snowblindrpg | [network|video] @captaininvincible; Vandalism, Please Advise; Night 76 [open] [cw: language]

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[network|video] @captaininvincible; Vandalism, Please Advise; Night 76 [open] [cw: language]

Well fuck!

[This is not the sound of someone who has just been successful at opening a mysterious safe in the post office.]

Alright, laugh it up, the bloody code won't work!

[He swings the tablet around from where it had been awkwardly facing the keypad to get a good view of his disgruntled expression.]

Here. [He lifts the paper up to the camera, displaying "SAFE: xiai xiai kic xoeqzw tmmjtd-wwvjr" clearly for all to see.] I'm shit where it comes to that whole...detective...deciphering thing. It needs to be something with numbers. The damn thing won't take letters. Couldn't even do anything! Anyone else got any brilliant ideas?

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[Rydia frowns, that's definitely not a good thing and she has no clues on what to do, but...]
Hey, listen, there's no need to be so angry with yourself, you already did a great job in finding that code, now it's just a matter of time until someone finds a way to use it, mh? [It's her job to be supportive, right? Still, she's not turning the video on this time, she's exhausted and isn't really in the mood of smiling just for the sake of doing it.] With it, we may be one step closer to return home.

...

I know it may be silly but I've heard of passwords, why don't you try to use it with Admin?

Edited 2016-01-08 09:26 (UTC)

[Sweet Rydia. Nathan isn't mad at himself. He's mad at the damn safe. It's easy to blame things on inanimate objects! Makes you feel less like you're a walking piece of garbage.]

You think the Admin's got something to say about all this? Look, I'm betting you, I rattle off these numbers to that robot bastard and it finds some way to scramble the combination and then we're all outta goddamn luck.

[He looks away from the camera to shout up at nothing.]

This is all some sci-fi bullshit!

Well, it's obviously some kinda cipher. Probably the numbers written out in longform.

[There's a brief pause with faint sounds of pen scribbling rapidly across paper.]

Can't be a direct substitution, so it's probably gonna take some fiddling around with grids or whatever. I'm not a cryptographer, hell if I know.

Or you could try turning the whole thing into binary. It'd just be a few hours of tapping in ones and zeroes.

Well. Obviously! [Nathan repeats, as if he knows anything at all that's being talked about right now. Which, naturally, he does not.] Unfortunately, I'm good for fuck all where it comes to...all of that.

[What the fuck is binary? This sounds like something Simon would know a lot about, the giant freak.]

I was too busy having a social life to lean about ones and zeroes.

Yeah, you do sound like the kinda guy who has a great social life. Who cares about stuff like having an education and a career, right?

Pretty much! I'm a fuckup and proud. I figure maybe in about ten years or so I'll clean up my act, but what's the point of having youth of I'm not going to exploit it?

[But, hey, wait a minute!]

Anyway, I do have a career! I'm a celebrity! Partying is basically what I'm paid to do! School would just be wasted on me, man, I'll tell you that much.

[Jack has no patience for people who aren't interested in working hard for their goals. He didn't become the most powerful man in the galaxy by slacking off, and there was only partying once he did get there.]

Sounds like you've got it all figured out, then. Too bad there aren't a lot of parties around here.

Edited 2016-01-09 14:12 (UTC)

[Hey, don't belittle his struggles! He had to go through a lot of weird shit to get his celebrity status. Granted, most of it involved illegal activities and was generally not his idea to begin with and can't really be considered work but it felt like work okay.]

I like to think of myself as a take it day-by-day kind of guy. Am I going to get shitfaced today? Am I going to have to murder my probation officer and bury him in a construction site? Maybe I'll have to fight off a gorilla. The possibilities are endless! The point is, the way I see it, shit's just gonna happen. No point in wasting time planning.

[He shrugs. He's immortal. He can party for the next twelve centuries and still have time to spare. What does it matter?]

It's a damn shame, that's for sure, but I'm looking on the bright side. This is an opportunity to throw a party of legendary proportions! Who says you can't have wild raves in a snowstorm-prone ghost town overrun with spiders and flesh-eating monsters? That's just being defeatist!

[Now, regardless of how he feels about the guy, he can't help but agree with some of that. Sometimes you do have to change your plans to account for impromptu murder. Sometimes you do have to fight off gorillas. And sometimes you really need to throw parties.]

You manage to throw a wild rave in this craphole, I can guarantee you'll have my eternal respect.

Well, then! Consider this a formally accepted challenge.

[Not that he wasn't already planning on doing it, but now the stakes are much higher. Nobody's ever had eternal respect. Hell, he can't think of anybody who had the normal amount of respect for him!]

I'd say we should shake on it, but the distance poses an obvious problem. We'll say its a bet between gentlemen!

[Yes. That is 100% what they are. Gentlemen.]

[ Having tugged on Kunsel's sleeve until he read the picture out loud - way to not be accessible, Nathan! - Jim mulls it over for a long time. Nothing here's ever easy, but there's got to be some way to get in there. It's like the message he and Hiro had found leading to the video from the hospital. ]

Gotta be some kind of code, but you need - something like a key, and maybe something that could help you crack it unless you're really good at math.

[ Jim's not good at math, especially blind, and he doesn't actually know all that much about ciphers. Still, he gets quiet again as he turns the puzzle over in his mind. Eventually he sends a second message, this one less confident than the first: ]

What if ... what if 'SAFE' is the key? Not just telling you where to use it, but ...

Really, you think?

[Nathan looks at the paper again and pulls a face.]

I just thought it meant that the combination was for the safe. So you think the word safe unlocks the safe? [He laughs.] Kind of hilarious. Nobody would think to use that! But anyway, I don't know shit about math or cracking codes. I never paid attention much in algebra. Guess that means I'm shit out of luck down here.

Maybe. Or there's a key hidden somewhere else, but why hide a code if you didn't want someone to solve it? Is there anything in the building with the save that has... numbers, or a grid, or something?

[ Unless there's a different safe that has an alphabet keyboard, or he's completely wrong about what kind of code this is, or - well, about a billion other things, but tunnel (aha) vision is a hell of a drug. ]

I might have an idea. A friend of mine's got a program on their tablet that might be able to help, but I'm not sure he's seen this, or would know what to do. Going to shoot him a message, see if anything turns up.

Didn't see anything.

[Nathan gives a groan as he gets off his ass. He leaves the tablet facing the safe and goes to take a second look. There's much rummaging, crashing, and occasional cursing to be had. When Nathan comes back, he's huffing, but looks no worse for wear.]

Nope, nothing. Just a bunch of envelopes and shit. You go ahead and do that. [He waves a hand, as if giving his consent. As if it was even necessary.] I'm not going anywhere, I'll just be sitting here doing fuck all. Let me know what that buddy of yours comes up with, yeah?

Yeah, I will.

[ Jim's gone a while, talking to Quark, but that doesn't mean he's actually getting results. He looks intensely frustrated when he returns. ]

-Program didn't work. We might have to figure this one out by hand.

Would really help if I could see it...

Ah, well, it was worth a shot! Thanks for the attempt, man. I think we got a few others already trying to work this out on paper.

[He's in too good of a mood to be bummed out. Would've been nice if it could've just been plugged into a computer, but, hey! It's not like he's actually doing any of the work either way. It's all win-win for him.]

Should have this thing debunked soon enough.

Good, if somebody who knows what they're doing's looking at it...

[ Then maybe Nathan's good mood is catching. Stranger things have happened. ]

You're gonna let us know what happens when you open it, right?

[Nathan barks a laugh.]

Trust me, don't need to worry yourself about that. You can bet on me not to keep my mouth shut about anything.

[...great?]

saw this on a telenovela once
think the guys called it a keyed casear
they talked about a vigenere cipher, too
no idea how those actually work
junkyard joe up there's probably right about "safe" being the key
you could probably ask angelcakes about it
dunno why she's being quiet
unless you pissed her off
or she's dead

Edited 2016-01-09 18:30 (UTC)

Angelcakes?

[Nathan looks like he has no idea who in the world House could possibly be talking about. But then he gets a slight...slight look of recognition on his face.]

Yeah, yeah! Broad with the daddy issues, yeah? Kinda short, dark hair?

[She's pretty cute, saw her at the big clusterfuck of a meeting that went to shit. But, yeesh, baggage much? Pretty great he's bringing this up on the same post where he's already talking to said Dad but, you know, that requires actually thinking about the words that come out of his mouth.]

Nah, haven't talked to her. Would be pretty impressive if I'd pissed her off. But I piss off a lot of women, so I'm sure I'll be on her list sooner rather than later.

[Which is a shame, because he's totally charming and he'd show her a right good time. Yes. Absolutely.]

Too bad she's supposedly dead.

[Eh.]

that's the one
and don't worry about being on her list
she's pretty much a bitch when she's not playing everyone's little sweetheart
as you saw

but hey
maybe dying will adjust the 'tude
in the meantime, guess we're on our own
where'd you find that code, anyway?
maybe you missed the decoder ring

[Nathan can't help but laugh. Clearly House is not on Angel's good side. He hasn't looked through much of their past (public) conversations, and there as a lot going on at the meeting that he didn't have the attention span to pick up, but he's sure there's a few fun stories there. Not that he's going to press right now.]

If I ever need her for anything, I'll let her know your glowing recommendation, then.

[Gossip isn't as interesting as getting this damn safe open, though, so he let's that subject drop in favor of the more pressing one.]

It was sew into this big quilt in one of the houses by the southern wall. Trust me, if there'd been anything else in that thing, I would've found it.

[He massaged the living shit outta that sucker to find a little piece of paper. He can't imagine he would've missed anything that would've actually made a lump.]

[House considers it a few minutes.]

i'll think about it
see if i can remember anything else they said about the ciphers

[It means he'll really need some time to meditate and reach back, sift through. He doesn't lose much, especially when it's related to his soaps, but there's a lot to go through mentally.]

might be worth it to mention those specific ciphers to other folks who might have a better handle on them

The doctor is correct. It seems to be a Vigenère cipher, a type of polyalphabetic cipher. Not sure how much you know about history, but if you've heard of the German Enigma machines, those are essentially very complex polyalphabetic ciphers.

I think I can help you. Give me a moment; I'll need to draw something up for reference.

I haven't heard of half the words in those sentences, let alone an Enigma Machine. Doesn't that just mean Mystery Machine? Maybe we should call on Scooby and the Gang to get to the bottom of this one.

[This is the time for jokes, clearly. Whatever, if England wants to help Nathan is totally not going to stop him. It's not like he's going to figure it out on his own, after all.]

Take your time, man. I'm not in any hurry. Couldn't be more comfortable--well, unless I was in a buffet. Or Hawaii. But that's neither here nor there.

Enigma machines were used by the German military to send coded messages in the Second World War. [England just doesn't appreciate a good Scooby Doo reference when he sees one. For shame!]

But, as you said, that's neither here nor there. I don't suppose you have any interest in an explanation of how to solve this?

Nope! [He pauses.] Actually, yeah, why the fuck not? Lay it on me! If I ever run into another one of these things maybe I'll be able to puzzle it out myself.

[Unlikely, but...knowledge is power? And it's kind of a hassle having to talk to throw up a network post describing his ineptitude. He knows he's inept, he doesn't need anyone else telling him!]

It's a bit complicated to set up.

[England will send over a file of a photo. It's a square that looks a little bit like this, but it's been handwritten in a notebook in black ballpoint pen.]

This is the table you would reference. We already know the key. It's "safe."

So the first step to decrypt it would be to write it out like this:

xiai xiai kic xoeqzw tmmjtd-wwvjr
SAFE SAFE SAF ESAFES AFESAF-ESAFE

After that, you need to reference the table. I'll start with the first letter as an example. Find the row of the letter used in the key--S, in this case--and then locate X on that row. That brings you to column F. That means the first letter of this message would be F.

Decrypted, the entire thing reads "five five six twelve thirty-seven."

[England could have gone way more in-depth, and he will if Nathan asks, but he has a feeling Nathan will not. He doesn't seem like that kind of person.]

Jesus. So this is just some big bullshit word scramble?

[Nathan runs a hand through his hair almost angrily. At first as he looks over the instructions, he can't make heads or tails of it. But...actually, it kind of makes sense. He'll probably forget all about it, and if he was actively trying to solve it he'd lose patience. But when he's getting handed the explanation and the answer?]

Guess you don't have to be Sherlock to figure this one out after all--just to come up with it in the first place. Who has the fucking time?

[Did nobody here ever hear of a party? Ever?]

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[network|video] @captaininvincible; Vandalism, Please Advise; Night 76 [open] [cw: language]

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@hjack69; voice

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audio; assuming 'SAFE' is visible

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@hotstud_xxx; text

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@SceptredIsle; text

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