[network] @hotstud_xxx; Day 314; audio [open] (cw: there may be graphic discussion of illness)

[rubikscomplex]

[This is Christmas. House's idea of Christmas, anyway. Sudden onset of deadly illnesses with disjointed and impossible progression of symptoms, and him not affected? Christmas! Someone out there loves him. Granted, he might not be able to help anyone get better and that's lame, but answers. Answers are something he is particularly prepared to provide. House is also curious if there's some psychosomatic effect at work here that might let him influence people. He goes on audio for this, and someone sounds almost gleeful.]

Hello, sick people! Dr. House here. I am a board certified medical professional and tenured professor of diagnostics at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in Princeton, New Jersey. I have a double specialty infectious disease and nephrology and head the only Department of Diagnostic Medicine in the world in my universe.

All that said... tell me what ails you, Snowhell. Details required. Pics if you need them. Allow me to diagnose you. This service is free of charge for today only! Or however long this whole thing lasts. I'll even prescribe you meds if they're relevant to your condition. Step right up, then! Don't be shy.

It should go without saying, but I am limited to identification and diagnosis of Earth-based diseases. So if you've got a different name in your universe for the measels, I'm still calling them the measels.

((OOC: While House is an ace diagnostician, I am very much not. It would be helpful for me if you could indicate the disease or diseases your character is suffering from for the event or indicate that the constellation of symptoms was pulled at random/non-Earth-based.))

Comments

[slapthelibrarian]

it's the best word that i could think of
and it's not wrong
i didn't mean it to sound bad

[ It's not meant to be an insult. Seriously, Flynn. She's having difficulty stringing sentences together, and gargoyle was the first thing that came to mind. ]

[cahooted]

but do you like gargoyles

they are iused to protedct buildingfds from too much water damage but in the etymology they alaso protect what they guard from harmful spirits

illj fight off the evil spirits

[Don't mind him. He's just really feverish.]

drwa a cockface for house

[slapthelibrarian]

no
but protection from the spirits doesn't sound bad
i'm supposed to protect you

[ She's feverish too, but not enough to stop insisting that it's her job to protect him. ]

a what

[cahooted]

but do you like me
you can protect me when you are well again
ill let you protedct all youi want but now you rest

[He hates this touchscreen technology so much.]

hourface

[slapthelibrarian]

of course i like you
i liked you from the beginning
on that airplane

[ Later, when she's recovered, and if she remembers this conversation, she's going to be horrified that she admitted to that. ]

oh
all right

[ That, she knows how to draw. ]

[cahooted]

oh good me too im glasd
you were amazing on that airplanhe
okay now show it to hjim then oyu can get better thats very important

[Priorities!]

[slapthelibrarian]

i was also a bit rude but
i was trying to save you

and what if i don't?
how is showing him that going to make me better?
you need to get better too

[ Priorities right back at you, Flynn! ]

[cahooted]

i knowits okay cause you did
he needs it to dagosetrz

[Ugh.]

diagnoise
ill rest better when i know about you
you want me to rest so you should get diagnosed
its only logical nicole

[slapthelibrarian]

the logical approach
who can argue with that?
oh, wait
i can

if i get diagnosed, you have to promise to rest
no arguing

[cahooted]

kjdfkhgsdjchsh
xciokjdskj

[Yes, he is literally keyboardsmashing, so mature.]

ok
i pmromise
we both rest

[slapthelibrarian]

what is that
you're not having seizures too

[ Seriously, Flynn. She's worried out of her mind about you, and that isn't helping. ]

i'm holding you to that
no weaseling out of it on a loophole

[cahooted]

no
its the tablet

[And being outmaneuvered in an argument but neither here nor there!]

you too
imean you neither
no weaseling

[slapthelibrarian]

all right
sorry
i'm worried about you

[ All arguing aside. ]

no weaseling

[cahooted]

i know
im woried about you too

deal

[slapthelibrarian]

good
now that that's cleared up
let's just get our diagnoses so we can rest

[ If they can, anyway. ]

[cahooted]

ok
love yuo