snowblindrpg | [network] @ADMIN; Arrival

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[network] @ADMIN; Arrival

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It's a sad song; a tragedy.

[She goes through a rough translation in her head.] It is the story of a love, as there has been no equal. That made me understand, all the good all the bad, that lit up my life, turning it off afterwards.

It's one of my mother's favorites. First thing that came to my mind.

[Possibly inappropriate.]

Mm. I only know Russian lullabies.

[She smiles softly.]

I know many lullabies - they come in handy sometimes in the hospital. It's a terrifying place for kids.

[Not that she, personally has any.]

You have children?

I don't. No. Got a gaggle of nieces and nephews, though; yeah.

You want 'em?

[She does, at some point. Maybe when her life is not so insane. Maybe when she's better at picking who she dates.

She has no delusion that she's nowhere close to that.]

I'd need a wife first. Better not to get ahead of myself.

Ah! [The noise is amused, although surprised.] I'll admit, I thought you'd be a married man already. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. Might be the calm confidence thing.

[For all she knows, he's terribly ugly and that's why he hasn't found someone to settle with. The thought makes her chuckle.]

My age.

[That'd be his guess.]

Most men, they're settled down by their forties.

I wouldn't have guessed you were in your forties by your voice only, Mr. Solomons.

[Funny how some things don't change.]

Expectations are still the same in my world. Every time I speak to my mom, she asks me when I'm getting married, and I'm only in my thirties.

Unmarried women in their thirties aren't very common where I'm from - if you don't mind my saying so. Mind, you they aren't unheard of.

Of course I don't mind - I can imagine it's not. It's a lot more common in the 21st century, but the expectation is still here. A woman my age should be married, having children. I've just not met the person I want to do all this with. I'm in no hurry.

I suppose it would be difficult with the job, unless your husband stayed home.

We get maternity leave, nowadays. Not everyone, and it's not a long time, but it's something. You get a few months' full pay while staying home. But after that, it's either one of the parents stay home, or you find a nanny. It's - a big thing.

[She shrugs.]

One day. Or I'll just adopt.

You'd adopt alone?

[Shrugging again, she makes a considering face.]

I'd consider it, if I'm still single. Or simply if I'm too old to have children naturally.

It's a difficult life, parenting alone. Not sure why anyone would choose it. But - the future is a very different place.

It wouldn't be my first choice. More of a last resort kind of thing, if I end up being one of these people that end up alone forever.

[Which is not something she wants, but she's not one to settle, either.]

It wouldn't be better to not have children at all?

Would it? There are countless kids without a stable home, without anyone to love them, kids dying in the streets or being turned into soldiers. I've never thought of myself as someone who wouldn't have kids, and if I have the means, the heart and the will, why shouldn't I do it?

[She looks down.]

A life alone is not much of a life at all, anyway.

Mm.

[Okay, that he can agree with.]

You feel alone, then, even at home?

[She hesitates, which is probably answer enough. But it's a difficult one, for her.]

I - [Her words die out on her tongue, and she closes her mouth, swallowing hard.]

It's a day to day thing. [She finally manages to say, before looking inquisitively at the camera. She's pretty sure he's watching.] Why? Are you trying to find my weaknesses?

No, no. Making conversation, that's all.

[Making conversation about the empty parts of Claire's life. Making conversation around the shadow of Matt's presence in her heart. It feels so hollow, right now.]

Sorry. I'm just - it's not something I talk about very much. There's no point, is there?

Of course, yeah. No offense meant.

None taken. [It's just upsetting, t think that she might end up alone forever. That she might never find someone to have a life with. A real one, not the one Matt creates around himself.]

Did the war ever make you consider your place in the world? What you bring - or don't bring - to it? What's important, what you're willing to compromise on, that sort of stuff?

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