[network] @ADMIN; Arrival [open]

[snowblindmods]

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Comments

[rattlingthestars]

[ The understanding is unexpected, the forgiveness even less so. Jim had never thought he'd get the chance to apologize, much less be forgiven, and for a long few seconds he's just staring at the tablet, opening and closing his mouth.

He's not going to cry on the poor guy, alright? But he kind of wants to, and there's no denying that he's speaking around a lump in his throat: ]

-We looked for you. Sent messages, but... I don't think you can get them if you changed your name on the tablet. [ Something about that's niggling Jim. He'd never been prompted to change his name when he died, had he? ] I'm really glad you're back, man.

[meteorrains]

[Survivors guilt was a strange thing, one that caused you to replay each scenario within your mind a thousand times, searching desperately for that one little you could have, should have changed in order for everything to have gone differently. If only you had been stronger. If only you had been faster. If only you hadn't let go of that person's hand.

And it would eat at you, tearing away at the core of everything you were until the guilt was an overwhelming weight resting squarely upon your shoulders and crushing you.

He had lived in that state for so long, had suffered with those thoughts of guilt and memories of failings that he didn't want to be the reason or cause for anyone else's. Forgiveness was the salve that would ease the ache, even if it wouldn't cure it completely. The cure could only come when you finally learned how to forgive yourself.

Even if that was easier said than done.]

It's alright. [Although being able to read and listen to all of his old correspondences would likely answer quite a few of the questions he held, he got the distinct feeling he'd really rather not do so.] I'm sorry I don't remember anything.

I'm so sorry this took forever, i was struggling

[rattlingthestars]

[ It's Jim's first real experience with the feeling - they'd had deaths before Cloud, and after, but none of them had felt so completely Jim's fault. None of them had ended with him admitting, in fits and starts, to Zack and - and Tifa, that they were just a day too late. He hadn't seen Zack break down after the rest, hadn't held him as he cried.

But it doesn't matter now, does it? Cloud's back. That means none of it matters now. And even if he raises a good point, Jim's just shaking his head and giving him a weak smile. ]

-Like I said. It should come back in a few days. Or... even if it doesn't, we can fill you in.

[ The smile gets a little stronger. ]

-I'm going to spoil it for you, though, there was a lot of walking through snow. Try not to be surprised.

No worries! Sorry for the short tag in reply!

[meteorrains]

[Way to go, Jim. You've gone and ruined the entire experience for him. Learn to mark your spoilers better, golly gee whiz.]

I wouldn't have guessed.

[It wouldn't be so bad, really. He had grown up in the mountains, where snow drifts often became taller than he was. He wasn't entirely poorly dressed for the occasion, although he had a feeling if he had known he was about to dropped into snow hell, he would have gone for a warmer shirt.]

[rattlingthestars]

Hm, well, that's why you've got experienced guides around.

[ Jim does a little better at a light tone this time. It's going to be alright, isn't it? Because like he told Zell, at least Cloud is alive, which means all the grief and guilt from his death should be easy to put aside now.

That's how it works, isn't it?

He clears his throat. ]

-All that and I don't think I told you my name. This is weird. I'm Jim.