[log] shit shouldve applied a movement penalty for boners [semi-closed]

[sharktrash]

Characters: Squalo, Xanxus, Angel, Bester, Rhys? Others in the area?
Location: Starting at the bunker and proceeding INTO THE WILD
Date: late 403 - early 404 and on
Summary: Team Varia decides to vacate the premises. Except someone made a promise to murder his comatose Not Girlfriend so she's obviously coming along. Whether she wants to or not.
Warnings: language, kidnapping, will update as necessary

[ WRITE YOUR OWN STARTERS LOSERRRRS ]

Comments

for Xanxus; late 403/early 404

[sharktrash]

[ Getting attacked by comatose Stephen has firmly established that something is Very Wrong. ]

[ And then, in the middle of the night, the screaming starts, and goes on, and on, and on and then abruptly stops and Squalo's not all that keen on finding out what happens next. He'll go find his boss, who he assumes had moved somewhere as far away from the noise as possible - or not, because certainly spending most of his waking (and not) hours around Squalo should have built up his tolerance. ]

We should leave.

[fiammadellira]

[Likely no surprise right about now, Squalo's going to be met with a boss whose scars have already become fully visible. Varia at least know not to disturb his sleep. Those who fell unconscious earlier, on the other hand...

Yeah, without his flames and guns to level this whole bunker, he's more than ready to agree with that idea the second it's spoken. Only...]

It's not over.

[Lockdown. Lockdown isn't over, at least from how wrong it feels to be awake right now. But if his answer comes off as some ominous agreement about what's happening to the others, instead, that's fine too.

He's getting up, anyway, motioning for the animal he'd been resting against to follow as well.

Choosing to stand around in a moldy room doesn't sound quite as bad when it means they'll be the first to get out.]

[sharktrash]

[ Oh. Oh no. That's bad. Also hella hot, honestly. But mostly bad. Boss is clearly suffering and he'd thought the cold and the bunker were already bad enough... ]

[ Squalo rubs his temples, sighing. ]

No. But it'll likely only get worse from here. We can get out in the morning, find someplace less populated until whatever... this is plays out.

[fiammadellira]

[Are there any other words that could sound as appealing as "somewhere less populated", right now?

Xanxus wants that, so he'll take the lead in leaving this room to get closer to their goal. With such a strong focus, it's almost as though he's stopped acknowledging Squalo's presence? But it's okay-- Bester's going to watch to make sure they don't get split up.]

[sharktrash]

[ And Squalo will follow, of course. ]

[ Although as the morning draws near, he will make a small detour to grab Angel. ]

[ Considering he's still carrying most of... all of theirs everything, surely Xanxus is not going to complain about him lugging along a tiny blanket burritto, right? ]

for THE AWAKE; early 404

[sharktrash]

[ He's not going to send Xanxus off on his own, not when he's aware what could happen. But he also takes his word seriously. Angel wanted him to be there and interfere -- should he do it now? But it doesn't look like they're doing anything, aside from resisting being killed (which he could overpower now that he knows to expect it, he thinks, but he doesn't quite want to. Who shreds their only ticket to pound town just because it might glue itself back together?) so he's inclined to wait. ]

[ Preferably in a place that's not full of people that can go batshit crazy any minute. ]

[ The solution's obvious enough, so once they decide leaving is the best course of action right now, he'll make his way back to Angel. ]

[ Careful not to do anything that Miller or whatever the fuck would interpret as a threat, he sort of wraps Angel in the blanket, scoops her up, heaving her over his shoulder, and makes his way toward the bunker entrance. ]

404 and on

[sharktrash]

1.

[ AND OFF THEY GO, into the snow. Squalo's walking as fast as he can while carrying a blanket cocoon, maybe intent to put as much distance between himself and the bunker as possible before it starts squirming. ]

[ It's gonna be a fucking long day. ]


2.

[ It's dangerously close to lockdown when they finally reach a house (a glorified living room, really). The blanket cocoon finally gets on the ground. He's not looking to restrain Angel, however, not yet anyway, instead acting as if they all had simply been travelling together. ]


3.

[ TO BE ADDED BELOW ]

1 FOR NOW

[phaseshifter]

[ Hey. You know what's awesome? Getting some quality fuckin sleep. Angel is a massive fan of it. It's been kind of a rarity lately, though, so when she finally begins stirring into wakefulness she isn't exactly in a hurry to open her eyes. Instead, she attempts to snuggle further into the official Hyperion And Friends Cuddle Pile™ as she makes a series of little sleepy noises.

Little sleepy noises that... kinda hurt. What's wrong with her throat? Is she getting mould flu? Friiiiick. Oh, well. All the more reason to get some extra sleep, right? Right. ]

 

 

[ Geez, it's cold. Did someone leave the bunker door open? ]

....mmsomebody. Shut the thing. S'cold.

[ She attempts to raise an arm to bat at whoever is holding her, but. She seems to be all tangled in the blankets? Huh. After a few moments of sleepy struggling, she finally opens her eyes. ]

... Wha' th'frick.

[ She's not squirming yet, just. Looking very confused. And sleepy. Is this a dream or something? Because yes okay it's not THAT weird for her to dream about Squalo bUT THIS IS NOT USUALLY HOW THOSE DREAMS GO, ]

[sharktrash]

[ Ah, shit. ]

[ The blanket buritto is wiggling a little bit, and Squalo glances at it. Which won't help much since he's probably got it over his shoulder and not in his arms bridal style, he's got like a dozen bags to carry aside from Angel so sorry, it's all about the efficiency and not the romance right now. ]

[ On the bright side it's not like she can't recognize him from those five feet of white hair as well as his face. ]

Mornin' sunshine.

[ YEP EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. ]

[ also don't worry Angel there will be chances for the usual steaminess of ur Squalo dreams later??? ]

[phaseshifter]

[ Blah blah efficiency blah. Look. Everyone fucking knows Angel is only getting the shoulder-carry because it's the most convenient for butt ogling. On both sides. Or it would be if Squalo had a butt. ZINGED YET AGAIN!

Not that Angel is very concerned about the absence of butt right now. She's just very confused. Okay, so she's. Wrapped up? And outside? And being carried by Squalo??

She gives it a few seconds, but none of these pieces of information manage to coalesce into anything even remotely understandable. ]

What's go-- ow.

[ Oh, right. Throat hurts way more when she talks. Okay. That checks out. ]

Morning. Where are - did I get hurt?

[ Maybe she's being taken to a doctor or something? YEAH. THAT ALMOST MAKES SENSE. SORTA. SURELY THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON ]

[sharktrash]

[ oh my god ]

[ maybe he will spite-nuzzle her butt JUST FOR THIS ]

Kind of.

[ strap in ]

You and a bunch of other people went into some kind of a coma. It was fuckin' creepy. This guy, - Stephen, I think? - actually attacked me. [ yeah it's not like you were trying to MURDER HIM IN HIS SLEEP, Squalo ] While comatose. He looked like a vicious puppet pulled by invisible strings. And then everyone started screaming their heads off for fucking forever so I grabbed you and we bailed.

[ y'know, before something worse happened ]

[ ARE YOU GRATEFUL YET ]

[phaseshifter]

Dude. A coma, again?

[ WELL. That's. A thing, apparently. Is that why her memories feel kinda foggy? She was pretty hecked up after the last one, after all. The screaming is new, though. New and hecked up. ]

Thank you. For getting me out, I mean. I didn't attack anyone, right? I assume that's why we're leaving, just to make sure things are okay in the aftermath?

[ Just like she asked!! Assuming she really did ask, fucked as her memories are. That whole conversation feels almost dream-esque?

Except again, uh, that isn't how her Squalo dreams usually go. Whatever. He's taking her away so she can't be a danger and that's so considerate of him and GOSH HE'S THE BEST. She's kind of limited in any grateful gestures she can do while she's a living burrito, so she just kind of. Attempts an affectionate lean. It'll have to do. ]

 

 

[ That lasts like two seconds before she stiffens up in alarm. OH WELL. ]

Wait, why isn't -- where's Rhys?

[sharktrash]

No. Not yet, at least.

[ He's not sure if it's safe to call it an "aftermath" just yet, but he's not going to debunk her theory. It's close enough, more or less. Except they're leaving to keep Xanxus safe, and Angel's just the extra luggage because Squalo takes his promises too seriously, but who's keeping count. ]

[ HE REALLY IS THE BEST THOUGH ]

Uh, not sure. He was working on some computer thing. Why?

[ AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW, SQUALO ]

[ then again, Angel can probably see a noodle stumbling after them in the distance if she looks hard enough so ]

2

[headjacked]

[ Hey so you did you guys think you could just hoist Angel on out of there without somebody noticing? Like it was really gonna be that easy??

Rhys is bursting through the door seconds before it slams and seals for the night, breathing like he’s just finished a marathon or two. His red face is MAD AS SEVEN HELLS. ]

ASS, FREEZEHOLES!

[ There isn’t a lot of time to react to this shaking wet noodle before he starts fucking u n l o a d i n g snowballs, carpet bombing the interior with a seemingly never-ending supply held up in his shirt.

GET REKT ]

so this is defs a four way thread right

[phaseshifter]

[ One day Angel will learn that despite everything, a weird day can always get weirder. Like, sure, she's spent the whole freaking day as a pissed-off take out blanket burrito. Her memories are fuzzed. She's been kidnapped by her Not Boyfriend and fuckin Grumpy Cat. Shit's about as weird as it gets.

And then Rhys is there and he seems to have made some kind of experimental MIRV grenades entirely out of snow and what the frick is her life. ]

Ohhhhhh my god.

[ She can't yell with her throat as fucked as it is, so. That'll have to do. HI RHYS. PLS DON'T PUNCH HIM, VARIA BOYS. ]

ofc

[sharktrash]

[ the fuck ]

[ unfortunately, having spent a significant portion of his life being pelted by glasses, bottles, chairs, tables, weaponry, vases and a variety of expensive and heavy interior decorations, squalo is less than impressed by the rain of snowballs. ]

[ and relatively unharmed, worst of all. ]

[ he stares flatly at rhys for a few moments, then his eyes set on bester, since the cat just happens to be out of the snowballs' way to the side and therefore well positioned to flank to flank the screamy wet noodle. ]

[ he makes that little, quick head-cant that anyone spending enough time around mafia high-ranking bandits can probably interpret as "take him out". ]

[fiammadellira]

[Being quite literally made for battle, if there's one thing that can't get past Bester it's the start of a fight. It doesn't matter that the signal's not coming from Xanxus-- the liger still obeys, standing his ground to face Rhys and roar loudly.

... And.. that seems to be it..?

Everyone's powers were lost. What a surprise. Xanxus would be laughing at the sight of his box animal finally coming to that realization, if only he weren't one of the ones getting hit with snow.

Fine, then. He'll act too. Rather than bother to get away, he steps towards their attacker and glares.]

Want to spend the night outside?

[Meaning "get thrown back out by Squalo", obviously, so there's an expectation for the shark to try some sort of feint, there. Of course Xanxus is aware that it's not something that can really be acted on. Not with that timing. But maybe someone who can't even put two words together in the right order will get the hint instead of catching on that the threat is empty.]

[headjacked]

[ A large tiger-lion hybrid is roaring is gonna startle a Rees, face-melting soundwaves or whatever not necessary. He jolts back, crushing a snowball in his robohand before he can throw it.

It's a... good? (no.) thing he's hopped up on manic energy, sleepless nights giving him a surplus of energy. He barely knows what to do with himself these days. This is probably why he's dropping the leftover snowballs and fishing something out of his bag.

Frying pan.



Yeah. ]

I've killed with this, you know! So go ahead, try me!

[ Xanxus' threat is empty, Rhys is... just plain unpredictable. Even to himself. ]

Angel?? You okay?

404 post stupid slapfights

[headjacked]

[ No good deed goes unpunished.

If... you define the shenanigans Rhys pulled a 'good deed', because it's still not super clear why any of this is happening at all, but he's not raising hell over it anymore. Mostly due to concerns about personal safety.

So. He's sulking.

Hardcore.

In the furthest corner he can manage from Team Shitbirds, pressing into the wall like he's trying to phase through to the other side. Even Angel is getting a frosty disposition, and not just because he's refused her sweater and is still sporting his wet cardigan.

If you come near, you're getting aggressively turned away from, with deliberate dramatic flair. Rhys is just Like That. ]

not here

[sharktrash]

[ oh my GODDDD if you want to get fucking pneumonia that's on you!! the wet cardigan isn't punishing anybody but yourself, you idiot!! ]

[ although squalo might throw some rations his way out of pity as the night progresses. who knows. he's not his fucking mother however so he's not touching the clothes or the hurt feelings issue with a ten foot pole. ]

[ like, whatever, man. ]

[phaseshifter]

[ Angel is sulking with a little more dignity than Rhys, naturally. There's no drama, just ice. She's realised by now that getting angry is just going to feed Squalo's insatiable angerboner anyway, so this seems like the best way to deal with everyone and everything until she stops being mad.

Which. Doesn't actually take very long. Because she's always going to be that weirdo who gets massively attached to people because of all those years spent being a friendless turboloser. Even Squalo will be more-or-less forgiven by morning. In Rhys' case, it takes like. Fifteen minutes before she scoots over. ]

If you aren't going to wear the sweater, at least take the cardigan off. It needs to dry.

[ The DRAMATIC TURN is being ignored, of course. Because Rhys is indeed just Like That. ]

[headjacked]

[ Rhys ignores her.

For all of ten seconds, maybe eleven if we're being generous. He then slowly unpeels his head from the wall and fixes her with one of his poutiest of faces. God he's just so tired SO TIRED ]

It's dry, it's fiiiIIIiioowowoowowOW --

[ The headache surges in intensity and he shoves his face in his hands, looking for that pressure point to relieve some of the pain. ]

[phaseshifter]

It's not dry-- oh, geez. Look, take it off and use it to cool your head?

[ LOOK SHE HAS HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS AND EVERYTHING. NO MORE SULKS. ]

And then put the effing sweater on, you goof. You already hit your bad decision quota for the day, maybe don't make any more.

[headjacked]

Bad desc -- are we still? Blaming me for this??

[ Rhys redirects the Poutface at Squalo, though only very extremely MEGA briefly, because he is definitely not looking to start more shit. He's been embarrassed enough for one day. Week. Year. Lifetime.

He does finally, clumsily unbutton the cardigan and press it against his forehead. The sweater stays off, and he clutches it like a blanket instead. Coordination not his strongest at the moment. ]

I came to HELP YOU. I'm still not exactly sure you don't need any!

[phaseshifter]

I'm not blaming you for this --

[ VAGUE GESTURES. "This" being the whole. Kidnapping. Situation. Thingie. ]

-- just your part in escalating it. Which wasn't the biggest part, and that would be why I'm fussing over you and not other offending parties.

[ H U F F. She briefly considers tossing her hair over her shoulder for effect, realises that's something Rhys would do, and immediately vetoes it. ]

I'm not the one who needs help here. I mean - honestly, this is the least objectionable kidnapping I've experienced yet.