[network] @hotstud_xxx; Day 314; audio [open] (cw: there may be graphic discussion of illness)

[rubikscomplex]

[This is Christmas. House's idea of Christmas, anyway. Sudden onset of deadly illnesses with disjointed and impossible progression of symptoms, and him not affected? Christmas! Someone out there loves him. Granted, he might not be able to help anyone get better and that's lame, but answers. Answers are something he is particularly prepared to provide. House is also curious if there's some psychosomatic effect at work here that might let him influence people. He goes on audio for this, and someone sounds almost gleeful.]

Hello, sick people! Dr. House here. I am a board certified medical professional and tenured professor of diagnostics at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in Princeton, New Jersey. I have a double specialty infectious disease and nephrology and head the only Department of Diagnostic Medicine in the world in my universe.

All that said... tell me what ails you, Snowhell. Details required. Pics if you need them. Allow me to diagnose you. This service is free of charge for today only! Or however long this whole thing lasts. I'll even prescribe you meds if they're relevant to your condition. Step right up, then! Don't be shy.

It should go without saying, but I am limited to identification and diagnosis of Earth-based diseases. So if you've got a different name in your universe for the measels, I'm still calling them the measels.

((OOC: While House is an ace diagnostician, I am very much not. It would be helpful for me if you could indicate the disease or diseases your character is suffering from for the event or indicate that the constellation of symptoms was pulled at random/non-Earth-based.))

Comments

[sleight_of_fate]

[You were the one that kicked everyone out so you could play with serial killers, House.

Suffer.]

It's an ongoing war with many weapons to be brought to bear.

[rubikscomplex]

[He kicked everyone out so the serial killers wouldn't target them, thank you!]

Godspeed, Private Ryan.

[sleight_of_fate]

[It's so darling that you think Rhys hasn't dealt with serial killers before, House. In his world, the serial killers can do things like shapeshift, control your mind, and grow back missing limbs.]

I'll send you a message from the front lines in anything comes to mind. Or if there's wedding bells, I'll make sure you get the first invitation.

[And because he's tired and there's nothing more useful to add to this conversation, he'll hang up before he starts coughing again.]