[network] @standardissue; Dear Norfinbury [open] - Day 178

[deus_ex_phs]

DEAR NORFINBURY

Hello, everyone. Welcome to "Dear Norfinbury," an advice column created by yours truly. Got a burning question you want a second opinion on? Need advice for a situation or problem? Having relationship troubles that you could use some help ironing out?

You've come to the right place here! This forum has been created to allow people to solicit advice from the general populace of Norfinbury for any and all questions you might have!

But wait, you say. You have questions, but you don't want to attach your name to them. How can you safely post and have discussions when there's no anonymous function on these tablets?

That's where I come in!

Simply send your submission and any subsequent responses you want to keep anonymous to @standardissue, and I will post them for you here, removing any mention of your name. You have my word that I will keep your confidence, on my SOLDIER honor! Try to be courteous to each other, but know that I won't alter any responses beyond the requirements of anonymity.



[OOC: Okay, so here's how this works! Anyone who wants to submit something to the column can reply to the SUBMISSIONS thread. The Submissions thread is public, just helps separate the genuine requests from everything else that will no doubt get posted here. If you want a submission or a reply to be ANONYMOUS, please mark it as such in your subject line. Just to be clear, though, any and all "anonymous" submissions have to pass through Kunsel's hands. That part can be handwaved, so you guys don't necessarily need MY involvement to tag back and forth. I promise he will dutifully reproduce every word that gets sent, minus the poster's name. Just keep in mind that Kunsel technically is involved in every anonymous posting, and that all anonymous posts will appear to be sent by @standardissue.

Also, he won't step in and cut off any anonymous threads unless I'm either specifically asked, or unless things escalate wildly. E.g. if you think your character is going to start sending anonymous death threats, Kunsel might object to posting that. Mostly, I don't want to interfere with threads if I can at all avoid it, but use your judgment here and contact me if you think it should come to that. o/ I am available through PM or through plurk at nivisecond.

Of course, I'm under no illusions as to how well this whole idea is going to go off. If this whole thing goes up in flames and never actually gets around to any advice, it will come as no surprise. :3

Just have fun with it, everyone!]

Comments

[howdull]

Sadly, John also suffers from a sensitive sense of smell. He frequently vomits due to the scent of his own clothing, I hope that excessive expulsions won't crimp your first date too much.

[ninjainviolet]

There's nothing sad about that--especially in this kind of cold where odors are cut down. I am really impressed.

At least the evening won't be boring.

[howdull]

Wonderful, then it seems you two will be a match made in heaven. There's only one more condition, John likes it if I meet his prospective girlfriends first.

[ninjainviolet]

He does, hmm? Probably about as much as he likes you going out of your way to offer me "advice", right?

[ Uh oh. Guess who's seen the other conversation? ]

[howdull]

Even more so.

So when can I expect you, Miss Fujibayashi?

[It was easy to deduce who when given the name and sex, there aren't a lot of women in that particular small age range here.]

[ninjainviolet]

[ Since someone's already figured out who she is, she's not impressed by that.

She is, however, pleased by one thing: he spelled her name right.

That doesn't change one thing, though. ]

You know, this thing is anonymous for a reason.

[ Poor Zell. ]

[howdull]

Hardly anonymous, it's obvious who you are.

[Come on, he doesn't even know Sheena and he figured it out.]

[ninjainviolet]

[ Have a wry response come back at you, Sherlock. ]

Well, it is now.

[ She pauses. ]

Tell me. How did you figure it out? We've never met or spoken, and I'm not really on this tablet thing too often, so what tipped you off?

[howdull]

Isn't it obvious?

The number of women in the correct age bracket is minimal, the number who are unattached or have not mentioned they see John as little more than a friend, are even more minimal.

Even John could have followed those clues.

[ninjainviolet]

Not really--unless you went through almost six months of posts on this thing. Which really wouldn't be much of a clue since not everyone has a tendency of announcing they're dating someone. Or that they're interested in a particular person.

[ Peggy had thought she and Leon were dating, but that's not the case. ]

Plus, I've spoken to John only once before this and that had been about cemeteries.

[ More than likely, he was looking over John's shoulder when she told him who she was. ]

[howdull]

[He really wasn't.]

Perhaps not obvious to you, but it read as clearly as a book to me. This is what I do, after all.

[ninjainviolet]

Did you make a list of people here?

[ Sounds like something Raine would do. ]

[howdull]

Why would I waste my time on something so banal?

[Says the man who documented 243 kinds of tobacco ash.]

[ninjainviolet]

To match names with voices/faces, since the only common lists are the obituaries ADMIN puts up.

[ She's serious... And he'd love Raine if she ever shows up. ]

[howdull]

I don't care about the names and faces of most people here.

[ninjainviolet]

Let me guess: you focus on those who you like and those who might be a threat?

[howdull]

No. I focus on the interesting people.

[Which is as much to imply she isn't one, though that would be a lie if she does become closer to John, especially when he hangs up.]