snowblindrpg | @w.graham; night 299 - video [ Let reports of questionable life choices continue! ]

[OOC - CW: Mention of self harm]

[ Good evening fellow snobos, it would appear that the reports of questionable life choices continues to roll in; Rhys started a trend.

It is another video, coming from the user name w.graham and featuring that same gentleman. It’s hard to tell if he looks worse than before, because he tended to look terrible in general. What is different is he looks a bit more exasperated than he had the last time.

As he takes a breath to start speaking, the voice of one Gregory House, comes across first, calling from somewhere off screen. ]

Don't forget to call them snowhellions! And remember it's Hotstud first! Then Graham Cracker.

[ Will just sighs and rubs his hand over his face, before he gets started. ]

Good evening.

House and I have a couple of new discoveries we've been tracking over the past week or two and inspired by Rhys, we thought we'd share...

First things first! If you change something in a place, freaking tell me. I maintain the building guide and map, people. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not psychic. You move crap, paint new symbols, or smash in symbols tell me. And get before and after pics. I don't need a conversation. Neither of us wants a conversation, just where, what, and pics or it didn't happen!

[ Will pauses for a moment, his eyes casting towards the direction the voice is speaking, and he’ll inquire, with polite sarcasm. ]

Done? [ There is a pause and a slight narrowing of his eyes, before he remarks in a flat tone. ] As a doctor you know that’s a physical impossibility.

[ A pause, an eyebrow lift -the rude gestures were getting more creative here- and Will shook his head and turned back to the camera. ]

I’ve been told to keep this short, so here goes. We also discovered in building 217 that a combination of blood and fire will result in instant cult membership. [ Here Will rolled up his sleeve, exposing his forearm, complete with healing laceration and the prophet eye burned into the skin above where he’d sliced himself open.

After giving the audience a good view he lowered his arm and took a breath, only to be interrupted again. ]

Don't let Graham Cracker sell you on the platinum membership, folks. The fees include your first-born child, two pints of blood, and a patch of skin. And that doesn't even get you access to the topless lounge. But if you're really in for it, just drip some blood, light a little fire, and you’re good to go. Matching brands and everything.

Did you want to do this? Because I can turn this camera around and... yeah, that’s what I thought.

In building 213 we tried a little tyger, tyger burning bright at night. For those of you who have just arrived, that is the building where Winter died. Apparently if you set the walls on fire, it makes them scream. Like a woman, or a child and the screaming only lets up once the fire wanes.

I think we should light a fire somewhere else. Test this more thoroughly; we’d need a lot more wood though.

Or some bodies.

And this is why people don't wanna be friends with you, Graham Cracker.

Okay back to what matters. Woman or child makes me think Winter or Sam, take your pick. Also the knives stuck in there still won't come out but I couldn't taste anything interesting on 'em.

We do have record of the screaming, if anyone wants to listen for themselves.

Finally the pool in building 216 is a bust. We cracked open the eyes at the bottom, I tried to get a read on the scene, but came up blank, and Mr. Oral fixation over here tried tasting the paint, nothing.

About the only evidence we could nail down was that the symbols look like they were all done around the same time, at least, and same color, but no way to tell if it was more than one person.

[ House's disembodied voice is still coming from somewhere off screen as he takes the wrap-up. ]

Anyone else wanna share? Already tracking the magic brigade over at the high school so we can skip that.

[OOC: House is all comments in blue
Will is all comments in purple
Responses will come from both of them! Assume House is audio only, unless otherwise noted in the comment header! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My visions of the future can give insight into thought processes that led up to them. So basically the same thing.

[Cas, you're far too easy sometimes.]

No, it's not. You don't have visions of the future.

[ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

I foresaw you'd be a doubter. Such a tragedy, an angel without faith.

You inferred from your existing knowledge of me. That's not true Sight. Guessing at another's reactions, however accurately, is not the same thing as psychic ability or divine revelation.

[ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

Eh, it all comes out the same. So it's the same. Like all squares being rectangles. Just different dimensions of rectangles.

[It's absolutely nothing like that, but he wants to see how far Cas will take this before he hangs up.]

All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares - an ability to intuit the actions and motives of others can come from multiple sources including practiced observation, psychic ability, or divine insight, but that does not make them the same thing.

Rectangles are just squares with longer sides. Like parallelograms. Why you gotta be so shape-ist, Cassie?

You're being obtuse on purpose to frustrate me. Why?

Personally, I think I'm being acute. But I guess you could just call that... my angle.

Edited 2017-12-15 16:16 (UTC)

[ There's something expectant in House's tone that Castiel has learned by now means he's making a joke of some kind. He spends a good several seconds trying to work through what it might be before giving up. ]

Okay. But why?

[House sighs in disappointment.]

They seriously boned you guys in the humor department.

I understand jokes, House. I just don't understand yours. This is pointless antagonism.

Nuh-uh!

Yes, like that. You're still doing it.

Doing what?

Intentionally misunderstanding me in order to force me to explain something you already obviously understand.

I don't understand.

[Hang up, Castiel. For god's sake and your own, hang up. He can keep this up for hours.]

Yes you do. This behavior is the exact thing I'm describing. In what way is it funny to you? How are you deriving entertainment from this?

[ Castiel is five hundred million years old and has spent a great deal of those on such tasks as; minding trilobites, watching moss grow, moving tectonic plates, and listening to Zachariah. His tolerance for inanity runs deeper than any sea. ]

Why do you want to know?

[ That's a good question, and Castiel does actually stop for a moment while he thinks about his response. ]

If I know where the humor is in this, then maybe I'll also find it funny instead of frustrating. Or maybe I'll just understand you and everyone else who does this better.

Why are you frustrated?

[See, what's funny is that you are frustrated. Therein lies the pleasure.]

You're making me explain things that I know you already know, seemingly for the sole purpose of wasting my time and - more notably, because you have so much less of it - yours.

Why do I have less time?

Humans in your era and part of the world live a maximum of 120 years, at the extremes. You will probably live for fewer, barring something to do with this town's strange relationship with time and mortality.

Why will I live fewer?

(no subject)

godsspeed - 2018-01-14 01:13 (UTC) - Expand