[network] @standardissue; Dear Norfinbury [open] - Day 178

[deus_ex_phs]

DEAR NORFINBURY

Hello, everyone. Welcome to "Dear Norfinbury," an advice column created by yours truly. Got a burning question you want a second opinion on? Need advice for a situation or problem? Having relationship troubles that you could use some help ironing out?

You've come to the right place here! This forum has been created to allow people to solicit advice from the general populace of Norfinbury for any and all questions you might have!

But wait, you say. You have questions, but you don't want to attach your name to them. How can you safely post and have discussions when there's no anonymous function on these tablets?

That's where I come in!

Simply send your submission and any subsequent responses you want to keep anonymous to @standardissue, and I will post them for you here, removing any mention of your name. You have my word that I will keep your confidence, on my SOLDIER honor! Try to be courteous to each other, but know that I won't alter any responses beyond the requirements of anonymity.



[OOC: Okay, so here's how this works! Anyone who wants to submit something to the column can reply to the SUBMISSIONS thread. The Submissions thread is public, just helps separate the genuine requests from everything else that will no doubt get posted here. If you want a submission or a reply to be ANONYMOUS, please mark it as such in your subject line. Just to be clear, though, any and all "anonymous" submissions have to pass through Kunsel's hands. That part can be handwaved, so you guys don't necessarily need MY involvement to tag back and forth. I promise he will dutifully reproduce every word that gets sent, minus the poster's name. Just keep in mind that Kunsel technically is involved in every anonymous posting, and that all anonymous posts will appear to be sent by @standardissue.

Also, he won't step in and cut off any anonymous threads unless I'm either specifically asked, or unless things escalate wildly. E.g. if you think your character is going to start sending anonymous death threats, Kunsel might object to posting that. Mostly, I don't want to interfere with threads if I can at all avoid it, but use your judgment here and contact me if you think it should come to that. o/ I am available through PM or through plurk at nivisecond.

Of course, I'm under no illusions as to how well this whole idea is going to go off. If this whole thing goes up in flames and never actually gets around to any advice, it will come as no surprise. :3

Just have fun with it, everyone!]

Comments

SUBMISSIONS

[deus_ex_phs]

@gravedigger; text

[harlequinofhate]

I think you're hot.

@standardissue; text

[deus_ex_phs]

Uh.... thanks?

[Seriously, what is this?]

private text; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

my best friend has problems getting a girlfriend because he can't dislodge himself from his tablet. any suggestions?

[ He loves you, man. He'll also come up with something more serious when he's not being a shit.

Well.

Maybe anyway. ]

private text; @standardissue

[deus_ex_phs]

Dammit, Zack! I'm not posting that!

And for the record, I don't have any problems with getting a girlfriend! There just aren't any girls I want to date here!

[Well, maybe there is. Maybe. But he's not giving Zack that kind of fuel!]

anon/via kunsel;

[blueteamsproblem]

so

y SHUDNT u eat yellow snow

@betterhalf; text

[darkincrement]

They just say that to hog it for themselves.

text; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

okay. this has gotta be a joke.

[ Seriously, what the fuck. ]

@Spoiler ; private text

[spoileralert]

Hahaha this is a thing of great beauty. Ok, a totally made up question of no relevance to anyone specifically here in Norfinbury...

My world is a shithole and people are almost always awful. I hate them and don't see why I should bother hiding it! I've been told that this is not a helpful way to live my life. What do you think?

Anonymous, of course ;)

PUBLIC

[deus_ex_phs]

[THIS SUBMISSION IS NOW PUBLICLY POSTED BY @STANDARDISSUE.]

My world is a shithole and people are almost always awful. I hate them and don't see why I should bother hiding it! I've been told that this is not a helpful way to live my life. What do you think?

@standardissue; private text

[deus_ex_phs]

Thank you! I'm glad you appreciate a good trash can fire gossip rag, too!

You want me to reply anon?

anon (@standardissue); text

[darkincrement]

Norfinbury,

What advice would you give someone who wants a half naked elf boyfriend, but is too shy and covered in scars.

-Looking for Love

@guardian; text

[phaseshifter]

That really depends on which half-naked buff elf is the object of your affections, anon. You have to be specific!

[not here kinda]

[dravanicide]

[What in the seven hells...

He is gonna keep an eye on this.]

@theblue

[heiresy]

Perhaps it is inappropriate for me to offer this advice, considering I could be that "elf"...

But I must agree wit hthe others. We are all our own men with individual interests.

@joacin; text

[haillenarte]

There are only so many of us to go around.

@haurchefant; text

[silverfuller]

what have you to lose from simply asking?

@ordo, audio

[hangfire]

Who the hell is this?

[Goodbye subtlety, hello abrupt and unignorable rage.]

text; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

just go for it? I don't see why scars should stop you. they might even be into that for all you know.

anon (@standardissue); text

[haillenarte]

Sometimes I feel sick when I think about myself.

-Anonymous

@zd; text

[swatsflies]

Why sick?

[ He's worried, anon. :( ]

text; @dreamsnhonor

[heroproceeding]

is there something you've done that you regret?

[ Because he can understand that feeling at least. Maybe a bit too well at times. ]

anon/via Kunsel

[ninjainviolet]

So, uh, how do I go about attracting a guy?