[network|text] @quark; i will carry it along; Night 376 [open] [cw: suicidal ideation in a child]

[averytinyparticle]

[When Quark wakes up, his first thoughts revolve around actions and actions alone: get out of the bodybag, get off the table, figure out where he is, when it is, what time it is. All of these things are easy. He has no apparently-physical losses from revival, which he figures is a good sign. It looks like it's only been about two days, which isn't bad, either. It's already after lockdown, so he has some time to regroup. Messages from his grandpa--he should definitely get those soon, when he's finished checking what else he's missed.

And then he sees Kesara's name on the morning's obituary, and everything that he should be doing, everything logical and rational, flies somewhere far away.

What's the point? What's ever been the point?

He has the urge to throw his tablet and finds he can't squash it. He has the urge to kick the furniture and bang on the walls and he can't stop himself.

When Quark picks his tablet back up again, he sticks to text when he comes back to the network.]

im alive again
does anyone have any stupid or dangerous suggestions?

[He knows it isn't a good idea, but, again, he can't stop himself. It's what he wants to say, so he just says it.]

Comments

@funyarinpa | text

[fiftheclipse]

[He's alive. He's really alive. Even though he hadn't responded to those messages...

It takes a moment to process. One problem being those words don't really seem right. They don't, but, Junpei's also much more aware than usual at the moment of how text can mess with the intended tone. So this is.. this is some sort of joke, right? The kid's probably mad about what happened and wants to make it clear. After all, there wouldn't have been as many deaths if they hadn't turned their need to protect each other into a competition.]

What, like thinking you know better than me when I tell you something?

[And there that problem is again-- the harshness behind Junpei's own scolding words likely coming across as his usual sarcasm. ... But maybe that's a good thing. It's less of a scene, if nothing else, and he should use that to move on to something.. easier to handle.]

As soon as you can get going in the morning, try to meet up with Angel, alright? She shouldn't be too far away.
I'll get Diana and head back over.

[averytinyparticle]

i do know better than you

[Quark punches in a reflexive, smart-mouthed response. It's absolutely unlike him--even in the grip of a temper tantrum, he's never so casually snide. But it makes him upset--more upset.]

[fiftheclipse]

[Hey. Don't just cut the sentence off where it's convenient!]

That obituary's saying otherwise.

[Because if Quark had just listened, he wouldn't have ended up on it. Diana would've taken him back to safety. It would've been fine. Instead, they didn't even do a single thing in there that Junpei couldn't have managed on his own.

It's hard to not just argue every detail of this whole thing. But. People could get the wrong impression. And he doesn't feel like switching to private-- he'd want to switch over to video, too, and like this.. it's not really an option.]

But if you're sure about that, tell me what you're going to do, first thing, tomorrow.

[The correct answer is "find Angel."

Come on, kid. You got this.]

@guardian; text;

[phaseshifter]

Well, I'm sure some people would think that meeting up with me would be a stupid and dangerous idea considering some of my life choices
Wanna do it anyway?

[ do as your grandpa tells you young man!!! ]

[averytinyparticle]

yeah thats fine
where are you?

[He doesn't have any reason to feel irrationally frustrated with Angel, so it's fine! She's too nice!]

[phaseshifter]

I'm not far. Just a little to the northwest! 330 on House's map?
Unfortunately there isn't really anything stupid and/or dangerous to do here but I'm sure we can find *something* as we get moving
Or I suppose it might be sorta ill-advised if you eat the rest of my candy stash?? Because, you know. Sugar! It's bad for you.

[ LIVING ON THE *EDGE* ]

@ASolomons; audio

[devoutish]

Yeah, I suggest laying off of those for a bit, mate.

[just

maybe consider that]

[averytinyparticle]

[What's consideration? Never heard of it.]

cant think of anything else better to do besides sit around with my thoughts

audio

[devoutish]

You can talk. Come on audio, Quark.

@totheark; text; private

[0thingsonmymind]

*The others didn't seem so pleased with Quark's request, so he makes sure this is private before offering help.*

thereis that
che st
in rad io act ive zo ne

didtry
?

private;

[averytinyparticle]

oh
thanks for reminding me
things got crazy so i never had the chance to go back
ill see if miss angel will go with me there

[It's the perfect suggestion!]

@hotstud_xxx; text (cw: mention of suicidal ideations)

[rubikscomplex]

[There's something inside of him that unclenches just the tiniest bit when he sees this. Quark is alive. Apparently suicidally reckless, but alive.]

no one's tried that galaxy key thing on the one locked building up in the northeast corner of the industrial zone
also wondering if the cult data ghosts are still active up there
it feels empty in most of the buildings we've been in
like it did in the sung's place
after we found his death vid
it'd be worth checking

[And it would be a certain level of dangerous without being too dangerous and also getting the kid away from the bunker where he died. Getting up there will likely take long enough for the death price to wear off, too.]

[averytinyparticle]

[He's becoming uncomfortably like you, House. Little by little.]

awesome thanks
ill see how fast i can get there and record as much as i can
its really starting to feel like there isnt much left in this place

[In more ways than one. Cold has started to take on a whole new meaning.]

@carcinoGeneticist; text

[quadrangle]

HEY HOW ABOUT DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND TRUSTING OTHER PEOPLE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. WHAT'S STUPIDER AND MORE DANGEROUS THAN THAT?

[He's. Only partially serious.]

[averytinyparticle]

[Is he, though.]

trusting anyone does get you fucked real fast around here huh?

[Language!!! :( ]

@crane, video

[revenantking]

[Thankfully, Roland doesn't have to sleep on his worry. His relief is obvious when Quark's message comes up on the network, though his aching concern persists. This message does nothing to allay his suspicions that Junpei had involved him in something well over his head.

Still, Roland decides it might be best to avoid confronting the elephant in the room, especially since the two of them were still, effectively, strangers. He starts up the video feed with a neutral smile on his face, as though he hadn't read the contents of Quark's message. He doesn't expect Quark to follow suit and enter a video call, but it's important he gets his polite mannerisms across. Sometimes, modelling decent behavior was enough to make his son feel embarrassed of his own temper tantrums.]

I'm glad to see you're safe. A lot of us were very worried about you - especially Junpei.

[...Just like how Roland can't help but feel embarrassed that he gave Junpei a good reaming out, for example.]

How do you feel?

[He's always liked that phrase more than expectation-laden phrases like 'are you okay?' or 'will you be alright?']

text;

[averytinyparticle]

[Sorry, Roland. Normally, Quark would be happy to match video for video...but, well, it's not very happy. And he feels like he's not really in control of himself or his emotions. Which...is because...he absolutely isn't.]

i dont feel like myself

@curiouschloride | text

[motherserpent]

[Well that's worrying. Others seem to have jumped in and given him suggestions on where to go and not die, but Tess still chimes in.]

Always, but that's why no one should listen to me. Looks like you've already got a job or two, but have you considered eating your feelings instead?

[averytinyparticle]

i dont really have very much to do that with

[But he'd probably take that as an option if he considered it one, honestly.]

i could really go for some root beer

@thebigc; text

[onlytwothings]

[ When Wilson sees this, he gets the overwhelming urge to break something in half.

As far as he's concerned, Quark's been through the ringer, and it's not fair. Nothing about this situation is fair, but Quark's a kid, and that makes it worse somehow. ]

I'm sorry.
I- Don't have anything to offer, in terms of what you're asking for.

[ His conscience would smite him if he did. ]

I don't really have anything to offer at all, other than a listening ear. And that's not really a solution.

[averytinyparticle]

thats okay
thanks anyway dr wilson

[Quark sighs to himself. There's guilt in his stomach for making so many people worry and for making them feel bad, but it's squashed beneath his irrational want to barrel forward.]

i dont know if i really feel like talking right now
but maybe later when ive been awake for a bit longer

[warriorscribe]

[Oh no, poor kid. Enoch had been beating himself up over Angel's death so badly that Quark dying had seen a delayed reaction. Which, of course, seeing this message makes him feel heartless and guilty and he needs to look after Quark now.]

Quark, I know you're eager to help, and I know this place hurts, but risking your life for the sake of it isn't going to help either of these things.

[He'd ask about the medicine he gave him but he wants to figure out what Quark lost first.]

[averytinyparticle]

i know

[He does know, he knows--but everything feels so wrong and broken right now. What's he supposed to do with all of this?]

but i dont want to stop moving
and nothing matters anyway

@bluebird, text

[plaguenurse]

[It looks like Quark woke up around the same time that Diana did. But, obviously, he's in a very different place--and something is wrong, the way he's talking.

She tries to push aside her own fear and worry. With limited success, but that's what texting is for, right? She has to be brave to help Quark with what he's dealing with. Everyone else is already lecturing him, and Diana isn't very good at confrontation like that anyway, so she tries a gentler approach.]

We could still play duck, duck, goose. Someone might slip and fall!

[averytinyparticle]

[He can't help himself from smiling at the text, even if he feels like crying as much as he feels like smiling. Quark hangs his head.]

id really like that miss diana
and im sorry