@w.graham; night 299 - video [ Let reports of questionable life choices continue! ]

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

[OOC - CW: Mention of self harm]

[ Good evening fellow snobos, it would appear that the reports of questionable life choices continues to roll in; Rhys started a trend.

It is another video, coming from the user name w.graham and featuring that same gentleman. It’s hard to tell if he looks worse than before, because he tended to look terrible in general. What is different is he looks a bit more exasperated than he had the last time.

As he takes a breath to start speaking, the voice of one Gregory House, comes across first, calling from somewhere off screen. ]

Don't forget to call them snowhellions! And remember it's Hotstud first! Then Graham Cracker.

[ Will just sighs and rubs his hand over his face, before he gets started. ]



Good evening.

House and I have a couple of new discoveries we've been tracking over the past week or two and inspired by Rhys, we thought we'd share...

First things first! If you change something in a place, freaking tell me. I maintain the building guide and map, people. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not psychic. You move crap, paint new symbols, or smash in symbols tell me. And get before and after pics. I don't need a conversation. Neither of us wants a conversation, just where, what, and pics or it didn't happen!

[ Will pauses for a moment, his eyes casting towards the direction the voice is speaking, and he’ll inquire, with polite sarcasm. ]

Done? [ There is a pause and a slight narrowing of his eyes, before he remarks in a flat tone. ] As a doctor you know that’s a physical impossibility.

[ A pause, an eyebrow lift -the rude gestures were getting more creative here- and Will shook his head and turned back to the camera. ]

I’ve been told to keep this short, so here goes. We also discovered in building 217 that a combination of blood and fire will result in instant cult membership. [ Here Will rolled up his sleeve, exposing his forearm, complete with healing laceration and the prophet eye burned into the skin above where he’d sliced himself open.

After giving the audience a good view he lowered his arm and took a breath, only to be interrupted again. ]

Don't let Graham Cracker sell you on the platinum membership, folks. The fees include your first-born child, two pints of blood, and a patch of skin. And that doesn't even get you access to the topless lounge. But if you're really in for it, just drip some blood, light a little fire, and you’re good to go. Matching brands and everything.

Did you want to do this? Because I can turn this camera around and... yeah, that’s what I thought.

In building 213 we tried a little tyger, tyger burning bright at night. For those of you who have just arrived, that is the building where Winter died. Apparently if you set the walls on fire, it makes them scream. Like a woman, or a child and the screaming only lets up once the fire wanes.

I think we should light a fire somewhere else. Test this more thoroughly; we’d need a lot more wood though.

Or some bodies.

And this is why people don't wanna be friends with you, Graham Cracker.

Okay back to what matters. Woman or child makes me think Winter or Sam, take your pick. Also the knives stuck in there still won't come out but I couldn't taste anything interesting on 'em.

We do have record of the screaming, if anyone wants to listen for themselves.

Finally the pool in building 216 is a bust. We cracked open the eyes at the bottom, I tried to get a read on the scene, but came up blank, and Mr. Oral fixation over here tried tasting the paint, nothing.

About the only evidence we could nail down was that the symbols look like they were all done around the same time, at least, and same color, but no way to tell if it was more than one person.

[ House's disembodied voice is still coming from somewhere off screen as he takes the wrap-up. ]

Anyone else wanna share? Already tracking the magic brigade over at the high school so we can skip that.

[OOC: House is all comments in blue
Will is all comments in purple
Responses will come from both of them! Assume House is audio only, unless otherwise noted in the comment header! ]

Comments

[zunesareawesome]

[NO WAY THAT WAS REALLY COOL. He can’t keep the astonishment out of his voice.]

That was a lucky guess.

[rubikscomplex]

Only lucky if I can't do it twice. Think of another number. One to ten. Grab a calculator app on your tablet if you need it.

Double the number. Add... mm... twenty. Divide that by two, subtract the number you started with. Got it, pal?

[zunesareawesome]

I don’t need a calculator!

...okay, got it.

[rubikscomplex]

[Sure you don't, Einstein.]

Once more I am tapping into the brainwaves of the universe. Operator? I'm in. Mm... oh! Huh. Interesting choice. I can see it now. You're thinking of ten.

[zunesareawesome]

HOW...

[Gah! This was...no way. Unless he was like Stephen somehow...more magical doctors...]

[rubikscomplex]

I'm psychic.

[You're the one who suggested it first, Peter.]

[zunesareawesome]

DUDE. That’s...

Okay...then what can you tell me about my future?

[rubikscomplex]

Pretty sure I already told you you're getting eaten.

[zunesareawesome]

[Peter feels a cold chil run down his spine.]

...damn it.

[godsspeed]

An equation that asks you to double your number, add another, halve the sum, and then subtract your original number is basically just asking for half of the number added. All the other steps cancel out. House has no more insight into the turn of fate than I do right now.

[rubikscomplex]

I predicted the whole nuclear winter revelation a week after I got here.

[No, he deduced it based on available evidence and horror tropes.]

[godsspeed]

That's a different thing from reading minds or predicting the future, which are also two very different gifts.

[rubikscomplex]

Eh... Close enough for clinic. It's all psychic bullshit.

[No it's not. But getting Cas' feathers ruffled has to be worth something.]

[godsspeed]

Surgery and warfare are both physical 'bullshit' but I don't imagine you'd agree that proficiency in one would necessarily imply the other.

[rubikscomplex]

Wouldn't know. I'm not a surgeon or a soldier. I hear we got a guy who does both here, though. And a wizard who used to do the surgery gig.

[godsspeed]

You know what I mean. Similar skills are not the same and don't apply to each other just because of their similarity.

[rubikscomplex]

One can inform the other. Soldiers and doctors both need to know where the weak points of the body are.

[godsspeed]

Yes, and insight into the thoughts of others can help clarify visions of the future when both abilities are present, but they are not the same and one does not necessarily lead into the other.

[ He's getting agitated, now. This isn't a difficult concept!! ]

[rubikscomplex]

My visions of the future can give insight into thought processes that led up to them. So basically the same thing.

[Cas, you're far too easy sometimes.]

[godsspeed]

No, it's not. You don't have visions of the future.

[ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

[rubikscomplex]

I foresaw you'd be a doubter. Such a tragedy, an angel without faith.

[godsspeed]

You inferred from your existing knowledge of me. That's not true Sight. Guessing at another's reactions, however accurately, is not the same thing as psychic ability or divine revelation.

[ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

[rubikscomplex]

Eh, it all comes out the same. So it's the same. Like all squares being rectangles. Just different dimensions of rectangles.

[It's absolutely nothing like that, but he wants to see how far Cas will take this before he hangs up.]

[zunesareawesome]

[It takes him a second to sort through that.]

...you mean...?

Aw man, now I look foolish! What a jerk!

[godsspeed]

If it's any consolation, you're not the first to be fooled by someone using simple tricks to claim more insight than they really have. [ He says this in complete sincerity. ]