[log] how deep are we gonna go with this?

[bywolves]

Characters: Alfie and Royce
Location: Downtown
Date: Day 292 to Day 295
Summary: Exposure effects, a brief reprieve, and then event shenanigans.
Warnings: Nothing yet, will update if anything comes up.

Starters below!

Comments

[devoutish]

What do you mean, it wouldn't make sense?

cw: suicide reference

[bywolves]

I can't kill myself. And there's nothing else that's stupid enough to do anymore. I'm not looking to make people angry at me, either.

cw: suicide reference

[devoutish]

[A part of him - a big part, if he's honest with himself - wouldn't really be able to be mad at Royce if he did try to off himself. It's not like Alfie hasn't thought about it plenty of times before. And while hearing that he wouldn't should be a relief to hear, the way Royce says it sounds so hopeless. He won't do it, but only because it would be pointless.

He brings Royce's hand up and kisses the back of it, saying nothing.]

cw: suicide reference

[bywolves]

[ Royce squeezes Alfie's hand. ]

I can't promise you I won't eventually. [ Royce says, after a while. Eventually, pointless won't matter. ] I don't want to lie to you.

[devoutish]

And I can't make you promise not to. Not here.

[bywolves]

[ That's a relief to hear. ]

Thank you. [ It's whispered. ]

[devoutish]

[He curls his fingers into the sleeve of Royce's shirt.]

Royce.

[bywolves]

[ He makes a softer sort of noise, acknowledging. Yeah? ]

[devoutish]

[This time, he just shakes his said, and doesn't say anything.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce is quiet for a while, just holding onto Alfie. He makes sure Alfie's feet are warm, he keeps an eye on the fire that's slowly burning out, and holds on tightly to Alfie's hand. He's fine to just sit. That's all they can do, some days. ]

Don't let your tea get cold. [ He says finally, soft. ]

[devoutish]

I'm so sorry, Royce.

[He says, very quietly.]

[bywolves]

[ He noses at the side of Alfie's head. It's okay, buddy. ]

Love you. [ Royce murmurs, with a sigh. ] Drink your tea.

[devoutish]

I love you, too. And I Iove your tea. Your bread, as well.

[It's not like Royce made the bread, but whatever. He collected it; that's good enough, in Norfinbury.]

[bywolves]

[ He can't find it in him to smile this time. Instead, he sort of just settles into Alfie, eyes closed. He says nothing for now. ]

[devoutish]

What do you need?

[He says quietly.]

What do you need, mate? I'll give it to you.

[bywolves]

[ He shakes his head. ]

Nothing that you or anybody can do. [ He rubs at Alfie's back a little. ] Just drink your tea and eat the bread and I'll be okay. Enjoy yourself.

[ Try to be happy. Royce can try if Alfie does. ]

[devoutish]

I'm drinking it.

[He takes another small sip. He's grappling with wanting to drink slowly and make it last, and wanting to drink quickly before it cools off too much. It's a struggle.]

But tell me anyway.

[bywolves]

[ He keeps rubbing at Alfie's back, eyes closed. ]

I don't want to go anywhere today. [ He says, softer. ] If that's fine with you.

[devoutish]

Yeah, okay. We'll just stay in bed today.

[bywolves]

Hotel's a good place for that. [ The beds are nice, here. ] We can walk around later. Maybe read. I have a few books I haven't read in a long time.

[ Or sleep. He could just sleep all day. ]

[devoutish]

I'll try to read to you, if you like.

["Try" because his glasses prescription from home isn't nearly strong enough for him anymore, and he really has to strain to read anything but the biggest print these days.]

[bywolves]

Yeah. I'd like that. [ Even if Alfie can't, the effort is appreciated. ] Could have me or the tablet read it when you get tired.

[ A beat. ] Should look for glasses, sometime.

[devoutish]

They'd need to be ones that would work with my eyes. Just any old glasses wouldn't do.

I could work on trying to transcribe some of these books in bigger writing.

[bywolves]

It'd give you something else to do. To break up the monotony.

[devoutish]

I'm a trade broker, Royce. My life is very exciting.

[He says it with enough sarcasm that Royce can probably tell he's joking, but enough levity that he doesn't sound completely bitter.]