[network] Event: Long & Lost [NIGHT 217]

[snowblindmods]

it's been so long between the words we spoke
will you be there up on the shore, I hope

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Comments

[godsspeed]

You have a soul, Davesprite. Winter... I don't know. Beings constructed by humankind without the aid of the divine occupy a complicated space. [ Truth be told, Castiel is skeptical of the notion that a group of mortals could simply create life in such a way, but he doesn't want to upset Davesprite by questioning her personhood. And in any case, some thousand years ago he had been hesitant to believe humans could gather and repair the shattered remains of a demon's soul, as well. ]

You can treat me however you choose. You can believe that I should have been gifted with a soul. But the fundamental truth is that I wasn't. Angels aren't the same as hammers, but that doesn't mean we should conduct ourselves like humans either. We all have roles to play. I... appreciate your enthusiasm, but there's no point in arguing.

[mrcreamsicles]

Damnit, Cas.

[Castiel is long and weirdly stressed, and he's tired of this argument and tired of him treating himself like this. He sighs.]

I still hate this. You're a person and that's not going to change in my mind, and I'm not going to stop thinking it's fucked up that you're not allowed to question or doubt, or that you can just be tossed aside when God's done. I already want to help Winter go back the way she was before, so you're not going to hear me telling you to renounce your ways and go back to being God's humble, abiding servant, either.

[And while his loss fuels most of that, pitching his words to the concern and upset behind them, it's the larger effect pressing at people tonight that draws the next bit.]

... I just hope you won't stop talking to me because of it. I won't make you stick around right now if you want to hang up, but after that.

[godsspeed]

I think we may just have very different ideas about what God is and is not.

[ Which he used to assume was always the case between angels and humans, but he's coming to realize now that they're much more alike than he realized. Another thing he doesn't know how to feel about. ]

You aren't the first to question the way He chose to make the world, and you won't be the last. It's good that you do. It means you're using the gifts you've been given. But it isn't as easy for me.

[mrcreamsicles]

[He sighs.]

Then I'm going to be here telling you to keep questioning. You won't find anything else from me about it. If there's a human around who tells you not to question what you're told, they're probably trying to use you.