[log] The Pit [open]

[snowblindmods]

Characters: Anyone participating in the Pit event.
Location: A room.
Date: Day 330
Summary: You wake up in a room.
Warnings: general warnings; potential for morbid/suicidal thoughts; note specific warnings in subject line, please!

Comments

snagging a

[lacecase]

[Ginger is more worried than startled when Enoch bumps into her. Instinctively her hands grip onto his upper arms--meant to steady him, but she doesn't let go.]

Oh no, no no sweetheart, I'm just fine. Just fine.

[She keeps Enoch close, her heart aching, and she can't decide if her feelings stem more from a sorrow that he's been put into such a state or simply being happy to see him again.]

[warriorscribe]

[He sags to just rest on his knees when he feels hands supporting him, leaning forward into the other person's hold. The familiar voice dredges up...something. Wakes his mind a little further.]

Ginger? It's been a long time...

[lacecase]

Yes, it has.

[Oh, her poor, tired sad friend. She lets him lean into her as much as he needs to and puts an arm around him.]

I'm sorry it couldn't, like, be for a different reason. But it's always so nice to see your face.

[warriorscribe]

[He looks up at her, face haggard and sunken with lack of sleep and poor diet. After a moment of trying to find something to say in the murk and haze in his mind and utterly failing, he just wraps his arms around her and pulls her into a hug.]

[lacecase]

[He doesn't need to say anything. She accepts his embrace and returns it fiercely. It feels like a dagger in her chest to see him this way. She can remember Enoch, the way he was when she first met him. When they both still had Clayton. It's like a whole planet has come in between them. Why hadn't she checked in with him? Should she have stayed by his side? Should she have insisted, those months ago? Would it have changed anything? The guilt makes her head spin.]

I'll stay here with you as long as you need.

[warriorscribe]

[Nothing feels like enough anymore but this is better than nothing at all. His breathing slows as he sinks forward, slumping in his drug-induced drowsiness. Ginger is so nice - has always been wonderful to him. She doesn't deserve this place. She's always tried to comfort him...it's unfortunate how many of the memories are in the dreamlike fog of the false future.

He still remembers her presence as comforting though, real or not. It's enough to begin to lure him towards whatever degree of calm he can manage. Except...that's a bad idea. He knows what will happen if he lets himself relax too much right now.]

N-no... [He tenses up, no longer leaning as much of his weight into her, but he doesn't let go.] ...I can't go back to sleep now.

[He has enough awareness to mumble an addition:] It would be rude of me. So rude of me.

[lacecase]

No, no, it isn't rude.

[She rubs his back as she holds him. He's so tired...so exhausted. And not just in a normal, physical way. She's seen this before, some of these signs.]

Depression is really hard, but what it causes isn't anything you have to blame yourself for.

[warriorscribe]

[Despite his sleep deprivation, something in her tone strikes him. Even at her most solemn and serious, something like this...]

You...you sound like you know.

[Which is his own sleepily ineloquent way of saying she knows by experience, but he's still actively fighting sleep and doesn't think to say it. Hopefully the emphasis carried that much, or something like it.]

[lacecase]

I guess I do and I don't.

[She can feel her expression changing into something more haunted than she means to, and she's glad that Enoch's positioned the way that he is. Her tone softens.]

My sister had really bad depression. She tried to hide it from me until...it doesn't matter. She just couldn't anymore. I asked John for some antidepressants a while back, but I felt like I was...I was, like, wasting resources, so I asked him to cancel of my prescription.

[warriorscribe]

I feel the same. About the...resources. But that's- I don't think it's the same reason.

[Actually his issue with antidepressants is a little more tangled than that. If no less unfounded.

He pauses, blinks himself awake multiple times as he continues. Because there's something that needs to be said here. She's given him one of her problems to work on, to distract him.]

If you recognize it in yourself, because of her, you should... You're not a waste. You help people, with your sewing. With your games and your cheer, and the less...the less...fake those feel to you, the better it will be - for you and everyone. Everyone who would...find strength in them.