[log] a couple of setbacks later [closed]

[bywolves]

Characters: Royce Melborn, Alfie Solomons, Tifa Lockhart, Emily Kaldwin
Location: Building 50 (bonus Building 44)
Date: night of Day 142 (plus, bonus Day 144)
Summary: Reunion log!
Warnings: Will update as necessary!

A standard two-story house with an attic. The first floor has a kitchen, living room, and dining room, while the second floor has two bedrooms and a bathroom. The entire house has been done up inside in Victorian style--it probably cost quite a lot of money, and no detail is spared. The color scheme is a bit dark, though, and it's difficult to see in here during the night. "ALPHONSE ELRIC, DAY EIGHT, TRAVELLING EAST" and "ALPHONSE ELRIC, STEPH BROWN, MAMI TOMOE, FREYA CRESCENT, EDWARD ELRIC, DAY TWENTY-FOUR, TRAVELLING WEST" have been carved into the hallway wall. "ALPHONSE ELRIC, EDWARD ELRIC, GREED, DAY SEVENTY-FIVE, TRAVELLING SOUTH-WEST. DEAR FORMER RESIDENT, WE ARE FRIENDS, PLEASE DO NOT FEEL YOU NEED TO HIDE FROM US. CONTACT LELRIC." has been written on the wall. Written on the wall in blue ink is the following: "This is Building 80 on the composite map. Contact @CaptSteveRogers for details." Underneath is a pretty accurate map showing the house in relation to the south and west snow walls, the school and athletic shed, the funeral home, and buildings 34, 35, 37, 39, 40, 41, 46, 47, 48, 49, 53, 57, 58, and 59. The snow wall is labeled "Snow wall." House 58 is labeled "Entrance to ice tunnels." The school is labeled "School. Food available in cafeteria; DO NOT STAY HERE OVERNIGHT." The athletic shed is labeled "Shed". The funeral home is labeled "UNSAFE; DO NOT STAY HERE OVERNIGHT." House 34 is labeled "Medical assistance; hot, clean water. Contact Dr. Epps @claytonator".

Comments

[bywolves]

[ It takes far, far longer for Royce to settle than usual. He absolutely refuses to accept any sort of help in doing his usual routine, which means he has to slowly remove his wet things and pull on his not wet things, wipe himself down with his washcloths, and wrap up in his blanket. He does this in the kitchen, away from everybody, and if he's interrupted, he'll absolutely snap at said interruption. He can do this. It's important that he does this on his own.

But once he's got that, he doesn't move much. He practically crawls into the living room and curls up on the couch, wrapped up several times in his blanket. He can't do a whole lot. Can't try to make his lockpicks, can't try to make another shiv with the scissors he found in the hospital, can barely read his tablet - he's dizzy and feels like he's floating even when he's sitting still. It's annoying, but... he's actually in a much better mood here. Being back with Tifa and Alfie makes him feel safer, and he's easier to joke around with. Easier to coax stories out of too, Emily.

He's restless, though. Even after walking all day. Whoever sits on the couch with him most likely will be annoyed by how much he shifts around.

And at some point during the night, possibly while everybody is still downstairs, even, he'll fall asleep on the couch. He's not going to try the stairs. Fuck stairs. But he's restless there too, twitching, and what can be seen of his expression is twisted or pained.

He doesn't sleep through the whole night, though. He's been sleeping less in general, lately, and he's not sure why. ]

[powersouls]

[Tifa absolutely gets snapped at, because she offers Royce help almost immediately. She isn't offended, though. She's getting more and more used to him, and she understands that this is something he needs to do himself, so she doesn't take it personally.

Once he settles down on the couch, though, she joins him again. She's got this urge to stick close to him, to make sure he's okay, but she's trying very, very hard not to be smothering or too fussy. She missed him. It's instinctive, and soon enough she dozes off, too, but it doesn't take long for her to be woken up again by his twitching. It takes her a moment to come to again, and for a second, she thinks it's just general restlessness until she sees the expression on his face. Tifa hesitates, then leans over, touching his shoulder lightly.]

Duster?

cw: knives and blood

[bywolves]

[ He doesn't wake up immediately, which might be concerning in itself.

He's tied up. His hands are behind his back and they hurt, they ache, deep down in his bones. There's no way to escape, and he knows, without a doubt, that this is the end. He's going to die here, and there won't be a convenient way out. No princess to strike a deal with, no partner to rely on, no tower to jump from. It's too late. It's far too late. Everywhere he looks is dark, the sound of water dripping quietly behind him, steady and relentless, just out of reach. He's thirsty. He just wants water, he just wants his heart to stop thudding as hard as it is but at the same time, he doesn't. Because if it stops beating then he'll stop living, and he doesn't want to know what comes next.

The touch translates as being pushed. He falls forward, hits the ground and can't catch himself, lets out a cut off noise as his jaw bashes painfully into the wood floor. This is it. This is the end, this is where the knife comes down and glimmers at his throat and he watches it, he watches as patchwork fingers slowly, painfully drag the knife across and he watches as his blood drips out, drains from him and he can't breathe, he can't --

Royce wakes up with a sharp gasp, and he moves like he's going to bolt, like he'd get up if he didn't feel like he was floating. For a split second he doesn't look like he knows where he is, eyes shut and hand covering his throat, his neck, breaths coming harsh, and then he's inching closer to the edge of the couch, like he's getting away, like he'll just crawl away if he has to. ]

[powersouls]

[She's used to this, at least, used to waking people up from nightmares. Barret and Cloud, mostly, but she thinks she can translate her methods with them into something that will work with him. She starts a bit when he gasps, but then she's reaching for him again, fingertips just barely brushing against his arm. Something twists in her chest at the sight of him, so obviously terrified, and she fights the urge to hug him. It's a terrible idea, so she just keeps her voice soft and soothing.]

Duster, it's okay. It's me. Tifa. You're safe, it's just a dream.

[bywolves]

[ It's like when he woke up. He can't breathe, and his blood is roaring in his ears. Royce is not accustomed to being scared like this, hasn't been scared like this since he was a child. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to handle the panic like a healthy, well-adjusted person might. She touches him again, and it's lightly, just barely there, but he can't register it as positive, at the moment. He doesn't look at her because he's starting to figure out he's awake, he's fine, he's alive - this is embarrassing and humiliating. Came back wrong. Came back broken.

Came back at all.

Royce shies away from the touch, dragging in a ragged sort of breath and pulling himself to his feet. He leaves the blanket where it is and staggers away, almost drunkenly bulldozes for the kitchen. He's so off-center, so not graceful and it makes him feel worse. This place keeps taking things from him. It keeps taking, it took his sight and his ears and his life, and even though it gave the last one back, it's taken his ability to move in exchange, to be self-sufficient.

Royce doesn't make it all the way into the kitchen. He catches himself on the door frame and closes his eyes and just stays there, half doubled over, trying to pull himself together before Alfie ends up seeing him. ]

[powersouls]

[She lets him pull away, lets him leave, and just stays on the couch when he doubles over. He needs space, and she doesn't want to crowd him, even if it takes every ounce of willpower she has not to go and help him stand. Tifa can't stay across the room forever, though, and after a minute or so she finally gets up, moving to join him slowly. She stops a few feet away, giving him a bit of distance, and tucks her hair behind her ear awkwardly.]

It's okay. That happened to me, too.

[The nightmares, she means. Hers are just generally less noticeable.]

[bywolves]

[ He doesn't look at her, breathing harshly through his nose. His eyes are burning, but he won't let that go any further. Royce does not cry and he does not - panic, like this. Death wasn't ever a big deal until he actually had to face it. Wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to leave this or Gwen or Hadrian or anybody behind, not yet.

His voice is low and shaky when he replies. ] Came back wrong. Didn't happen to Solomons.

[powersouls]

[Tifa risks moving closer, standing beside him but not touching him just yet.]

You didn't come back wrong. You've been through a lot. You're just shaken up. Give yourself a little time.

[bywolves]

No. [ Royce says, voice unsteady. ] No. This doesn't happen. I'm terrified and I don't get terrified. They brought me back different. My lungs are smaller. I can't walk straight. They forgot parts of me when they put me back together.

[powersouls]

Duster.

[Now she does touch him, reaching for his hand.]

There's nothing wrong with you, I promise. Everyone gets terrified. Cloud was when he came back. Alfie has been having nightmares, too. And... do you remember my friend Barret? I lived with him in Midgar after Nibelheim was destroyed. ShinRa wiped out his hometown, too, and he lost his wife and best friend. He isn't afraid of anything, and he never talks about his feelings. [Like Royce and Alfie, basically.] He's one of the toughest people I know, but we woke each other up with nightmares sometimes.

[bywolves]

[ He doesn't push her away or slap at her hand. Instead, he just listens. Evens out his breathing, slowly, bit by bit, counting. One, two, three, inhale. One, two, three, exhale.

They've all been having nightmares. Makes him feel a little better. But it's not the nightmares specifically that bother him. ] It isn't the nightmares. Had those plenty. These are different.

[powersouls]

I've had them, too. Panic attacks. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

[And now, since he's calming down, she steps forward to hug him tight.]

It's okay, I promise.

[bywolves]

[ Panic attacks. That's - certainly a quantifiable thing, and he doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to talk through it so much, but the fact that it's something she knows and can name? That's weirdly a relief. Tifa slides in and hugs him, and he lets her. Doesn't have the energy to fight it, and besides, he doesn't really want to. She's not going to hurt him. There isn't any point.

Royce leans into it, bringing one arm around to hold tightly at her coat, face hidden in her shoulder. The other hand hangs loosely, awkwardly, but... he'll take the comfort. Not many people in his life offer it this way. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie is very glad to have his partner in crime back. Unlike Tifa, he doesn't offer to help him with anything - they're inside, and there's no urgency to the situation, or a need to be quick and efficient. But he does seek him out often, either to chat or to sit in companionable silence.

He comes back to the couch after his search but before his prayers, sitting down on the opposite end from Royce and pulling a couple food items from his backpack - half an apple, a little bag of Cheez-Its, and a can of green beans.]

How are you doing, mate?

[bywolves]

[ There's something nice about being able to sit in silence. Emily is a chatterbox, which Royce honestly doesn't mind, but Tifa and Alfie are good about leaving him to his own devices. Alfie, especially, is good at silence. Royce dozes here and there with Alfie next to him, comfortable enough to do so.

When Alfie finally asks, though, Royce glances over at him, pausing in his attempt to read through everything that happened on the tablets during the day. He keeps having to take breaks anyway. ]

I feel drunk without being intoxicated. [ Royce says, but it's mild. ] ... Or like I'm on a ship. Definitely like I'm on a ship.

[devoutish]

I've never been on a ship. Don't get drunk often, either.

[But he can imagine.]

Think you'll be able to sleep?

[bywolves]

Both are terrible. [ He actually makes a little bit of a face here as he fidgets. ] I'll sleep fine. I did last night.

I'll stay here. You and the girls can have the bedrooms.

[devoutish]

Mm.

[He'd encourage Royce to take one of the beds, but... stairs.]

We've got holidays where we drink a little extra. Quite a bit extra, sometimes.

[bywolves]

[ Stairs... his immortal enemy. ]

Do you? How do those turn out?

[devoutish]

We celebrate with people we trust.

[Usually. Unless he's, you know, throwing a fake seder for another gang that he plans to turn into a bloodbath.]

We don't have to be afraid to let our guards down a bit.

[bywolves]

I don't know if I've ever done something like that. [ Royce remarks idly, thinking back. ] Not for years, anyway.

Unless you count our drinking game a few days back.

[devoutish]

Not a very good idea, getting drunk here. If we were on my world, in my city, I'd bring you to a Purim celebration. But--

[That's never going to happen.]

I do wonder what House ended up doing with the rest of that wine. Drank himself to sleep one night, I expect.

[bywolves]

I wouldn't be surprised. [ So, so dry. ] He didn't deserve to have it, if you ask me, even in exchange for the wrench.

Purim?

[devoutish]

Yeah. It celebrates my people's rescue from an ancient vizier who was gonna kill us all.

[bywolves]

Sounds worth celebrating. [ And that's genuine. ] I imagine I might get strange looks if I tried to attend. Would I need to dress like you?

[ All fancy and suited up. Royce can't even imagine. ]