@w.graham; night 299 - video [ Let reports of questionable life choices continue! ]

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

[OOC - CW: Mention of self harm]

[ Good evening fellow snobos, it would appear that the reports of questionable life choices continues to roll in; Rhys started a trend.

It is another video, coming from the user name w.graham and featuring that same gentleman. It’s hard to tell if he looks worse than before, because he tended to look terrible in general. What is different is he looks a bit more exasperated than he had the last time.

As he takes a breath to start speaking, the voice of one Gregory House, comes across first, calling from somewhere off screen. ]

Don't forget to call them snowhellions! And remember it's Hotstud first! Then Graham Cracker.

[ Will just sighs and rubs his hand over his face, before he gets started. ]



Good evening.

House and I have a couple of new discoveries we've been tracking over the past week or two and inspired by Rhys, we thought we'd share...

First things first! If you change something in a place, freaking tell me. I maintain the building guide and map, people. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not psychic. You move crap, paint new symbols, or smash in symbols tell me. And get before and after pics. I don't need a conversation. Neither of us wants a conversation, just where, what, and pics or it didn't happen!

[ Will pauses for a moment, his eyes casting towards the direction the voice is speaking, and he’ll inquire, with polite sarcasm. ]

Done? [ There is a pause and a slight narrowing of his eyes, before he remarks in a flat tone. ] As a doctor you know that’s a physical impossibility.

[ A pause, an eyebrow lift -the rude gestures were getting more creative here- and Will shook his head and turned back to the camera. ]

I’ve been told to keep this short, so here goes. We also discovered in building 217 that a combination of blood and fire will result in instant cult membership. [ Here Will rolled up his sleeve, exposing his forearm, complete with healing laceration and the prophet eye burned into the skin above where he’d sliced himself open.

After giving the audience a good view he lowered his arm and took a breath, only to be interrupted again. ]

Don't let Graham Cracker sell you on the platinum membership, folks. The fees include your first-born child, two pints of blood, and a patch of skin. And that doesn't even get you access to the topless lounge. But if you're really in for it, just drip some blood, light a little fire, and you’re good to go. Matching brands and everything.

Did you want to do this? Because I can turn this camera around and... yeah, that’s what I thought.

In building 213 we tried a little tyger, tyger burning bright at night. For those of you who have just arrived, that is the building where Winter died. Apparently if you set the walls on fire, it makes them scream. Like a woman, or a child and the screaming only lets up once the fire wanes.

I think we should light a fire somewhere else. Test this more thoroughly; we’d need a lot more wood though.

Or some bodies.

And this is why people don't wanna be friends with you, Graham Cracker.

Okay back to what matters. Woman or child makes me think Winter or Sam, take your pick. Also the knives stuck in there still won't come out but I couldn't taste anything interesting on 'em.

We do have record of the screaming, if anyone wants to listen for themselves.

Finally the pool in building 216 is a bust. We cracked open the eyes at the bottom, I tried to get a read on the scene, but came up blank, and Mr. Oral fixation over here tried tasting the paint, nothing.

About the only evidence we could nail down was that the symbols look like they were all done around the same time, at least, and same color, but no way to tell if it was more than one person.

[ House's disembodied voice is still coming from somewhere off screen as he takes the wrap-up. ]

Anyone else wanna share? Already tracking the magic brigade over at the high school so we can skip that.

[OOC: House is all comments in blue
Will is all comments in purple
Responses will come from both of them! Assume House is audio only, unless otherwise noted in the comment header! ]

Comments

[zunesareawesome]

Ouch.

You have a point.

I'd just rather not get eaten by an arcane monster of doom.

offscreen on Peter's feed

[thewarningafter]

Little late for that kind of wishful thinking.

And offscreen from Will's

[rubikscomplex]

Anomalies aren't arcane, Stevie.

[zunesareawesome]

Whatever, can I just not get eaten?

still offscreen

[thewarningafter]

Wasn't talking about the anomalies!

cw: NSFW mention of kinks

[rubikscomplex]

It's not Cthulhu's cousin under the town, either. And no, Quilliam. You always get eaten. Evie and Miller are into vore.

@beyonce | audio

[thewarningafter]

[Okay, he's finally tuning in himself.]

What proof do you have of that claim?

[rubikscomplex]

[Hi, Stephen. Go screw yourself.]

Secret sex fiend code. You wouldn't understand.

[thewarningafter]

If you were into vore you wouldn't be on your way to becoming a walking skeleton. You know what I meant, House.

cw: disordered eating

[rubikscomplex]

[House bristles internally. He doesn't particularly like his eating habits (or lack thereof) aired to the public.]

I can be into a lot of things without acting on them. And everyone here is on their way to be a walking skeleton. Congrats on being one of the guys who has the space to carry extra rations.

cw: disordered eating

[thewarningafter]

[Oh, is that resentment he hears? Time to press that button again, even if it makes him sound like a nagging grandmother.]

I guess you'd know all about my extra rations, considering how often you dodged eating them.

cw: disordered eating

[rubikscomplex]

It's considered dodging not to take other people's things? Damn, where've you been all my life, Stevie? That shoplifting rap sheet in high school was a crime.

[More like college. He wouldn't have dared when he was still living with his father. And he'd never actually been caught the one or two times he tried it. Life was easier just manipulating people for what he wanted most of the time. Well, part from the food at the hospital cafeteria.]

cw: disordered eating

[thewarningafter]

Oh, right, sorry. I forgot we were pretending you weren't a charity case.

cw: disordered eating

[rubikscomplex]

I'm pretty sure you're the charity case. Both my hands work and I'm a contributing member of snowhell society. What've you managed to do here?

[zunesareawesome]

Quilliam, really?

I'm making it a goal not to get eaten. I really like not getting eaten.

[rubikscomplex]

Suit yourself. Just saying it'll probably happen, bro.

[zunesareawesome]

You're psychic now?

[rubikscomplex]

You know... I might just be. Quick, think of a number between one and ten, double it, add on 4, divide it by two, and subtract the number you started with.

You got the arithmetic down, Petey?

[zunesareawesome]

Wait—huh? No hold on, I got it.

[Maybe. Math wasn’t a strong point.]

[rubikscomplex]

Okay, hold the number in your head. I'm tapping into the psychic waves of the universe. Ohm... Ohm...

I'm seeing. Two. The number you're thinking of now is two.

[zunesareawesome]

[NO WAY THAT WAS REALLY COOL. He can’t keep the astonishment out of his voice.]

That was a lucky guess.

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

Did you ever stop to consider that it might be a friendly monster?

[ His tone is such that it might be hard to tell if he's joking or serious. ]

Maybe it will just rise from wherever such creatures rise from and hand out lollipops.

[zunesareawesome]

If that's the case, I'll eat my jacket.

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

Tsk, so narrow-minded!

[zunesareawesome]

If there is a candy monster here it better show itself soon and start distributing the freebies.