[network] @standardissue; Dear Norfinbury [open] - Day 178

[deus_ex_phs]

DEAR NORFINBURY

Hello, everyone. Welcome to "Dear Norfinbury," an advice column created by yours truly. Got a burning question you want a second opinion on? Need advice for a situation or problem? Having relationship troubles that you could use some help ironing out?

You've come to the right place here! This forum has been created to allow people to solicit advice from the general populace of Norfinbury for any and all questions you might have!

But wait, you say. You have questions, but you don't want to attach your name to them. How can you safely post and have discussions when there's no anonymous function on these tablets?

That's where I come in!

Simply send your submission and any subsequent responses you want to keep anonymous to @standardissue, and I will post them for you here, removing any mention of your name. You have my word that I will keep your confidence, on my SOLDIER honor! Try to be courteous to each other, but know that I won't alter any responses beyond the requirements of anonymity.



[OOC: Okay, so here's how this works! Anyone who wants to submit something to the column can reply to the SUBMISSIONS thread. The Submissions thread is public, just helps separate the genuine requests from everything else that will no doubt get posted here. If you want a submission or a reply to be ANONYMOUS, please mark it as such in your subject line. Just to be clear, though, any and all "anonymous" submissions have to pass through Kunsel's hands. That part can be handwaved, so you guys don't necessarily need MY involvement to tag back and forth. I promise he will dutifully reproduce every word that gets sent, minus the poster's name. Just keep in mind that Kunsel technically is involved in every anonymous posting, and that all anonymous posts will appear to be sent by @standardissue.

Also, he won't step in and cut off any anonymous threads unless I'm either specifically asked, or unless things escalate wildly. E.g. if you think your character is going to start sending anonymous death threats, Kunsel might object to posting that. Mostly, I don't want to interfere with threads if I can at all avoid it, but use your judgment here and contact me if you think it should come to that. o/ I am available through PM or through plurk at nivisecond.

Of course, I'm under no illusions as to how well this whole idea is going to go off. If this whole thing goes up in flames and never actually gets around to any advice, it will come as no surprise. :3

Just have fun with it, everyone!]

Comments

[heroproceeding]

Man, you must really not know what cats do when they get older, do you.

[ Is that a grin? The rudest grin? Yeah, he is totally just... Yeah, he's going places and he's gonna get smacked for it. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

Sure I do.

They get better at manipulating their owners.

[heroproceeding]

Oh, so you have an owner now, Kitsel. That's new.

[deus_ex_phs]

I have an owner the same way other cats do, Zack. Which is to say, I don't. I own you.

[heroproceeding]

Typical cat thinking you got me wrapped around your finger. Just you wait, buddy.

[deus_ex_phs]

I don't hear a denial.

[heroproceeding]

Thinking and knowing are two different things. I'd think you of all people would know that, Kuns, but I guess you don't.

[ Bein' a shit. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

Still not hearing a denial.

[heroproceeding]

No, because you're hearing what you wanna hear, buddy. But you can go on thinking that way. This is how I've got you wrapped around my finger.

[deus_ex_phs]

Or maybe I'm just not hearing something because you haven't actually said it. The way you keep dodging around doing that makes me thing it's really the other way around. I've got you around my finger here.

Want me to scratch behind your ears?

[heroproceeding]

Cute, Kuns. Very cute.

But here's the thing between me and other owners. I let you think you've got me.

[ Winking casually, he just folds his arms. ] See? It's been working for the past five minutes.

[deus_ex_phs]

Screw you, Zack.

[Kunsel might be casually flipping him off, the way that best friends do.]

See if I ever share my catnip with you again.

[heroproceeding]

[ That just gets some obnoxious laughter out of him. ]

I'm sure Mochi wouldn't mind you sharing the wealth with him instead anyway.

[deus_ex_phs]

Mochi's a better friend anyway. You don't hear him cracking jokes about my love life.

[heroproceeding]

Kuns. Kuns, you know I'm kidding, right? Come on!

[ Just gonna attempt to clap him on the shoulder in reassurance. Of course, he wouldn't blame his friend at this point for shoving him away for being such an ass. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Kunsel swats away the hand.]

Nope, my mind's already made up. You had your chance, and you blew it, Zack Fair.

[heroproceeding]

But all Mochi does is try to eat your food and lay on your face at night!

[ A quick glance at the cat and he adds to him: ] No offense, buddy!

[ He is the last living Hamada legacy alive, after all. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

How's that any different from you?

[Sorry, not sorry, Zack. He so gonna get hit for this.]

[heroproceeding]

[ YEAH, HE IS. JUST GONNA SMACK HIM RIGHT NOW IN FACT. ]

That's nothing like me and you know it!

[deus_ex_phs]

[WORTH IT.]

Oh, yeah? So you don't ever steal my food? And you don't ever fling your arm over my face when you sleep? I bet Zell and Jim have pictures to tell that lie.

[Is he bluffing? Is he serious?

Or is he just calling it like it is?]

[heroproceeding]

You say that like you don't do the same, so don't even start, man!

[ He might be calling it like it is! But it's not like he's the only one here!

Even if he just outright... admitted shit, but DETAILS. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

My point still stands!

[And is supported by the words from Zack's very mouth!]

[heroproceeding]

Whatever, Kitsul!

[ And he might even be sticking his tongue out now like the adult he is! ]