snowblindrpg | Event: Consolidation Theory, Part Four and Five

[Of course Will would have noticed the one sign this cell wasn't actually empty. Enoch had done nothing to hide his largely untouched food tray.

The voice was too close to come from another cell. He seemed calm, but...would that change, if he knew he was talking to one of the marked? He speaks, his voice coming from inside the bathroom.]

I'm one of them. You should know that, before you come looking.

[ Will paused, at the threshold of the cell door. He didn't come in any further, but that was more for Enoch's comfort than for his own. ]

I've spoken to a few of those, similarly marked. No one appears to be interested in a repeat of last night. [ At the moment anyway. ] So I'm not particularly worried.

Are you alright, Enoch?

[Enoch peers out from the bathroom with his red-eclipsed eyes, then scoots himself to sit in its doorway, staying low, unprepared for a fight, nonthreatening. He watches him, as if looking for one of those involuntary flinches. Any tension in him seems ready to withdraw more than anything else.]

I don't think any of us remember last night. I...I'm...

[He shakes his head.]

Compared to those of us we...attacked, I'm...

[Considering he was throwing himself against the barrier and screaming at Miller earlier, he's probably not okay, but he's not admitting as much in words. If he's even admitting it to himself.]

I should be asking you that.

[ As Enoch moved to the bathroom doorway, Will carefully lowered his own posture until he was hunkered on his heels. It wasn't easy but he was started to get good at the stiff movements, and it was important to him not to appear threatening.

Listening to Enoch, his eyebrows drew together in a pensive manner. ]

That's something I've been hearing from the others, who have red marks. The lack of any memory. My own is spotty, but it's there ... and it seems to be more clear than what you can recall.

[ Which, to Will's mind at least, reinforced the idea that whatever had happened had been caused by Miller glitching in the system.

What else was caused by people glitching in the system, maybe back in the beginning?

Shelving that thought for the time being, he pulled his focus back to Enoch and drummed up a small, but hopefully comforting smile. ]

I call something like this 'Tuesday' back home. [ It was a weak joke, mainly because it was only partially a joke. ]

Flynn said we've all received injections, even you...

[He offers his arm with the hospital bracelet attached to the wrist. Though, respectful of his potential to cause psychological harm, he makes no move to approach first. Will can come to him on his own terms.]

I heard someone - John, I think - say one of these affects memory. We might have had more, we were- I don't know. I don't know why he brought you here.

At least one set. [ Will confirmed. ] But I don't remember anything other than ... static.

[ When Enoch offered his arm, Will scooted over without hesitation until he could read the little plastic band. He couldn't take the offered arm, not with his hands bandaged the way they were, but he saw enough. ]

Anisomycin. [ He confirmed. ] It ... well, I'll let the doctors speak to the science, but it is meant to affect memories.

[ And as it had been with Junpei, the Anisomycin was the only thing Will could identify on the bracelet. ]

I'm afraid that's the only one I recognize. I'm sorry, Enoch.

Static. We had static, too. Shapes - people? You can make more sense of this than I can.

[He looks down at his bracelet again. Nothing but the basic information makes any sense to him at all. (What good would it do for a bracelet meant for doctors to list his age as "approx. 400" anyway, when his chronological age has no bearing on his actual health? He'd be amused if not for the horror of the situation.)]

Do you know if memories affected by it will return?

[ Shapes, people ... yes that did sound familiar, at least in terms of the initial taking. Which was curious.

Will's lips twitched slightly at the suggestion that he could make sense of anything, but he didn't refute the remark. It wouldn't serve Enoch any benefit to get into a back and forth about that subject. ]

I'm familiar with the drug, but only on an academic level. You would be better served to ask one of the doctors, they might understand how it works on the mind and what long term effects might be involved.

[He actually has memories to make sense of. Enoch has a blank he can only fill in with the help of people like Will. He nods at the answer, and seems to be able to relax just a bit, at just having had this conversation.]

I understand.

[He lapses into silence a moment. He can think of nothing to say, and nothing to prompt Will on, but he is loathe to leave company now that he has it. Eventually, his exhausted mind finds a subject that had been dropped.]

Only another "Tuessday"? [Though the names of the weekdays themselves are unfamiliar to him, he understands enough through the tone. Somehow, nobody's actually said any of them to him in his time here. He offers the weakest of smiles.] I don't suppose that puts you in a position to impart some advice?

[ He'd been on the cusp of trying to figure out if he should get up and depart, when Enoch asked his question.

Will tilted his head curiously, looking a little tentative but then nodded slowly. ]

Depends upon the advice?

[ The question was an invitation for Enoch to keep going and ask his question. ]

On...this. On not losing your sanity in the face of someone who seems determined to take-...to take away anything you might claim to be yours, including you yourself.

[The smile, needless to say, did not last long.]

[ Uh. Well, this was going to be awkward.

Will's lips twitched and he gave a soft chuckle, glancing down at the floor and at his hands, then back up to Enoch. ]

I find it helps when you start without those particular handicaps. [ He couldn't help the bit of snark, but appeared to be apologetic for it in the next moment and sobered. ]

I've never been a mentally stable man, Enoch. It's part of what makes me good ... made me good at my job back home. But it also made me vulnerable to a killer I was trying to stop, and he did all of that. Took my sanity, my reputation, and on various occasions nearly my life.

Eventually I stopped trying to put the pieces back together, just kind of gather them all up in a bag and keep them on my belt.

[Hitting a nerve wasn't what he meant to do. Enoch flinched, and reached out to rest hesitant fingertips on Will's shoulder.]

I'm...I'm sorry. I wasn't-...

[He'd seemed as if he was doing well for the situation. Was this more tolerable than whatever that killer had put him through?]

[ Will just managed to keep from bolting out from under the physical contact. It had nothing to do with the lines on Enoch's skin, but just a general personal space issue.

Still he flinched. He couldn't help that. But he also quickly shook his head and turned to look at the other man, his expression kind.

When he spoke, that same kindness entered his soft tones. ]

You didn't know, Enoch. I don't particularly advertise my history ad it has very little impact on our current circumstances here in Norfinbury.

[Enoch flinched at that, himself, drawing his hand back and folding it awkwardly with his other by his knees, safely away from the other man. He should have known better than to just touch without asking, in this kind of situation. It may have nothing to do with his markings in truth, but it was the first conclusion Enoch found.]

I- even so, you've been through enough already. I suppose I was hoping to hear it hadn't been so bad. And...I'm sorry that it was. That you've gone from something like that to this place.

Well, [ Will began, paused and then his lips twitched into a wry but amused smile. ] At least I can't say I wasn't well prepared for this place?

[Enoch wants to share that humor, he really does.

He thought he'd experienced the worst torture a man can endure, in The Darkness. Kept alive while suffering injuries that should have killed him, but the physical pain was only a safety net. Something to stop him if he wrested control from the demon using his body to fight his friend, something to fall back on if the torment dredged up from the dark depths of his own emotional pain failed to hold his will. It had, several times, while the imperative to stop fighting, to stop hurting the man who had come to save him was present. The ability to separate his actions from Belial's, the ability to fight back and stop himself from causing harm...he had taken that for granted.

He'd always known humanity had limitless potential. Norfinbury was proof of concept, but in the wrong direction. If the cult sickness indeed began with him as he suspected, Robert Miller had surpassed a demon prince in capacity to cause suffering.

When he speaks, it's in response to his own thoughts, because they are as much of a reply as he could ever manage.]

...It could have been so much better, everything that Norfinbury is.

[ It was not hard to identify the moment when Enoch retreated into his own head and his own thoughts for a bit. Will purposefully didn't try to follow him, attempting to ensure the man some measure of privacy in a world that seemed determined to take it from them.

When Enoch spoke, the ex-profiler looked up and considered the words for a long minute before responding. ]

I've found, that even with the best of intentions, removing peoples' free will never has good results.

Because there is always going to be someone, along the line, who is going to find a way to abuse it.

...No. [Enoch shakes his head, and for a moment it seems he'll retreat again. Removing their free will is all Norfinbury is now, but Enoch's sights are on what it was meant to be.] I'm not talking about the removal of free will. I'd never advocate such a thing. That's where it went wrong. It was never necessary, and it never needed to be integral.

These machines in our blood. They could monitor health with perfect accuracy, physical or otherwise. They could determine what medicine is needed and administer it instantly - with express consent from the person they inhabit. Most suffering could have been eliminated. The ability to directly manipulate the brain need not have been created, or could have been heavily protected against if I'm wrong. The same system that prevents us from regaining our suppressed abilities, that requires outside verification, it could protect against abuse by physicians. Could have protected.

Instead...instead consent is implied by a citizenship itself not freely chosen. And we have all of this.

[ Again, Will heard Enoch out and with each word he seemed to grow more and more somber. ]

It always sounds like a good thing, in the beginning. But giving away too much of your personal privacy leads to yielding your personal freedoms. In my world, one of our most closely guarded and regulated areas of privacy are our medical records.

Even with all these nanomachines are capable of, all the good, there was always too much risk of abuse.

You can never be sure of that. If everything was optional, if nothing was given away or watched without one's own permission, is that not privacy?

The technology itself isn't at fault, only the ones who decided to misuse them. All of these mistakes were made by human beings. That means there's always a different outcome. It could always be better. Because we can always be better.

[He tucks himself into a ball. This poor, fallen world, with an absolute wretch its only survivor... He remembers the thirst to destroy those who would wrong him and humanity as a whole under the vileness, an exaggerated expression of real, ugly feelings of resentment.

Vileness brought forth violent rage at Heaven and The Darkness. But never, ever Earth. Enoch's faith in humanity as a whole is absolute and immovable so long as some part of him remains, and Will's challenge prompts him to cling to it as an anchor. He'll fight tooth and nail for humanity's honor- they can get it right. They will. If the quantum theories he's been learning about here mean anything, they eventually must.]

...They lacked someone like you, to shed light on the risks. Caution is how progress is tempered, so we avoid mistakes we won't survive to learn from, like the one that destroyed this world.

[ Enoch was killing him here with the talk of his ability to shine light in dark places. Will believed he'd lost that light, but watching Enoch curl on himself and grasp desperately at hope was almost physically painful and Will didn't have it in him to break the man any further.

Darkness or not, he did not crush injured birds. ]

You're right, that the technology is neutral. [ He could give on that point. ] In many ways it is the pure representation of humanity's capacity for curiosity and the desire to improve.

I hope that maybe we can get to the day where our ethics, match our ability to create.

[ Then, because he could only stand to sit in his own hypocrisy for so long, Will began to struggle to get to his feet. ]

You should try to get some rest, Enoch. In case we have to go round two.

We will, so long as we survive.

[And there must be a timeline where they had. If string theory accounts for every possibility, there must be at least one where everything goes right.

But what Will says next sobers his confidence a little. Rest for a potential round two? No. If he hadn't eaten the meal provided last time, could he have possibly caused less damage to the others? Could one of those injuries have been avoidable?]

...I would rather not be rested, if I am to be incited to attack others again. I would rather make myself more easily subdued.

I don't expect Miller to give us the option of subduing those of you who are marked. He didn't last time. [ Will said it gently, feeling bad but he didn't want to leave Enoch with the assumption that his physical state now would affect Miller's machinations.

Drugs and perception were funny things. ]

Try to rest.

[He doesn't say anything, but does not provide agreement, either. The unmarked may not have fought back, but surely they must have defended against one another. And surely his ability to inflict harm was dependent on his own body's energy?

Silently, he withdraws into the bathroom again, curled behind the wall and hoping he will mitigate what damage he can. That he still has this much.]

Event: Consolidation Theory, Part Four and Five

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cw: mental illness / ableism

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