[network] @hotstud_xxx; Day 314; audio [open] (cw: there may be graphic discussion of illness)

[rubikscomplex]

[This is Christmas. House's idea of Christmas, anyway. Sudden onset of deadly illnesses with disjointed and impossible progression of symptoms, and him not affected? Christmas! Someone out there loves him. Granted, he might not be able to help anyone get better and that's lame, but answers. Answers are something he is particularly prepared to provide. House is also curious if there's some psychosomatic effect at work here that might let him influence people. He goes on audio for this, and someone sounds almost gleeful.]

Hello, sick people! Dr. House here. I am a board certified medical professional and tenured professor of diagnostics at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in Princeton, New Jersey. I have a double specialty infectious disease and nephrology and head the only Department of Diagnostic Medicine in the world in my universe.

All that said... tell me what ails you, Snowhell. Details required. Pics if you need them. Allow me to diagnose you. This service is free of charge for today only! Or however long this whole thing lasts. I'll even prescribe you meds if they're relevant to your condition. Step right up, then! Don't be shy.

It should go without saying, but I am limited to identification and diagnosis of Earth-based diseases. So if you've got a different name in your universe for the measels, I'm still calling them the measels.

((OOC: While House is an ace diagnostician, I am very much not. It would be helpful for me if you could indicate the disease or diseases your character is suffering from for the event or indicate that the constellation of symptoms was pulled at random/non-Earth-based.))

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

necrosis!
one of my favorites

[Yes, he's that kind of asshole and Alfie's suffering, in particular, delights him, even if he's still going to help.]

where is the skin turning black?
is it at random?
or has it started in your extremities?
fingers
toes
noes
ears

[devoutish]

It's not me.

Starting in the extremities. One hand is the worst off. Feet are starting in with it as well. Black patches and boils under his arms.

[rubikscomplex]

[Oh. It's Melborn. That's only moderately less exciting. He doesn't particularly like Royce either, so that's fine. He doesn't hate him like Alfie, but indifference is usually ideal for a patient.]

how big are the patches?
a picture would legit help, dude
i'm only as good as the data i have

[devoutish]

[What follows is a set of photographs very thoroughly documenting the necrosis on Royce's hands and feet and the plague boils on his underarms. There are twenty-six in total, showing each spot from several different angles and levels of zoom. One hand is the worst off, with the skin dead and peeling. His other hand and both his feet are better, but they still have dark patches.]

[rubikscomplex]

classic bubonic plague look
i'd ask if he's been hanging out with any flea-infested rats
but i'm kinda picturing us eating those suckers if they ever turn up

that cough and the blood say there's some pneumonic in there, too
or something else with lung involvement
tb's another possibility

any chest pain beyond what's being caused by the cough?

[devoutish]

[There's a brief pause before the response comes.]

He says everything hurts, yes.

[rubikscomplex]

is the pain aching?
stabbing?
concentrated?
yes
everything hurts
but where does it hurt most?

[devoutish]

An aching chest, he says. He's not very coherent just now.

[rubikscomplex]

unfortunately, i can't do a whole hell of a lot to narrow the field without more equipment to test with
or being there to examine him
best advice for now:
keep him lying down and force him to drink
even if he doesn't want to
turn him on his side if it seems like he's gonna be throwing up or hacking up too much phlegm
it'll keep him from drowning in his own vomit or blood
keep a blanket over him
if it doesn't let up by tomorrow
we can reevaluate
the cure for plague is potent antibiotics
usually administered in a hospital
it's not just something he can take pills for
so that makes things complicated
it'll probably be over by tomorrow, though

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[There is at least that.

This is also where most people would say thank you, but fuck that, Alfie's not doing it.]

[rubikscomplex]

[You gave him the plague to diagnose. For an infectious disease guy, that's thank you enough. He wasn't particularly expecting any gratitude from people, either.]