[network] @hjack69; A message to @dulcedeleche [open] [cw: murder and death threats]

[youarethebandits]

[The post starts out as voice, with Jack sounding particularly cheerful about something.]

Hey there, Norfinbury! Jack here, with a special message to everyone's favourite lady of mystery, Winter. But before we get to that, let's get something cleared up first.

[The feed switches to video, showing Vriska reading out loud from a piece of paper.]

I, Vriska Serket, hereby state that I am of sound mind and am consenting to everything that is about to occur. I am not under duress or any form of coersion or manipulation - heh - and am fully aware that neither Handsome Jack-- whoa, is that seriously your for-real name? ...right, uh. I am fully aware that neither Handsome Jack nor the Hyperion Corporation bear any legal or moral responsibility for any and all consequences arising from the events that will follow this disclaimer. I also officially state for the record that Handsome Jack is cool and handsome, and that I fully recognise any and all claims to awesomeness coming from his person.
That's it, right?

[Jack's hand comes into view, giving her a thumbs up.]

Oh, right, word of warning. If you're of a faint disposition, or a little kid or whatever, you may want to stop watching now.

[The view swings around to the ceiling as he places the tablet on a table. Soon after, there is a faint but disturbing sound - it's Vriska, and she's choking. It lasts for several moments before being followed by a nasty crack.

Jack picks the tablet back up, turning it to show a now very clearly dead Vriska with dark bruises around her neck.]

Hope you're watching, Winter. This is what we call a demonstration. You keep up the silent treatment, and whoever's next will probably not be okay with getting killed.

And for everyone else - I know you're already getting ready to spam me with how could you, Jack and I'll stop you, Jack and Jack how are you so handsome and brilliant please marry me. Before you hit that post button, keep in mind that I've heard it all before. So many times. Don't waste everyone's time by being boring.

Comments

[notaquaman]

Yeah, okay.

[Nathan rolls his eyes, clearly not sold on the sentiment. But he does pause, looking away as if in thought. There might be something close to...gratitude at the assertion on his face, but it's covered quickly by the slight grin that tugs up the corners of his lips.]

You wouldn't be saying that if I wasn't so good at knock knock jokes.

[powersouls]

[She lets out a soft snort.]

Of course I wouldn't be.

[It's probably just impossible to have a serious conversation with him, and she's thinking she just needs to accept that. There's a short pause, and then she continues, her voice softer and more serious.]

Please don't do it. You'd only be helping him.

[notaquaman]

I'm...I'm not good at making promises! I won't do it!

[He takes a deep breath, lets out a heavy groan. This is the most serious conversation he's had since he got here, and man does he ever not like it. Not at all! But maybe it's earning him some brownie points, so at least there's something.]

I told you I'm not so good at fighting. If he does come looking to make good on my offer there's really not much to be done about it. [A pause.] But I will say that I won't go out of my way to jump off a ledge into his waiting stranglehold. I'm staying right where I am, safe and sound--not counting the freezing temperatures and monsters and other ghosties. Cross my heart.

[powersouls]

[She sighs, shifting in place on the other side of the tablet.]

That sounds like a promise.

[And she has a track record with promises! As in, they're pretty important to her. Which means she's going to be worried about him until someone takes out Jack, which is hopefully sooner rather than later.]

Just be careful, okay?

[notaquaman]

Yeah, alright.

[What a nice, good, safe, and sane way to end this conversation.]

Blow me a kiss for good luck?

[Yeah it was too good to be true.]

[powersouls]

[Ugh. She sighs, but there's no real annoyance behind it this time. It almost seems like a formality.]

Nice try. Good luck.