone about their other acquisition, and now apparently is the right time.]

Vanitas told me about that.

[termineur]

[ Sylar wants to see that automail really bad, but he was worried about what would happen when this conversation inevitably occurred. He had to take a look at the brain before he lost it. Now, though, he puts the jar down and looks up to Al, a hint of defensiveness in his eyes. ]

He did, huh? Probably was trying to see if he could get you to swear off hanging out with me.

[ He'd noticed that was sort of Vanitas' thing. ]

I wanted to make sure it was Brian. It is.

[armoured]

Why?

[He knows that's what Vanitas was doing, but that's between them and he's not going to discuss it right now.]

Why did it matter who's it was? It's a brain, Mr. Gray, a real one.

[termineur]

[ He looks to the side, like a kid caught stealing candy, and sighs. ]

Yeah. And that means that they brought Brian in here, too. Or tried to- it looks like it was after I got to him.

[ Yeah, that's not going to fly, is it? It didn't really matter, he didn't have to see it for himself. The next explanation wasn't quite enough either, but at least it tries to answer the question. ]

I was mostly trying to make sure you got the arm back. This let me talk to Vanitas about it longer.