[network] @captaininvincible; public survey; Evening 64 [open] [language warning]

[notaquaman]

AUDIO

[This post appears on the network with no preamble and no context. Well, the context isn't terribly hard to figure out, especially for anyone who's already dealt with Nathan since his arrival two mornings past. Seems like this guy just really likes to find reasons to listen to himself talk.]

What would you consider better to use as a lubricant:

A: Soap
or
B: Gel

I'm leaning toward the gel on account of its soothing aloe vera ingredients. But they do say that cleanliness and close to godliness, so one can't rule out the soap. Thoughts? Opinions? I'm asking for a friend.

[A hesitation, and then he decides to ask another question.]

While we're at it, any MacGyver enthusiasts out there with suggestions for the best way to turn baby clothes into something actually useful to keep warm with? I was thinking some sort of cap, but this really isn't cutting it.

Comments

[swatsflies]

You're the one asking questions on what to use. Don't think you're the best source for information.

Isn't that for treating burns and softening skin, not preventing them?

Not answering that. It's none of your business.

[He really doesn't want another Dr. Grinch Hotstud incident.]

[notaquaman]

Well by that logic if it softens the skin it shouldn't irritate it, too, yeah?

[Ahahaha he's totally got your number there, wise guy. Try countering THAT brilliant comeback.]

Alright, I won't force the truth out of you. I'll just make assumptions. About the truth.

[swatsflies]

If your friend wants to risk it then whatever, man.
Why would you even want to make assumptions about that?

[notaquaman]

[What friend? Oh, right, yeah, the fake one. He almost forgot. Nice save.]

Thanks, man. I'll pass on your pearls of wisdom.

[Nathan shrugs, totally forgetting for a second that he doesn't have the video feed on. He's never been much of an Internet person. Always preferred the face-to-face. Except in instances where someone wants to cause him bodily harm, but you know.]

No real reason. Just potential rumor spreading later.

[swatsflies]

Frickin hell. You'd get along great with Dr. Grinch Hotstud.
Also lay off of Jim.

[notaquaman]

Jesus, can nobody take a joke around here? The cold freeze everyone's sense of humor, too?

[No, admin, you can't take his sense of humor away from him! He's too young and too beautiful and too funny no matter what anyone says!]

[swatsflies]

[Yes, admin, take it away with the drugs. Or give him back the drugs if he's better that way?]

There's a difference between joking and sexual harassment.
How old are you anyways?

text; @JPHawkins /threadjacks gently into the night

[rattlingthestars]

Whoa, hey, nobody's harassing me. I can take care of myself, anyway.

[notaquaman]

Yeah! What he said! Who am I harassing? I'm not making a pass at you. Trust me, you'd know the difference if I was.

[It would go something along the lines of "hey, how about you and I get it on?" but probably way more lewd. The point is! Geeze! Offensive! Wow!]

Why do you want to know how old I am? I'm old enough. Got all my parts grown in, I can drink, go to prison, all that shit.

action and text combined to form voltron

[swatsflies]

[Looking over to Jim.]

But he- [And whatever he was going to counter with pretty much died. Instead he'll huff and then scoot closer to him.] Sorry, man.

[And back to Nathan. WHOA HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MAKING PASSES]
I SAID NOTHING ABOUT MAKING A PASS.

[He's seen him at work with Tifa...]

You sound like you're a teenage.
Didn't know there was an age limit for prison.

[notaquaman]

[Nathan snorts.]

Never heard of juvie? I'm not a teenager. I'm gearing up to enjoy the rest of my twenties to the best of my ability. By which I mean being a complete fuck-up and partying until my liver is black and useless and I've completely lost my senses.

[You can't judge him if he admits it himself!]

[swatsflies]

Twenties???
WHOA. Really?
Well, if that's your goal then good luck, man. Alcohol is pretty rare around here.
What's a juvie?

[notaquaman]

Oh come on, it's not that hard to imagine. Is it the accent? Don't knock a man for what he can't control!

[Just because his voice is high pitched and it cracks sometimes especially when he laughs or screams and he talks really fast, it doesn't mean anything! Wow! He's an adult!]

Juvenile Detention! It's where kids go when they break the law but it's not anything hardcore enough to lock them up with the rapists and murdering freaks, yeah? So budding junkies, kleptomaniacs, general crazy kids that need straightening out. That kinda bullshit.

[swatsflies]

Nothing to do with the accent. Just your priorities.

[And haha...oh. Kid prison]

They don't have separate prisons like that where I'm from.

[notaquaman]

I don't know what you're talking about. My priorities are right where they need to be: cock, face, livelihood, and then everything else.

[Isn't it true for every guy? Cock first, always cock first!]

[swatsflies]

[Looking over at Jim as if to ask, but then decides against it for now.]

More worried about the livelihood of my friends first. Then my own and after that is the rest of that stuff.

[Not for this one, but he was put through school to become a mercenary.]