[network] @ADMIN; Arrival [open]

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E҉̘̩̙͢͝͡R̛̫̘̝̮̞̬͓̝̫̻̻̜̦̀ͅŖ̮̳͕̲͚͜O̷̙̖͓͙̗̰͘͟R̯̝͓̪̻̩̟̟͕̥͍̭̪͍͘:̵̛̛̝͖͓̺̥̙̝̀͜ ̧̛͙͚̱̫͇̹̙̥͎̜̖̺̻̕͠͝I͇͓̫̺͖̻͈̝͇̰͕̩̯͝͡N̶̛̪̯̤̭̻͎͚̻̟͙V̧̼͙̹͔͝A̷̸̵̧̰̱̺̗̤̤̹̙̺͕͎͇̦̫͕̣̰̪͟L͏̡͍̣̫̘̖̰̟̤̟̕I̛̜̻̖̦̥͓̟̫͡ͅD҉͏̶̴̷͔̬̗̘͖͓͚͔̗̱̝̹̻͔ ̷̢̗͉͚͓̱̫͙̱̪̥̤͢R̵̢̭͕͖̙̤̣̬̪̜͎͇̙̥̘͕̙͟͜ͅE̴̷̶͇̖̙̪̜̜̫̪̬̣̣̫̺͜F̢͏̸̳̬̟͖͉͎͉̤͉͉͎̣̲̙͉͢E͏̨̧̫̩̭̯͓̬̼̳̳̱͉̤͞R̶͉͈̪͔͈͘Ȩ̧̩͙̦̝͉͇͚̼̫̭̕͘͡N̷̡̖͇͕̻̰̯͈͕͉̯C̳̝͍̤̫̥̰͝Ȩ̴̨͡͏̥̥̯̰̭̻̳̫E҉̘̩̙͢͝͡R̛̫̘̝̮̞̬͓̝̫̻̻̜̦̀ͅŖ̮̳͕̲͚͜O̷̙̖͓͙̗̰͘͟R̯̝͓̪̻̩̟̟͕̥͍̭̪͍͘:̵̛̛̝͖͓̺̥̙̝̀͜ ̧̛͙͚̱̫͇̹̙̥͎̜̖̺̻̕͠͝I͇͓̫̺͖̻͈̝͇̰͕̩̯͝͡N̶̛̪̯̤̭̻͎͚̻̟͙V̧̼͙̹͔͝A̷̸̵̧̰̱̺̗̤̤̹̙̺͕͎͇̦̫͕̣̰̪͟L͏̡͍̣̫̘̖̰̟̤̟̕I̛̜̻̖̦̥͓̟̫͡ͅD҉͏̶̴̷͔̬̗̘͖͓͚͔̗̱̝̹̻͔ ̷̢̗͉͚͓̱̫͙̱̪̥̤͢R̵̢̭͕͖̙̤̣̬̪̜͎͇̙̥̘͕̙͟͜ͅE̴̷̶͇̖̙̪̜̜̫̪̬̣̣̫̺͜F̢͏̸̳̬̟͖͉͎͉̤͉͉͎̣̲̙͉͢E͏̨̧̫̩̭̯͓̬̼̳̳̱͉̤͞R̶͉͈̪͔͈͘Ȩ̧̩͙̦̝͉͇͚̼̫̭̕͘͡N̷̡̖͇͕̻̰̯͈͕͉̯C̳̝͍̤̫̥̰͝Ȩ̴̨͡͏̥̥̯̰̭̻̳̫E҉̘̩̙͢͝͡R̛̫̘̝̮̞̬͓̝̫̻̻̜̦̀ͅŖ̮̳͕̲͚͜O̷̙̖͓͙̗̰͘͟R̯̝͓̪̻̩̟̟͕̥͍̭̪͍͘:̵̛̛̝͖͓̺̥̙̝̀͜ ̧̛͙͚̱̫͇̹̙̥͎̜̖̺̻̕͠͝I͇͓̫̺͖̻͈̝͇̰͕̩̯͝͡N̶̛̪̯̤̭̻͎͚̻̟͙V̧̼͙̹͔͝A̷̸̵̧̰̱̺̗̤̤̹̙̺͕͎͇̦̫͕̣̰̪͟L͏̡͍̣̫̘̖̰̟̤̟̕I̛̜̻̖̦̥͓̟̫͡ͅD҉͏̶̴̷͔̬̗̘͖͓͚͔̗̱̝̹̻͔ ̷̢̗͉͚͓̱̫͙̱̪̥̤͢R̵̢̭͕͖̙̤̣̬̪̜͎͇̙̥̘͕̙͟͜ͅE̴̷̶͇̖̙̪̜̜̫̪̬̣̣̫̺͜F̢͏̸̳̬̟͖͉͎͉̤͉͉͎̣̲̙͉͢E͏̨̧̫̩̭̯͓̬̼̳̳̱͉̤͞R̶͉͈̪͔͈͘Ȩ̧̩͙̦̝͉͇͚̼̫̭̕͘͡N̷̡̖͇͕̻̰̯͈͕͉̯C̳̝͍̤̫̥̰͝Ȩ̴̨͡͏̥̥̯̰̭̻̳̫
E҉̘̩̙͢͝͡R̛̫̘̝̮̞̬͓̝̫̻̻̜̦̀ͅŖ̮̳͕̲͚͜O̷̙̖͓͙̗̰͘͟R̯̝͓̪̻̩̟̟͕̥͍̭̪͍͘:̵̛̛̝͖͓̺̥̙̝̀͜ ̧̛͙͚̱̫͇̹̙̥͎̜̖̺̻̕͠͝I͇͓̫̺͖̻͈̝͇̰͕̩̯͝͡N̶̛̪̯̤̭̻͎͚̻̟͙V̧̼͙̹͔͝A̷̸̵̧̰̱̺̗̤̤̹̙̺͕͎͇̦̫͕̣̰̪͟L͏̡͍̣̫̘̖̰̟̤̟̕I̛̜̻̖̦̥͓̟̫͡ͅD҉͏̶̴̷͔̬̗̘͖͓͚͔̗̱̝̹̻͔ ̷̢̗͉͚͓̱̫͙̱̪̥̤͢R̵̢̭͕͖̙̤̣̬̪̜͎͇̙̥̘͕̙͟͜ͅE̴̷̶͇̖̙̪̜̜̫̪̬̣̣̫̺͜F̢͏̸̳̬̟͖͉͎͉̤͉͉͎̣̲̙͉͢E͏̨̧̫̩̭̯͓̬̼̳̳̱͉̤͞R̶͉͈̪͔͈͘Ȩ̧̩͙̦̝͉͇͚̼̫̭̕͘͡N̷̡̖͇͕̻̰̯͈͕͉̯C̳̝͍̤̫̥̰͝Ȩ̴̨͡͏̥̥̯̰̭̻̳̫ E҉̘̩̙͢͝͡R̛̫̘̝̮̞̬͓̝̫̻̻̜̦̀ͅŖ̮̳͕̲͚͜O̷̙̖͓͙̗̰͘͟R̯̝͓̪̻̩̟̟͕̥͍̭̪͍͘:̵̛̛̝͖͓̺̥̙̝̀͜ ̧̛͙͚̱̫͇̹̙̥͎̜̖̺̻̕͠͝I͇͓̫̺͖̻͈̝͇̰͕̩̯͝͡N̶̛̪̯̤̭̻͎͚̻̟͙V̧̼͙̹͔͝A̷̸̵̧̰̱̺̗̤̤̹̙̺͕͎͇̦̫͕̣̰̪͟L͏̡͍̣̫̘̖̰̟̤̟̕I̛̜̻̖̦̥͓̟̫͡ͅD҉͏̶̴̷͔̬̗̘͖͓͚͔̗̱̝̹̻͔ ̷̢̗͉͚͓̱̫͙̱̪̥̤͢R̵̢̭͕͖̙̤̣̬̪̜͎͇̙̥̘͕̙͟͜ͅE̴̷̶͇̖̙̪̜̜̫̪̬̣̣̫̺͜F̢͏̸̳̬̟͖͉͎͉̤͉͉͎̣̲̙͉͢E͏̨̧̫̩̭̯͓̬̼̳̳̱͉̤͞R̶͉͈̪͔͈͘Ȩ̧̩͙̦̝͉͇͚̼̫̭̕͘͡N̷̡̖͇͕̻̰̯͈͕͉̯C̳̝͍̤̫̥̰͝Ȩ̴̨͡͏̥̥̯̰̭̻̳̫
E҉̨̢͎͎̗̦͈͎̘R̨̘̦̙̖̳͈͟R̢̞̺͖̩̟̻͙͕̩͜O̢̢̼͉͔̟̯̝͇̙͜͠R̴̛̗̝͕̣̘͙̪͖̀͟:̢̢͉̙̥̝͖͉̯̟͇̖̱̖͓̲̳ ͏̴͉͈͈̦̝̦͉͖̖͉̪̝̠̭I͡҉̣̼̜̩̻̜͓̻̳̼̥̭̯̭̫͉̭ͅL̶͖͖̯̝̥̬̖̤̥̹͎̟̬̻̦̜̝̻̗͟͞Ļ̸̸̸̥̺̝̜̭̘̞͈͎͚͉E̶͍͍͈̬̕͜͟G̳̬͉̙̥̩̼̭̦͔͘͜͡À̴͟҉̤͔͇̩̳͝ͅL̟͉̯̥̝̀͢͝ ͏҉͈͎͇̞̪̬͓͎̖̥̜̦̖̜O̺̹̺̜͉̠͉̠͇̭̣͔͡͞P̢͘͜҉̺̝̥͎̜Ḙ̢͔͇̰͇̯̺͇͓̜Ŗ̦̝̫̯̻̰͍͙̼̮͎̕ͅA̸̬̯͉͓̥̕͢͞ͅT̷̡͎̻̳̥Ḭ̵̡̥̭̥̀͞O̴͈̤͚͇̜͘͘͞N̢̬͕̙̫̦̳̫̭͖͙̤.̧͢͜҉̩̼̬̞̟̻͇̭͖ ̳̝̺̯̣̠̣̲͎̝̞̣̭̫͘͠S̡̧̼͈̱̳̰̰̳̻̺̫̝͈͖͎ͅH̦̖̣̦̱͓͙͓̣́͜͠͠Ù̸͎̹̼̱͈͇̼̼̕ͅͅṰ̤̝̦̞͍̮̦̞̼̪͕̹̬͈͝T͞͏̟͖͔̯̼̫̞̥̣̘͉̫̟ͅI̢͖̪̮̺̰̟͎͈͇̻͈͔͉̱̯͓̻͞N̢̨̮̱͕̣͟Ģ̸̝̟͚̩͙͖ͅ ҉̴̝̭̩̯̫̤̼̬͇͡ͅD̨͏̺͎̝̟͔͉͕̲̮͎̦͓̥͕̹͓̮̖̘̀͠Ǫ̵͍͇̝̱̖̳̦͖͡W̸̧̩͕̹̹̬̰̻̣̣͓̞̼̮̦̺͟͞͡N̡̛̫͙̠͚̠̲̙̟̤͔̦͙ͅ.҉̢̻̝̦͓̀̕͠

Comments

[jumpship]

[ Baelfire isn't used to seeing Hook so easily startled. he winces when he hears the tablet drop, and leans a little closer to the strange glass to see what's happening on the other end. how strange, these things were.

but it's when he hears his name he knows, for certain, that it is indeed the captain he knew. well, relatively. ]

Yes. [ had they met at any point before this, Baelfire may have laughed, smiled, even dropped the tablet. but instead he's incredibly still, his face more visible now as he situates closer to the screen. ]

How is it you're here? [ because Hook traded him in, after all, no doubt Pan rewarded him handsomely. maybe even with a way out of Neverland. ]

[villainously]

( how is he here? that seems a bit of an ironic question for the boy that should be an adult. and dead. Hook hardly knows how to answer, or even what to say. this shouldn't be possible, even with magic. magic could renew youth but it couldn't subvert death.

it can't be real. it can't be. he can't fathom why anyone would pull such a trick but it has to be one. )

I don't know. ( his expression was dark and distant, looking into the eyes of the boy he'd failed so long ago. it may have not been real but it managed to hurt like it was. he was supposed to be saving Henry, in an entirely too late attempt to make amends with a ghost. and instead he was having hallucinations of him as he froze half to death. )

It's far too late now, I know. But I wish that I had never let you go.

( bizarrely open for Hook, but a man sure he's hallucinating, what is the point of secrecy? if his broken mind is giving him a chance at closure then be will take it. it's a regret he's carried for years but one he's never let himself speak until now. he'd given up when he should have fought, thrown Bae to the wolves instead of trying to convince him that he could be different. he won't ever be able to tell the real Baelfire, but perhaps it will relieve his aching heart some to tell his ghost. )

[jumpship]

[ it's a mistake, talking to him, and Baelfire realizes it after it's far too late. Hook has shadows across his face that not even he has seen in the time spent with the pirate. but isn't this what they always looked like? his father, and Hook both, when they'd realized their mistakes? ]

Wishes don't come true.

[ Neverland has taught him that -- taught him that no matter how much hope you hold out, something will always stand in your way. Baelfire hasn't given up on a good future for himself, but he can't see through the fog to what lies beyond. ] You said you could change, but you can't. You lied to me, about everything. If you had changed, you'd have come back. You'd have found me on the island.

[ he wants to scream, the emotions fresh and raw in his chest. he wasn't meant to have a home, not even Neverland, it seems. ] But I survived. And now... now we're in another strange land.

[villainously]

( it's funny how real this vision seems. if it's generated by the pirate's own head then he's especially vicious with himself. painfully accurate in detailing the pain and the anger in the boy he'd failed so astronomically. his hand is still shaking terribly, which breaks up the picture and no matter how painful the image is he doesn't want to lose it, so he sets the magic glass down on the bed. it makes it hard to see the pirate himself, but the picture is easier to see when it doesn't shake. )

I know. ( those words, you can't change; oh, they're familiar. he's pretended that's true for centuries for his own selfish benefit. if he can't change, why bother trying? why pay mind to the guilt of his actions when he can't be better than the villain he always was? Bae was the first person to make him think he could, but Bae had given up and so had he. he hasn't tried since then, not since Emma, not since he heard that Baelfire was gone, in part because of him. )

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I can't change. I'm still going to try. For you. ( for Henry, too. it may be too late for him to really change, but he'd been willing to go into Neverland with the possibility he wouldn't make it out. let his last acts be good ones. he doesn't suspect the figment will believe him. Baelfire never had, anyway. ) I did find you, you know. That cave, with the door run up by vines. I wanted to know if you were safe, I just stayed away because I thought that was what you wanted. ( just another regret, slipped easily off like a confession to himself. the pirate leans back, trying to tighten the blanket he's stolen off the bed over his shoulders. he's still bloody freezing.

Bae's note that he survived doesn't surprise Hook, he's always known that. the comment that they're both in a strange land makes the pirate's expression contort a bit in confusion. when he speaks again it's with a bit of distant awe. ) You say that like you're really here. ( he doesn't know what this madness is, but it's impossible for Baelfire to really be talking to him. and it isn't as if he hasn't spoken to his ghosts before; he's just not used to them speaking back. )

[jumpship]

[ Baelfire wants to believe that this man can change, wants to believe that maybe he'd wake up back in Neverland and there would be concrete proof, that he could go back to the Jolly Roger. but how could he live with a murderer? a liar? hadn't he done that enough with his father? when would he be free of such darkness and have a life of his own? maybe that's what this place is for? ]

You found me? Why? Pan couldn't find me and what, were you going to surrender me to them again?

[ but the fact that Hook came looking at all does soften a bit of the edge in Baelfire's voice. it's not forgiveness, it certainly doesn't lessen the deep rivets of hurt that course through him, but it helps. at least for now. Bae leans back as well, the magic glass in his lap. the boy is shivering, though he'd deny it. shaking from anger, maybe.

but it's when Hook speaks again that Baelfire sighs aloud, shaking his head. ]

I am here. Probably another of Pan's punishments. I... woke up, and I was here. I do not know where I am supposed to be anymore.

[villainously]

I just wanted to know you were safe.

( he'd considered reaching out but in the end, he'd never done it. centuries had gone on, knowing Baelfire was on the island, alone, and he'd never once tried to reach out. is that what this is trying to accomplish? remind him of his failures? as if he didn't wander through life with them clinging to his heels like a shadow.

it's mind numbing and it doesn't make sense. he wants to tell the hallucination he's on to it, he knows it can't actually be here. and yet he doesn't. he sets the tablet down and scrubs at his face, and the pirate is shivering too. diving for pills in the basement was not his best plan. he doesn't know what is going on anymore. )

Do you remember when I taught you to navigate by the sun? Do you know what direction you're in?

[jumpship]

But you weren't concerned with that when you simply told them where I was. When you brought me right to the Lost Boys. Why now?

[ it's a honest question, not necessarily meant to be cruel, but the content is sharp enough. why he doesn't just turn the magic glass off he doesn't know, but no matter what anger rises at even the sound of the man's voice, he's still familiar. familiar in a place where he has no one. ]

I know what direction I'm in. At least using this sun like Neverland's. [ but he's not sure he wants to give up where he is. would the pirate come after him? would he search him out or leave him to freeze? ] I remember. [ no matter how angry he is, though, he will at least give Hook that. he learned a lot on the Jolly Roger, learned enough to help him stay alive, even in Neverland. ]

[villainously]

Because I was wrong to do it then. I wasn't going to do it twice.

( fact was Pan likely knew exactly where the boy was, the entire time, but Hook didn't feed him any more information after that. at least not about Baelfire. to earn his passage out he had to work for the maniacal overlord of Neverland and that's not something he's particularly proud of, either.

the pirate breathes a broken sigh at even a potential mirage's refusal to trust him. he's not sure why he's asking anyway. if he sought out a ghost, he'd never find it. )

I'm to the north. If you go too far that way there's a wall of snow, but I don't know how long it lasts.

[jumpship]

Is not everything here a wall of snow?

[ and there's a hint of the boy again, the disparate and fatigued sound in his voice nothing more than that of a child. any other child might be delighted to see snow, might make a merry time of it, but Balefire's soul is worn down like that of an old man's. ]

I'll travel south, then. Someone will have to figure out what's there, too. [ he won't lose his way, get confused. he'll be able to track where he's been better than by footsteps alone. ] Why would Pan bring us here? Has he sent you to kill me, or... or make sure I fall into another trap of his? I want to return to Neverland, away from this place.

[villainously]

It's not the same. Fifty feet high, or more than that.

( alternatively the snow levels around aren't so bad... though certainly not enjoyable, crawling up inside clothes and refusing to be shaken. he's not sure he thinks Bae going south is a good idea, though. randomly traveling at all might not be wise for someone his age. )

You should find a place warm and safe and stay there. ( whatever is to the south, it's not a pressing concern to Hook at the moment. as for the rest of it... ) He didn't send me to hurt you. I don't know what this is, Baelfire, I'm just as lost as you are.

( and just as tired. he's stopped shivering, he's not sure if that's a good sign or not. )

[jumpship]

[ his expression turns into one of surprise when he hears that indeed, the snow is higher than he imagined. fifty feet -- that was an impossible climb, and dangerous. ]

I am fine. I have traveled on my own plenty before. I have had to, and this is no different. I will do what I must to survive.

[ and he won't let a man who abandoned him tell him what to do. perhaps once he would have hung on every word the pirate spoke, but he cannot now. he cannot trust him, and can only trust himself. ]

Then it really could be like Neverland. All over again. [ lost, wandering, miserable. perhaps they wouldn't age, either, then it would merely be a very cold Neverland. he's so tired of being lost. ] And if that's so, I will have to be even more cautious. If Pan is here, then... [ Hook would certainly be bending to his will when the shadow creature came calling. ] I should go.

[villainously]

( to Hook it doesn't seem so far from a bitterly cold Neverland, either. the only difference was Pan had yet to come and rub his nose in his failures. perhaps this is just a new game he's playing; nobody would know to flash Baelfire's visage but Pan.

the pirate still can't tell if he believes in the wisp of his past or not. It may sound like and look like the Bae he knew but that boy is gone now. Grown and gone. so it shouldn't bother him when Baelfire puts in distance. just following the path they've always gone in.

Hook swallows and let's his head fall against the wall, closing his eyes. ) All right. ( he doesn't have the strength in him to argue. especially with what is very likely not real. )