[network] @ADMIN; Arrival [open]

[snowblindmods]

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Comments

[rubikscomplex]

I dunno. Getting a Klondike Bar? I hear guys do all sorts of crazy things for those. And really, if you managed to avoid face-melting rain in that little jaunt, it's hardly anything to write home about. What exactly were you saving it from?

[whiteknightnecromancer]

You're just stringing noises together now, aren't you?

A Chantry fable. One of the magisters who breached the Fade and unleashed the Blight on the world returned and is making a go at breaching the Fade again. If he succeeds, it would be the end of the world as we know it. Who knows what he could unleash this time?

[Dorian's tone remained sardonic.]

It seemed worthwhile to stop him.

[rubikscomplex]

You think I'm the one just stringing noises together? You sound like you just stepped out of a fantasy novel. You're seriously playing up the Renaissance festival act.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

But you recognize them as words, do you not? Whatever a Clawndite is, I have no idea.

Kaffas!

[rubikscomplex]

No, actually, not in the context you're using them. What the hell is the Fade? The Blight? Are we talking plague of locust?

Also, you were seriously deprived as a child if you don't know what a Klondike Bar is. Ice cream. Chocolate shell.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

Chocolate? The brown bitter stuff the Qunari drink? Yes, I feel so deprived not getting to mix that with ice and cream.

[Milk chocolate hasn't been discovered yet in Dorian's world.]

Wait, Ellana warned me about this. Your world has no Blight? Lucky you. It's darkspawn. Tainted creatures who exist solely to pass on the taint. Whenever they find one of the Old Gods in their digging, they Blight him, and he rises as an archdemon to lead them in war against every other living thing.

[That seemed like a good place to start.]

[rubikscomplex]

Ice cream. Not ice and cream, genius. Frozen cream. [Seriously, how can this guy not know what ice cream is?] And the brown bitter stuff can be sweet, you know?

[He could almost feel bad for this guy. Almost. Except he's insane. Yep.]

So... basically, they're politicians. Cool. We get that problem around campaign season every year.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

You mean sherbet? Who kept sticking it in their mouth to find that out?

And because of your weather, campaign season is in the spring or the summer? [He did get that he was being made fun of.]

[rubikscomplex]

Some idiot with a frozen desserts fetish? We should thank the men who came before us, not look down on them, bro.

[No, they should definitely look down on them.]

Well, that would depend on if they're running for president. That's kind of a year-and-a-half long extravaganza of morons getting up to tell us how everything sucks and they're going to fix it.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

I thought the men who came before should be thanked for giving me an example not to follow.

Yes, I can see where that would sound exactly like darkspawn. Truly, you are a wonderful listener with an incredible knack for making connections. How do you do it?

[Dorian feels a little homesick for Vivienne and being compared to a rat or a cockroach every five minutes.]

[rubikscomplex]

The ones who died, sure. They were the idiots, though. Ice cream. Trust me. Just try it. You seem like a vanilla guy, so maybe start with that. There has to be ice cream in the land of ice and snow.

And it's just my natural talent. People tell me listening's my best quality. I mean apart from my eyes. I get a lot of compliments on those, too.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

Seeing as they're all dead, I'm going to take that as agreement. I'm still not sure how more ice would be an improvement but to each their own I suppose.

It'd have to be natural. I hate to think what would happen if you practiced.

[rubikscomplex]

You do whatever it is that makes you feel good, buddy. I'm all about live and let live. I was more into live and let die back in the 70s, but I thought I should take more optimistic approach. I'm just a happy person who likes seeing others happy. [Also a sarcastic person who... likes being sarcastic.]

And the world might actually implode if I practiced. Felled under the weight of my awesome listening prowess. Or my batting lashes. You can't be too sure.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

Yes, the happiness and optimism practically drip from you. Keep it up. It's working wonders.

Then it's fortunate we'll never have to find out. Maybe we should take precautions just in case. If you ever feel the urge to become a better listener, go lay down until it passes. Preferably someplace where there's no one to listen to.

[rubikscomplex]

In the snow, maybe? Without a coat?

[House smirks to himself.]

Well, Romeo, it's been real, but I'm getting close to somewhere more interesting than this conversation. Catch you on the flip side.

[whiteknightnecromancer]

[Dorian makes a disapproving sound. He's more lonely and cranky than actually vindictive and being that blatant isn't his style. Don't explain the joke.]

That doesn't sound difficult. Have fun. [He fumbles the off button.]