[network] Event: Long & Lost [NIGHT 217]

[snowblindmods]

it's been so long between the words we spoke
will you be there up on the shore, I hope

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[heroproceeding]

[ Further argument's the last thing he wants. He's tired... So tired. Strung out all over again and he's pretty sure he's well beyond haggard at this point. When he stopped believing in the impossible, he's not sure. But that look... That look's a good look and he hopes he'll see that look to the very end. Stubborn. Defiant. Fighting tooth and nail, no matter the obstacles. That's what Jim needs to be. That's what they all need to be to get out of there.

If only a look like that could actually guarantee a fourth ticket.

Zack lowers his gaze. ]

Promise me no matter what happens, you keep your head up- [ He raises his head again slowly. ] -and you keep looking forward.

[ Because no matter what, the last thing... the very last thing he'd ever want was for Jim to blame it on himself if things go the other way. To think he'd failed him. To always look back and think himself less all over again because of something out of his control. ]

[rattlingthestars]

know what you gotta do?

[rattlingthestars]

[ Zack's words seem to knock Jim and take a little of that fight out of him. He doesn't want to consider no matter what happens, because he knows what it means, knows what Zack means. But Zack won't accept anything less, will he?

And maybe he's not wrong to demand that. After everyone - Hiro, Tadashi, Tifa, Cloud - Jim knows any of them could be gone tomorrow, and they would have to pick up and move on. He and Zell had managed it the day the explosion took out Kunsel and Zack, hadn't they? ]

I will. I'll keep moving, Zack. I'm not going to let you down.

[ In any way. ]

[heroproceeding]

Good.

[ The word rolls out, barely a rumbled whisper and he's back in Jim's space and squeezing him maybe a little too tightly. Keeps holding on maybe a little too long like that before that hold loosens some. Before he's back to something more comfortable as he slides his hand from the back of his head to his shoulderblades instead, giving him a soft pat there. ]

I know- I know you won't. Hell- I'm proud of you, you know?

[rattlingthestars]

[ Jim had been - he wasn't okay, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he was holding it together. He wasn't a kid, as he'd shown over and over, and he could handle anything this place threw at them as well as anybody else.

But that.

I'm proud of you.

Zack might as well have punched him. It's all he wanted. more than Zack's trust, more than his love. It's all he ever wants, and Jim didn't even know Zack thought it until now. ]

-Zack.

[ He stops to catch his breath. ]

When we're out of here - when everything's okay -

[ When I've earned it. ]

- Tell me that again.

[heroproceeding]

When we leave this place-

[ No matter if he doesn't end up going with them. No matter if that's the last time he ever sees them again. If he gets to say that, if those are his last words to Jim- they're the best words he could give him. The ones that matter a lot. He can hear it in the way his voice sounds like it's about to crack and the way tension feeds into his shoulders again.

If only he, himself, could...

Zack clears his own throat. ] When we leave this place, I'll tell you that again. I promise.

[ When.. Not if. ]